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Open Poetry #28
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Moonlit Compulsion (Part 2 of the "dream duet" with DarkAngel)
| Open Poetry #28 |
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Moonlit Compulsion (Part 2 of the "dream duet" with DarkAngel) |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn 
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The nocturne calls softly compelling rousing her from the feather'd nest and pulls her dream-waked and barefoot. Without shoe or shawl she glides along the grey-green of broken stone her gown covers her, no better than rumor Moonstruck and diaphanous. She's a lost flower within the seed-tasseled grasses that paint dew on her thighs as she lies with him once more mattressed atop the earth of his grave bedding Resting her face upon the cold marble she imagines his... They are separated by six feet of earth and the breadth of heaven between fearsome bodies vegetably alone and floating Into sleep, back to that night She drifts to their camp the caravan once filled with fulfilling A yearning shattered by the arms of jealousy Empty talk and the suspicion of a clock that never struck She paints in her dreams Taking up the brush again mixing dark colors to illustrate the wooden sides of the vardo with a tale of love and lust and jealous unreason Already painted, were the panels portraying the tenuous thread of connectivity and blushing desire Now, she needs to paint the meat of the matter She depicts the chaos La Fortuna thrown out into the pale of dawn the ending of a harmony She was only reading the young mans' cards He saw only, her weeping concern How the "Hanged Man" laid face up and shuffled met his fate Covered with the "Ten of Swords" The innocent bore the weight of black rage Kismet dons his Sable cape And soon enough, the gravitation of odium settled heavy in the wagon pooling thickly on the carpet In the morn, she rouses from her reverie to once again, wake with the sun and finds herself clothed in the red stain of raw clay ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ You can find Part 1 here /pip/Forum80/HTML/003034.html DarkAngel&wranx [This message has been edited by wranx (08-02-2003 10:33 AM).] |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
god you two are butter I see.... first was him with Maree flavor second is her with Ed flavor but both just transcending any sense of "duet" just the perfect pair of duets I've seen this was a woven rug laying silent on it.....tracing you two gots to do more what say? 1 a month?  |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
I smiled when I saw this posted, because I knew it was going to be amazing...I was not disappointed.  I am truly in awe of how beautifully you two write together. I could read your duets all night...and then some... This is an absolute masterpiece, and I do hope there will be more to come. Hugs to you both...  "My friends are my estate." |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Holy cow! Not too poetic was it? LOL, but this blew me away - it truly did. I agree with Brian - what say you two do at least one a month then I can put together a book of these. This is the kind of poetry I personally could read over and over, and have printed this to do just that. Maree, and Ed, you are naturals together. Awesome! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Bravo...but help? "Vardo"...'splain...can't find it in my more than archaic dictionary...and this inquiring mind truly wants to know.... and yes, you are hereby sentenced to duet at least once a month...'cause it looks good on both of you!  |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
wranx You write like I would like to write. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
http://sca.lib.liv.ac.uk/collections/gypsy/wagons.htm heh...had a little help with "vardo"... |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
wranx - this is one excellent duet. You both blend perfectly. Nice write... BC |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Thank you friends. I was once more blown away by Marees' phrasing and odd little twists. (what a mind!). And of course, when she drops in here, she'll go on about how I carried this piece yadda yadda yadda...Don't you believe it! And it'd be a genuine pleasure to weave with her again... Ed |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
What a gorgeous phantom... and you both know I loved this--and the card reference made me shudder--I hate the ten of swords more than I hate the tower... This GLIDES... so glide back to the top you two. This is awesome. |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Seemless...you two exceed the wildest expectations |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoy your read |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Without shoe or shawl she glides along the grey-green of broken stone her gown covers her, no better than rumor Moonstruck and diaphanous. She's a lost flower within the seed-tasseled grasses that paint dew on her thighs as she lies with him once more mattressed atop the earth of his grave bedding ========================= A yearning shattered by the arms of jealousy Empty talk and the suspicion of a clock that never struck She paints in her dreams Taking up the brush again mixing dark colors to illustrate the wooden sides of the vardo with a tale of love and lust and jealous unreason ============================= And soon enough, the gravitation of odium settled heavy in the wagon pooling thickly on the carpet In the morn, she rouses from her reverie to once again, wake with the sun and finds herself clothed in the red stain of raw clay ===================================== holy moly... this is awesome... You two rock together!!! so many very cool lines in this.. such impressive imagery, personifications and metaphors. And such a unique write as well. her gown covers her, no better than rumor Moonstruck and diaphanous. She's a lost flower within the seed-tasseled grasses that paint dew on her thighs could those lines and images be any poeticall cooler? I dont know who wrote what...and dont need to...but i know you two NEED to write together more often. I'll call Ron... tell him to make it a new law in poetry land LOL VERY impressive groovy guy and gal. "How could I stand here with you and not be moved by you." |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Maree and Ed Fabulous poetry!!!! |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Hello dear friends..thank you all so very much and yes Ed carried this..believe me and it's no yadda yadda yadda hehe. He's amazing.. absolutely.  Ed, thank you m'friend, I could and would love to duet with you over and over. Let's party! all Maree fate is not just |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
 If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried. |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Ed and Maree . . . I must admit - the two of you are the finest poets - especially collaborating . . . just blowing my mind . . . her gown covers her, no better than rumor what an awesome line and La Fortuna . . . an opera as well Beautiful imagery fantasy realistic duality xxoo |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
Bravo! ~Tier |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
 ..because I think this one deserves another trip to the top. "My friends are my estate." |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I was waiting for this... so how did I manage to miss it for so long? *S* I can only think of one other pair of poets that duet so seamlessly together... PLEASE give us more! *S* This is excellent! |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
"Resting her face upon the cold marble she imagines his... They are separated by six feet of earth and the breadth of heaven between fearsome bodies vegetably alone and floating" i still need to read part I but so far this is very rich, and lavish with images and emotions you can almost taste |
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