Open Poetry #28 |
Mud |
Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Mud (Spenserian Sonnet in iambic tetrameter) He rolled and formed, from spit and dust, his basic sculpture, called it Man. Now we expect the universe to bow and dance at our demand. It’s easy to forget the hands connecting bone and shaping flesh in his own image, from the sand, to share this world in righteousness. Sometimes I wonder why he blessed us with his love, and shed his blood. How easy we forget whose lips breathed spirit into lifeless mud. Perhaps divinity can see some good concealed in you and me. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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© Copyright 2003 Nancy Wilcox - All Rights Reserved | |||
Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
This is just amazing work! I love it. |
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JilGirl Member
since 2003-05-24
Posts 364Washington |
A Spirit write from a spirit in touch with the Spirit! There's MUCH good in the "mud and the breath"! It's there for those who seek to see it! Bravo! And ~ PTL! 'Tiz feathers that make the bird - |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Nan~ This is just a splendid penning~ Oh my ... how rich your thoughts~ Stunning my friend~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
More! Want more of this Pilgrim! Always quality when you lift a pen....always something that's not to be missed. I yearn for your consistency, and the consummate skill with which you create rhymed verse. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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SharaRose Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2501Somewhere out there~ |
So true. He sees something we don't all see. I thank God He sees things different than we do, everyday. SharaRose @-->-- Of sound, and speech let all lift the hearer! |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Fantastic write in a difficult form! Brava! Love this! ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ ~ Summer can't be over... |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Thanks, guys, I appreciate it so much when you reply to my stuff. I'm glad you liked it, it took a lot of work. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
This is a cute bit of poetry. I've always thought it dangerous to mess around with the sonnet's meter length, just because proportion is so important to a sonnet... it's kind of like making a cake with a tablespoon less of every ingredient... you won't end up with less cake but something different entirely... If that makes any sense at all? I guess I say that mostly because I'm on a sonnet binge right now and I can't help reading things with format in mind. I do love the subject matter of this poem, especially the conclusion that though we are mud, there might be something good inside of us... a little bit of hope against the backing of the preceding few quatrains that make us feel kind of bad about ourselves. Yeah, I don't like it either, how people think they're better than their origins... Take care Brian "God becomes as we are that we may be as he is." ~William Blake |
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