Open Poetry #27 |
The Prophecy, Part I (Duet: Sunshine & Patricia) |
Patricia Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160Missouri |
The Prophecy, Part I Her mother's silvered mirror reveals softer lines than she has heard over her years. Tonight she pays no mind. She is past her past, aware of imperfections which someday might be his fulfillment, and she smiles at his reflection, a ghost, shining in her eyes As silver'd mirror becomes crystal, the ball in which she begins to prophesize that first rendezvous. Behind lid of closed eye imagination takes hold a figure forms a hand brushes her brow gentleness is almost a scent she takes a shallow breath as she feels him entering her soul At once she weakens tears fall silent she breathes deep, as if to sigh, his presence envelops her taking her completely embracing all she was as she emerges whole by this silent mating of their souls This...this is the dream and she, she is his recipient, while he...he is out there tenderly scribing thought, brushing brows with a gentle touch, the scent of him, smelling of love. [This message has been edited by Sunshine (06-14-2003 10:59 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2003 Patricia A. Plotz - All Rights Reserved | |||
JilGirl Member
since 2003-05-24
Posts 364Washington |
You've touched my heart with ths excellent write. Emotions, I thought hidden, have emerged. I needed this! Thanks! Blessings! Shirl Till oceans cease to flow and deserts lose their sands, may beauty surround you every day and wealth be in your hands. [This message has been edited by JilGirl (06-14-2003 10:34 PM).] |
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QjQ Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756U.S.A. |
congrat's to both very good write!!! QjQ |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Patricia & Karilea... This took me away and I am still drifting.. Amazingly beautiful write... I was going to choose my favourite stanza but I would have copied the entire piece here. May we see you two du-et again soon? ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Ok girls/ladies... Ya gone and done it now... you are confined to writing nothing but duets from here to eternity. Beautiful, I must say... The lines added so measurably the feel of mystique, of something yet to come... much enjoyed. Perhaps he will appear.. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
You've both taken my breath away...waiting now, for part two. Maree |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
wonderful! just fantastic! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
We have a gem of a poet here, folks. She's got a gift, has a way with words, and it was my pleasure that she wanted to duet. All I did was add a couple of lines - it was her imagination and verve that's going to make this a two, three, four or five parter... I wonder where she's going to take me with this! Thank you Patricia, for allowing me to duet with you! [This message has been edited by Sunshine (06-15-2003 08:49 AM).] |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Very lovely indeed - You two work seamlessly together... |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Very special and touching. My compliments, I'll be looking for the next part. Love to both you poets! Margherita |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I admire you both for being able to write so flawlessly that I could not pick out one from the other. Looking forward to more. |
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Foxyoasis Senior Member
since 2003-06-10
Posts 974Atlantic Beach,Fla |
very beautifully written. Fool me once shame on you.....Fool me twice shame on me..... |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Patricia and Karilea....Like lace and silk...beautiful words weave your thoughts together. |
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Ericc Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178 |
Beautiful!! Eric |
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Patricia Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160Missouri |
First, I speak for both of us in saying thank you for your wonderful replies. As for you, Karilea, my dear friend, you know that I am but a mere freshman at Passions School, and you are my teacher. It is with you and your words that this verse came alive. Thank you for allowing me to duet with you. I have grown immensely from the experience, and I am so looking forward to another. Plus, I just had the best time of my life!!!! Patricia |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
‘Tonight she pays no mind. She is past her past, aware of imperfections which someday might be his fulfillment, and she smiles at his reflection, a ghost, shining in her eyes’ ‘This...this is the dream and she, she is his recipient, while he...he is out there tenderly scribing thought, brushing brows with a gentle touch, the scent of him, smelling of love.’ Cool...a twofer!!!! Love the repetition and the haunting tone. Ya'll done good! |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Patricia - you two are great together. What a write with so much meaning in it... BC |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
....yes.....he is there..... Beautifully done, and seamless. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Very well done... a nice blending of thought and style...and a nice telling... you two have painted this well and since it says part 1.. I am looking forward to part 2 and others... Nice job ladies...a very nice job. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Part I, you say?!? Are you implying that there is a Part II?!?---then a Part III? and so on and so on...Oh, please say that that is true! Ethereal...and I love ethereal! Huggums to two fine poetesses, Linda |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Patricia...I enjoyed Part II.... hopefully our friends will, too! [This message has been edited by Sunshine (06-17-2003 07:18 AM).] |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
OK..Sunshine..so you enjoyed it..are the rest of us going to be allowed to enjoy it or is it something you just wanted to tease us with? Huh? |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
She threw me some lines, I threw them back...we're honing...refining, gilding them... just wanted everyone to know, sir....that we keep our promises! LOL... |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
just wanted everyone to know, sir....that we keep our promises! LOL... Implying that some of us don't??? Geez...so it was a teaser line..you aren't ready to deliver but have been watching so many onfomercials late at night felt you needed to put a tease line out there to string us along.... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
LOL...not at all! I'm just excited about Part II...and I wish she'd wake up and get with it! LOL... I don't watch infomercials. Is THAT what they do? ROTF... [This message has been edited by Sunshine (06-17-2003 08:55 AM).] |
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Patricia Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160Missouri |
OK, you two...Stop it, right now or I will send you to the principal...Ron! (I am a teacher, CPAT, in my other life.) I sent over the lines, K. Did you get them? Patricia |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
LOL... now Patricia.... you go right ahead and send me to the office... I was sent there so much when I went to school I should feel right at home going back... Of course there was that time.... oh well that is another story...and it ended well enough... just cost me a three day suspension... lmao I do seem to have such an issue with being told to behave and authority in general...LOL... :P |
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Patricia Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160Missouri |
Tell me a story, Ron. You could make even a trip to the principal's office a wonderful journey. Oh Sorcerer...tell me a story. Patricia |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Behind lid of closed eye imagination takes hold a figure forms a hand brushes her brow gentleness is almost a scent she takes a shallow breath as she feels him entering her soul At once she weakens tears fall silent she breathes deep, as if to sigh, his presence envelops her taking her completely embracing all she was as she emerges whole by this silent mating of their souls ============================== the moth is late and playing catch up... but before I head to part 2 I wanted to tell you both how very lovely this is and that your styles blend together like sky and clouds..yes..this begs to be a series of hopefully many to come.. me thinks you wont have a choice with Ron the slave drive nipping at your pens LOL Wonderful writing ladies. Im still imagining your voice ... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Patricia, you've got to love it when the moth lands on us.... She tickles! |
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Patricia Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160Missouri |
Thank you, Janet Marie...creature of light. Your words lighten my heart this morning. So glad you enjoyed your landing. Patricia |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
love it If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried. |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Karilea & Patricia, I'm so glad I waited to read as this has left me longing for more... Just wonderfully done. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Yeah, what Larry said. And this ending is absolutely stunning.... This...this is the dream and she, she is his recipient, while he...he is out there tenderly scribing thought, brushing brows with a gentle touch, the scent of him, smelling of love. Now, to part II |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
" This...this is the dream and she, she is his recipient, while he...he is out there tenderly scribing thought, brushing brows with a gentle touch, the scent of him, smelling of love." seriously love this.... |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
So as the number one fan of this series I am offering the following links in order to expedite even more responses. Prophecy - Part 2 Prophecy - Part 3 Prophecy - Part 4 Prophecy - Part 5 |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Loved the presentation! ARCTIC WIND |
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