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Open Poetry #28
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wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

0 posted 2003-08-02 01:59 AM



The nocturne calls softly compelling
rousing her from the feather'd nest
and pulls her dream-waked and barefoot.

Without shoe or shawl she glides along the
grey-green of broken stone
her gown covers her, no better than rumor
Moonstruck and diaphanous.

She's a lost flower within the seed-tasseled
grasses that paint dew on her thighs
as she lies with him once more
mattressed atop the earth of his grave bedding

Resting her face upon the cold marble
she imagines his...

They are separated by six feet of
earth and the breadth of heaven
between fearsome bodies
vegetably alone and floating

Into sleep, back to that night
She drifts to their camp
the caravan
once filled with fulfilling

A yearning
shattered by the arms of jealousy
Empty talk
and the suspicion of a clock that never struck

She paints in her dreams

Taking up the brush again
mixing dark colors to illustrate
the wooden sides of the vardo
with a tale of love and lust and jealous unreason

Already painted, were the panels portraying
the tenuous thread of connectivity
and blushing desire
Now, she needs to paint the meat of the matter

She depicts the chaos
La Fortuna thrown out into the pale of dawn
the ending of a harmony

She was only reading the young mans' cards
He saw only, her weeping concern

How the "Hanged Man" laid face up and shuffled
met his fate
Covered with the "Ten of Swords"
The innocent bore the weight of black rage

Kismet dons his Sable cape

And soon enough, the gravitation of odium
settled heavy in the wagon
pooling thickly on the carpet

In the morn, she rouses from her reverie
to once again, wake with the sun
and finds herself clothed
in the red stain of raw clay

~      ~      ~      ~      ~      ~
You can find Part 1 here   /pip/Forum80/HTML/003034.html

DarkAngel&wranx



[This message has been edited by wranx (08-02-2003 10:33 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 E.F.Rose - All Rights Reserved
brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
1 posted 2003-08-02 03:02 AM


god

you two are butter

I see....
first was him with Maree flavor
second is her with Ed flavor

but both just transcending
any sense of "duet"

just the perfect pair of duets I've seen

this
was
a woven
rug

laying silent on it.....tracing

you two gots to do more
what say?
1 a month?




vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
2 posted 2003-08-02 03:04 AM



I smiled when I saw this posted, because I knew
it was going to be amazing...I was not disappointed.

I am truly in awe of how beautifully you two write together.
I could read your duets all night...and then some...

This is an absolute masterpiece, and I do
hope there will be more to come.

Hugs to you both...

"My friends are my estate."
~Emily Dickinson

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
3 posted 2003-08-02 04:13 AM


Holy cow!   Not too poetic was it?  LOL, but this blew me away - it truly did.  I agree with Brian - what say you two do at least one a month then I can put together a book of these.  This is the kind of poetry I personally could read over and over, and have printed this to do just that.  Maree, and Ed, you are naturals together.  Awesome!
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2003-08-02 07:20 AM



Bravo...but help?  "Vardo"...'splain...can't find it in my more than archaic dictionary...and this inquiring mind truly wants to know....

and yes, you are hereby sentenced to duet at least once a month...'cause it looks good on both of you!  

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
5 posted 2003-08-02 08:33 AM


wranx
You write like I would like to write.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
6 posted 2003-08-02 09:17 AM


http://sca.lib.liv.ac.uk/collections/gypsy/wagons.htm

heh...had a little help with "vardo"...

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
7 posted 2003-08-02 09:30 AM


wranx - this is one excellent duet. You both blend perfectly. Nice write...

BC

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
8 posted 2003-08-02 10:51 AM


Thank you friends. I was once more blown away by Marees' phrasing and odd little twists. (what a mind!).

And of course, when she drops in here, she'll go on about how I carried this piece yadda yadda yadda...Don't you believe it!

And it'd be a genuine pleasure to weave with her again...

Ed

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

9 posted 2003-08-02 01:30 PM


What a gorgeous phantom...

and you both know I loved this--and the card reference made me shudder--I hate the ten of swords more than I hate the tower...

This GLIDES...

so glide back to the top you two.

This is awesome.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
10 posted 2003-08-02 01:59 PM


Seemless...you two exceed the wildest expectations
vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
11 posted 2003-08-02 02:25 PM


enjoy your read
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

12 posted 2003-08-02 05:32 PM


Without shoe or shawl she glides along the
grey-green of broken stone
her gown covers her, no better than rumor
Moonstruck and diaphanous.

She's a lost flower within the seed-tasseled
grasses that paint dew on her thighs
as she lies with him once more
mattressed atop the earth of his grave bedding

=========================

A yearning
shattered by the arms of jealousy
Empty talk
and the suspicion of a clock that never struck

She paints in her dreams

Taking up the brush again
mixing dark colors to illustrate
the wooden sides of the vardo
with a tale of love and lust and jealous unreason

=============================

And soon enough, the gravitation of odium
settled heavy in the wagon
pooling thickly on the carpet

In the morn, she rouses from her reverie
to once again, wake with the sun
and finds herself clothed
in the red stain of raw clay


=====================================


holy moly...
this is awesome...
You two rock together!!!
so many very cool lines in this..
such impressive imagery, personifications and metaphors. And such a unique write as well.


her gown covers her, no better than rumor
Moonstruck and diaphanous.

She's a lost flower within the seed-tasseled
grasses that paint dew on her thighs



could those lines and images be any poeticall cooler?

I dont know who wrote what...and dont need to...but i know you two NEED to write together more often.

I'll call Ron... tell him to make it a new law in poetry land LOL

VERY impressive groovy guy and gal.

"How could I stand here with you and not be moved by you."

LH

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
13 posted 2003-08-02 05:47 PM


Maree and Ed

Fabulous poetry!!!!

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

14 posted 2003-08-02 06:19 PM


Hello dear friends..thank you all so very much and yes Ed carried this..believe me and it's no yadda yadda yadda hehe. He's amazing.. absolutely.

Ed, thank you m'friend, I could and would love to duet with you over and over. Let's party!

all

Maree

fate is not just
whose cooking  smells good
but which way the wind blows

(Ani DiFranco)


Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
15 posted 2003-08-02 10:07 PM


If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
16 posted 2003-08-02 10:15 PM


Ed and Maree . . .
I must admit - the two of you
are the finest poets - especially collaborating . . .
just blowing my mind . . .

her gown covers her, no better than rumor

what an awesome line

and La Fortuna . . . an opera as well

Beautiful imagery fantasy realistic
duality
xxoo

Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
17 posted 2003-08-03 07:10 PM


Bravo!


~Tier

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
18 posted 2003-08-12 11:43 PM



..because I think this one deserves
another trip to the top.

"My friends are my estate."
~Emily Dickinson

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
19 posted 2003-08-13 09:42 AM


I was waiting for this... so how did I manage to miss it for so long? *S*

I can only think of one other pair of poets that duet so seamlessly together... PLEASE give us more! *S* This is excellent!

muted
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Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
20 posted 2004-05-16 01:18 PM


"Resting her face upon the cold marble
she imagines his...

They are separated by six feet of
earth and the breadth of heaven
between fearsome bodies
vegetably alone and floating"

i still need to read part I
but
so far
this is very rich, and lavish with images and emotions you can almost taste

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