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Open Poetry #27
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Patricia
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since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160
Missouri

0 posted 2003-06-14 10:25 PM


The Prophecy, Part I

Her mother's silvered mirror

reveals softer lines than
she has heard

over her years.


Tonight

she pays no mind.
She is past her past,
aware of imperfections
which someday might be his fulfillment,
and she smiles at his reflection,

a ghost,
shining in her eyes

As silver'd mirror becomes

crystal, the ball in which

she begins to prophesize
that first rendezvous.


             Behind lid of closed eye
             imagination takes hold
             a figure forms
             a hand brushes her brow
                 gentleness is almost a scent
                    she takes a shallow breath
                       as she feels him entering her soul

At once she weakens
tears fall silent
she breathes deep, as if to sigh,
his presence envelops her
taking her completely
embracing all she was
as she emerges
whole by this silent
mating of their souls

             This...this is the dream
             and she, she is his recipient,
             while he...he is out there
             tenderly scribing thought,
                  brushing brows with a
                      gentle touch,
                          the scent of him,
                               smelling of
                                    love.


[This message has been edited by Sunshine (06-14-2003 10:59 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Patricia A. Plotz - All Rights Reserved
JilGirl
Member
since 2003-05-24
Posts 364
Washington
1 posted 2003-06-14 10:33 PM


You've touched my heart with ths excellent write.
Emotions, I thought hidden, have emerged.
I needed this!

Thanks!
Blessings!
Shirl

Till oceans cease to flow and deserts lose their sands, may beauty surround you every day and wealth be in your hands.

[This message has been edited by JilGirl (06-14-2003 10:34 PM).]

QjQ
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since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756
U.S.A.
2 posted 2003-06-14 10:33 PM


congrat's to both  very good write!!!

QjQ

Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2003-06-14 10:53 PM


Patricia & Karilea...

This took me away and I am still drifting..
Amazingly beautiful write...
I was going to choose my favourite stanza but
I would have copied the entire piece here.

May we see you two du-et again soon?
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

Magnus
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since 2001-10-10
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South Carolina, USA
4 posted 2003-06-14 11:05 PM


Ok girls/ladies...

Ya gone and done it now...  you are confined
to writing nothing but duets from here to
eternity.  

Beautiful,  I must say...  The lines added
so measurably the feel of mystique,  of
something yet to come...  much enjoyed.

Perhaps he will appear..

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

5 posted 2003-06-14 11:39 PM


You've both taken my breath away...waiting now, for part two.

Maree

passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
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displaced
6 posted 2003-06-15 12:38 PM


wonderful! just fantastic!
Sunshine
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7 posted 2003-06-15 07:38 AM


We have a gem of a poet here, folks.  She's got a gift, has a way with words, and it was my pleasure that she wanted to duet.  All I did was add a couple of lines - it was her imagination and verve that's going to make this a two, three, four or five parter...

I wonder where she's going to take me with this!  

Thank you Patricia, for allowing me to duet with you!

[This message has been edited by Sunshine (06-15-2003 08:49 AM).]

Nan
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since 1999-05-20
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Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
8 posted 2003-06-15 08:52 AM


Very lovely indeed - You two work seamlessly together...
Margherita
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since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
9 posted 2003-06-15 10:04 AM


Very special and touching.
My compliments, I'll be looking for the next part.
Love to both you poets!
Margherita

Mysteria
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since 2001-03-07
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10 posted 2003-06-15 02:22 PM


I admire you both for being able to write so flawlessly that I could not pick out one from the other.  Looking forward to more.
Foxyoasis
Senior Member
since 2003-06-10
Posts 974
Atlantic Beach,Fla
11 posted 2003-06-15 02:31 PM


very beautifully written.

Fool me once shame on you.....Fool me twice shame on me.....


Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
12 posted 2003-06-15 02:58 PM


Patricia and Karilea....Like lace and silk...beautiful words weave your thoughts together.
Ericc
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since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

13 posted 2003-06-15 03:46 PM


Beautiful!!
Eric

Patricia
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since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160
Missouri
14 posted 2003-06-15 04:35 PM


First, I speak for both of us in saying thank you for your wonderful replies.

As for you, Karilea, my dear friend, you know that I am but a mere freshman at Passions School, and you are my teacher.  It is with you and your words that this verse came alive.  Thank you for allowing me to duet with you.  I have grown immensely from the experience, and I am so looking forward to another.  Plus, I just had the best time of my life!!!!

Patricia

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

15 posted 2003-06-15 06:15 PM


‘Tonight

she pays no mind.
She is past her past,
aware of imperfections
which someday might be his fulfillment,
and she smiles at his reflection,

a ghost,
shining in her eyes’

‘This...this is the dream
and she, she is his recipient,
while he...he is out there
tenderly scribing thought,
brushing brows with a
gentle touch,
the scent of him,
smelling of
love.’

Cool...a twofer!!!!     Love the repetition and the haunting tone.  Ya'll done good!

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
16 posted 2003-06-15 11:14 PM


Patricia - you two are great together. What a write with so much meaning in it...

BC

Ratleader
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Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
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Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
17 posted 2003-06-16 12:36 PM


....yes.....he is there.....

Beautifully done, and seamless.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Cpat Hair
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18 posted 2003-06-16 07:16 AM


Very well done... a nice blending of thought and style...and a nice telling...

you two have painted this well and since it says part 1.. I am looking forward to part 2 and others...

Nice job ladies...a very nice job.


Earth Angel
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since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
19 posted 2003-06-16 09:34 AM


Part I, you say?!? Are you implying that there is a Part II?!?---then a Part III? and so on and so on...Oh, please say that that is true!

Ethereal...and I love ethereal!

Huggums to two fine poetesses,
Linda

Sunshine
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Listening to every heart
20 posted 2003-06-17 07:17 AM



Patricia...I enjoyed Part II....

hopefully our friends will, too!

[This message has been edited by Sunshine (06-17-2003 07:18 AM).]

Cpat Hair
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21 posted 2003-06-17 08:12 AM


OK..Sunshine..so you enjoyed it..are the rest of us going to be allowed to enjoy it or is it something you just wanted to tease us with? Huh?

Sunshine
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Listening to every heart
22 posted 2003-06-17 08:39 AM



She threw me some lines, I threw them back...we're honing...refining, gilding them...

just wanted everyone to know, sir....that we keep our promises!  LOL...

Cpat Hair
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since 2001-06-05
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23 posted 2003-06-17 08:46 AM


just wanted everyone to know, sir....that we keep our promises!  LOL...


Implying that some of us don't???

Geez...so it was a teaser line..you aren't ready to deliver but have been watching so many onfomercials late at night felt you needed to put a tease line out there to string us along....


Sunshine
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Listening to every heart
24 posted 2003-06-17 08:54 AM


LOL...not at all!  I'm just excited about Part II...and I wish she'd wake up and get with it!  LOL...

I don't watch infomercials.  Is THAT what they do?  ROTF...

[This message has been edited by Sunshine (06-17-2003 08:55 AM).]

Patricia
Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160
Missouri
25 posted 2003-06-17 09:10 AM


OK, you two...Stop it, right now or I will send you to the principal...Ron! (I am a teacher, CPAT, in my other life.)

I sent over the lines, K.  Did you get them?

Patricia

Cpat Hair
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26 posted 2003-06-17 09:34 AM


LOL... now Patricia.... you go right ahead and send me to the office... I was sent there so much when I went to school I should feel right at home going back... Of course there was that time.... oh well that is another story...and it ended well enough... just cost me a three day suspension... lmao

I do seem to have such an issue with being told to behave and authority in general...LOL...

:P

Patricia
Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160
Missouri
27 posted 2003-06-17 10:59 AM


Tell me a story, Ron. You could make even a trip to the principal's office a wonderful journey.

Oh Sorcerer...tell me a story.

Patricia

Janet Marie
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since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

28 posted 2003-06-17 11:56 AM





             Behind lid of closed eye
             imagination takes hold
             a figure forms
             a hand brushes her brow
                 gentleness is almost a scent
                    she takes a shallow breath
                       as she feels him entering her soul

At once she weakens
tears fall silent
she breathes deep, as if to sigh,
his presence envelops her
taking her completely
embracing all she was
as she emerges
whole by this silent
mating of their souls
==============================


the moth is late and playing catch up...
but before I head to part 2 I wanted to tell you both how very lovely this is and that your styles blend together like sky and clouds..yes..this begs to be a series of hopefully many to come..
me thinks you wont have a choice with Ron the slave drive nipping at your pens LOL
Wonderful writing ladies.

Im still imagining your voice ...
can see the sparkle in your eyes.
I cant explain your power over me
Its understated understood & beautiful.
cj

Sunshine
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29 posted 2003-06-17 12:09 PM


Patricia, you've got to love it
when the moth lands on us....

She tickles!

Patricia
Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160
Missouri
30 posted 2003-06-17 12:23 PM


Thank you, Janet Marie...creature of light.  Your words lighten my heart this morning.

So glad you enjoyed your landing.

Patricia

Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
31 posted 2003-06-17 01:16 PM


love it

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

Larry C
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Posts 10286
United States
32 posted 2003-06-19 12:27 PM


Karilea & Patricia,
I'm so glad I waited to read as this has left me longing for more...

Just wonderfully done.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

garysgirl
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33 posted 2003-06-19 01:09 AM


Yeah, what Larry said. And this ending is
absolutely stunning....

This...this is the dream
             and she, she is his recipient,
             while he...he is out there
             tenderly scribing thought,
                  brushing brows with a
                      gentle touch,
                          the scent of him,
                               smelling of
                                    love.


Now, to part II


passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
34 posted 2003-06-19 01:44 PM



SEA
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with you
35 posted 2003-06-19 04:03 PM


"             This...this is the dream
             and she, she is his recipient,
             while he...he is out there
             tenderly scribing thought,
                  brushing brows with a
                      gentle touch,
                          the scent of him,
                               smelling of
                                    love."

seriously love this....

Larry C
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Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
36 posted 2003-06-19 10:22 PM


So as the number one fan of this series I am offering the following links in order to expedite even more responses.
Prophecy - Part 2

Prophecy - Part 3

Prophecy - Part 4

Prophecy - Part 5

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
37 posted 2008-02-25 06:40 PM


Loved the presentation!



ARCTIC WIND

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