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Open Poetry #9
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Limerick and Senryu (For Mark Bohannan)
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Limerick and Senryu (For Mark Bohannan) |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada 
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*I saw Mark's first Haiku post pop back up this morning, and had to smile, for I knew I'd put off your challenge Mark ... so here you go (though cheating a tad I fear!)  *** A Limerick for Mark First I wanted to try me a Haiku, But nature theme lost to a Senryu, So how's this instead, For this challenge I dread, Not a gal of "few" words ... but I tried to! *** The Liquid Motion - Senryu 5-7-5 Quietly words come Cascading fluidly down To soak dry parchment. *** A Poet's Pen - Senryu 5-7-5 A poet's pen poised Wishing willing words to waft Preciously to page. *** I had to add a little alliteration as a bonus try! LOL |
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| © Copyright 2000 Kit McCallum - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Kit, nice Senryu's and interesting limerick "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Kit~ EXCELLENT ! Absolute perfection in Senryu ! Mark will LOVE them ! Didn't you just wrap it up wonderfully. Like the alliteration touch too. Favorite is The Liquid Motion. You are rocking gal ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
So nicely done... great work, Kit... regards, sudhir |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Kit my dear sweet friend...I love what you do. You know that my face is full of smiles dont you? OF course you do. Now that you have done the senyru here is a topic for your HAIKU!!!! lol...didn't think I would let you off on a technicality did you. Let's see now...hmmmmm ok got it. squirrel (s) |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Forgot to tell you. I loved the limerick and you spoil me. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Thanks for the support Kethry, Marge and Sudhir! I very much appreciate (and need) it with these! OK ... Thanks for the fun Mark! Now here I try again ... geez, this is tough for me! Another Limerick For Mark: I’m enjoying your sweet little jest, For you’ve put my mind quickly to test, Can’t say I’m too good, But then try as I would, For this Haiku on squirrel’s ain’t my best! *** The Squirrel’s Camouflage – Haiku 5-7-5 Twitching nose and tail Soft fur to mask it’s disguise Sweet little rodent *** The Trapeze Artist – Haiku 5-7-5 Gauging the distance Grey squirrel flies as acrobat Bird feeder, it’s mark Phew! OK ... can I go back to my “little ballads” now Mark???  Plllllease??? [This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (edited 09-05-2000).] |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
Kit... Wonderful!!!! Today is a gift.... That is why they call it 'the Present'! |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Kit I thank you for all your fun and your dedication to making me smile. Yes my sweet you may go back to your ballads now and of course you know I love them, but I bet you will be back to write more of these little gems.....wanna bet? hugs to you for making my day.  |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
Kit,moi think you have a natural talent for this form of poetry..enjoyed muchly all your attempts,esp The Liquid Motion.... now if i give you a word,will you write more such gems for me too?plsssssssss  Rabbit(s) |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
~Sunny: Thank you for the support! ~Mark: You silly, look what you've started ... aaahhhhh! Did you put Kaile up to this? Hugs right back at ya! (and you won the bet) ~Kaile: Another aaaahhhhhh! OK *** A Limerick for Kaile Now dear Kaile has joined in the fun, Fear my mind is about to be spun, Again I shall try, For I can't just sit by, Oh dear Mark, just what have you begun?!? *** Rabbit's Foot - Haiku 5-7-5 Floppy-eared teddy With eyes of a frightened doe "Lucky" they call him *** Bugs - Haiku 5-7-5 Buck-tooth bunny teeth Wascally wabbit devine Watch out Elmer Fudd *** Phew ... another round! Thanks for the workout Kaile! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
These are all great! Good job! Denise |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Kit~ VERY VERY NICE!! -SEALive,Love,Laugh :) ~SueB |
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insect Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014 |
My first attempt for you Ontario frost Arrives before autumn night Crystallizing all I liked your poems a lot! ~KEEP IT BEAUTIFUL~ [This message has been edited by insect (edited 09-06-2000).] |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Dearest Kit Well done indeed Job well penned See ya Tracie Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Many hearts today smiling upon yours today waiting for Kit's pen ~~~~~*~~~~~ Haiku said and done Senyrus are needed now about love of friend .....thar you go girlie....you started with them so let's see you finish with them and then you can write us all a beatiful "Prose" to tell us how much fun you had and the thoughts racing in your head.LOL |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
~Denise, SEA and Tracie: Thank you soooo much for the words of encouragement! ~Insect: I awoke in my corner of Ontario to this same scene! Beautifully descriptive Haiku! I’ll try to follow your lead (a little less eloquently though, but here goes); Sun rises slowly Warming the earth’s crust Transforms frost to dew *** ~Mark: Aha! Still going we are! Wonderful Senyrus Mark .. thank you for these lovely gems! Now lets see ... *** Another Limerick for Mark (really being spoiled here) There once was a fellow named Mark, Who challenged me just for a lark, So I tried what he said, While smoke poured from my head, Thank you Mark, for the fun that you sparked! *** By Your Side – Senyru 5-7-5 Never a moment Alone in this cold vast world For I am your friend *** A Friendly Smile – Senyru 5-7-5 Teasing and taunting Good humour to lift you up In your times of need *** Luminous Friend – Senyru 5-7-5 Radiant beauty Shines from deep within your soul To lighten my heart And this is the way I will end it for you, my luminous friend. Thanks Mark! [This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (edited 09-06-2000).] |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
---- winking at you as you think it has ended......ROFL...... Thank you for pleasing me with all your words my friend and I leave you with this. Friendly fun in words Has made me smile on this day Kit has grown with pen |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Aaahhh ... and now I can rest. Thank you Mark for the lovely words, and for nudging me along to try my hand at a few of these. This was a wonderful test to see if I really can write "short" verses ... sigh ... Thank you again for your patience and kindness ... and now, my luminous friend, I shall sleep ... (and dream of lengthy ballads) With much appreciation, /Kit |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
kit,you sure take to haikus like a duck takes to water...im greatly impressed but before you go forth to write your ballads,pls write a tanka(5 line japanese poetry with 5-7-5-7-7 syllable count which can be about anything) for me okie...you really thought i was going to let you off so easily...LOL thanx for indulging moi |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Now really Kit, I'll have a fit if there's a doubt in leaving Sunshine out but Kaile beat me to it. So come back to us in loving tender ways soon leaving ink to page Karilea When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Little does Nan know ... she's been my saving grace here! LOL! /pip/Forum22/HTML/000057.html ~Kaile: Now why did I somehow know this might be coming? LOL, thank you Kaile! I've been leaning on Nan's poetry workshop instructions, so I'll switch to her 5-7-5-7-5 format (or she might admonish me!) Yipes! ~Sunshine: What a beautiful Senyru you've left for me here ... just lovely, thank you! *** A Limerick for Kaile and Sunshine You've put me to test once again, So I'll try to lift up this here pen, For a Tanka I'll try, Don't know how, don't know why, But I'll struggle, this one for my friends. *** Early Morning Sun - Tanka 5-7-5-7-5 Life-giving sunshine Gleaming radiantly down To light nature's fire Awakening the beauty Of all living things *** OK, now according to Nan's workshop page, I think I've covered most of these? Phew! Saved! Thanks for all the fun, much appreciation for giving some inspiration everyone! Best wishes, /Kit |
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