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Open Poetry #30
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The Edge of Sea
| Open Poetry #30 |
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The Edge of Sea |
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Greeneyes  
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind 
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{And I fell into place trusting the journey} where poetry walks among shadows, I exist to look inward -- to quiet pools of peace, hoping-- orchids no longer thrive -- their mist escapes barely visible I, a restless plunge of mystery, uneven, guilty shifting lines thinner, absorbed in music, trying to compose -- notes of the composer black waves, slap, sting pass over brilliant white sands to see the girl standing shoreline—weeping from a mask of destiny -- faith of my belief failing reality Fade me upon the land unfold my words then-- in gentle manner give my pattern to rain soaked earth, lead me to the edge of sea& let me read aloud my soul ~~ /pip/Forum83/HTML/002565.html ~*~ In your light I learn how to love In your beauty how to make poems You dance inside my chest where no one sees you and that sight becomes art |
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| © Copyright 2004 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Nahgied New Member
since 2004-01-11
Posts 9 |
i really felt this one...this part in particular. 'a mask of destiny -- faith of my belief failing reality' nice work...i look forward to reading more of your pieces. |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
I appreciate the comment, and thank you  ~*~ |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
GreenEyes~ You do poetry a favor ... hope you always share the elegance with us~ *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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icequeen Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633FL USA |
YOU are extremely talented. Your poetry is quite creative and your use of metaphor wonderful! You work hard on presentation and come up with a uniqueness I like very much. I'll be sure and read more of your writings. I so enjoyed this one and the one you've linked. Hugs Caroline the only man worth your tears will never make you cry |
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Kristin Eve Member
since 2004-01-13
Posts 89On, Canada |
This part in particular caught me in the poem-elbow... "Fade me upon the land unfold my words then-- in gentle manner give my pattern to rain soaked earth, lead me to the edge of sea& let me read aloud" I really like this poem. It's quite lovely. "Who you are speaks so loudly...I can hardly hear what you are saying" |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Elegant....yes, Marge has it right. Another lesson in the art of poetry, from one who does it so...elegantly. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
I'm not sure I have the words... yet.. but you know this as does all your writing, moves me. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Amazing write dear Lauren.. so very much enjoyed. ~Smiles & hugs~ In the midst of winter.. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Fade me upon the land unfold my words then-- in gentle manner give my pattern to rain soaked earth, lead me to the edge of sea& let me read aloud my soul ========================= and let me sit on the sand and listen to every exquisite word.   How foolish must man be, not to be impressed by mountains and trees, not to be brought to his knees by the beauty of the sky and sea. |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Lauren, your writing is so good. It always touched my heart. Ethel |
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ThUnDeRkYsS Senior Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 727Wisconsin |
Wonderfully elegant read, like the style of this one! Strive for higher levels, if they seem out of reach... Grow, and they will get closer. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
where poetry walks among shadows nice |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (smiles) Yay! Oh Lauren, you are like a dragonfly who always soars over these ponds of inspiration, bringing orchids to life and the music to the picture with your poetry music, God Bless You, I love this, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lauren, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "You'll find something that's enough to keep you |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
{And I fell into place trusting the journey} where poetry walks among shadows, I love that thought, and how your poetry brushes the edge and casts itself in the sand. Peace to you, Lauren~ |
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
I liked your poem alot.... Juju |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Lauren, I see you still have the magic touch. I'll always like that ya' know. Peace sweet friend. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
"Fade me upon the land unfold my words then-- in gentle manner give my pattern to rain soaked earth, lead me to the edge of sea& let me read aloud" This reminds me of an oil painting I saw once. Such color and drama! |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
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richard taylor Member
since 2004-01-13
Posts 136 |
Hi This is very fine, I like the way its set out and shows real talent in poetry. excellent. take care Richard. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Fade me upon the land unfold my words then-- in gentle manner give my pattern to rain soaked earth, lead me to the edge of sea& let me read aloud my soul My dear lady... one would be mesmerized I am sure..to hear you read aloud your soul.. |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Your words land softly in my soul Lady L~ as lovely your words as you are.   |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Your words always leave me stunned... "sit on top of the world and tell me how you feel...'cause what you feel is what I feel for you.." |
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