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Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

0 posted 2003-01-10 02:14 PM

How do you cope with fear?

Lately it's been bothering me a lot.  It seems like I can't look forward at my life without seeing the inevitable downfall of everything I attain.  It's the fear of death that comes along with the knowledge that all good things must come to an end.  Know what I mean?  It's hard to be future-minded when the future is such a bleak place.

And saying, only look forward on the life you will have, not the death you will have... almost makes me feel deluded for putting a stop sign on where I should and shouldn't look forward.  How do you all cope with this fear?

The one thing I have found so far is trying to make an impact on future lives while I am alive, in order to give my life more meaning, so that when I die it doesn't all fall apart.  Maybe I will have children or something.

Does anyone else ever feel the need to combat this fear of the future?  Or is it healthier to simply not think of it?

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

1 posted 2003-01-10 02:52 PM

to paraphrase " yesterday is gone, tomorrow not here, we can only live in today."
Fear is a problem for us all or most all of us I think. We fear getting old, or being alone, of not measuring up, of failing in any of a number of ways. Coping with fear constructively requires that we understand what it is we are afraid of it and why we are afraid of it. Some fears we will always have and some we may never completely control Fear in and of itself is not a bad thing. Excessive fear can be or a total lack of fear can be. I think the more we understand and know about ourselves and the reasons why we harbor fears the easier it is to see those things as less scary.

Just my two cents worht of ramble...and probably not much help... sorry..

Miah
Senior Member

since 2002-08-26

Posts 1062
Pennsylvania

2 posted 2003-01-10 03:09 PM

We fear what we do not know or understand. Worring about it gets us nowhere. I think we all worry about the future and death sometime in our lives, I know I have.  I think the thing to do is just go on with you life, live each day at a time.  Live the life you were given the best way you can, worry about tomorrow when tomorrow comes.

Why is the future bleak? I think tomorrow holds a lot of promise, if you choose to take on life's challenges.

Who said death was an end? because it's unknown? or you don't understand it? worring about death is a waste of life.  Sometimes the end of one thing is a beginning  of another.

I use to worry as well as to how I could help others and give soemthing back.  I think that by helping yourself is the first step in being able to help others.  Sometimes the smallest thing a person can do for another can make the biggest impact on them.

To sum it all up, don't worry about what you can't change, but work on what you can the best way you know how.

[This message has been edited by Miah (01-10-2003 03:14 PM).]

LoveBug

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-01-08

Posts 4697

3 posted 2003-01-10 03:17 PM

The future excites me! Most of my life is ahead of me, and I have the power to shape a portion of it. I love that thought!

Brian, it's more than likely that you have a good 60 years more to live your life... think of the things you can do. Thats what I do, and you have a greater storage of talent than I do, and more oppurtunities as well. I would have loved to have started in a big city... but anyway, the best is yet to come. As for death, don't be afraid of him. To you it's just the end of existing, right? By the time you're 80, you'll be tired of existing anyway. As you approach it, the fear will leave you, I think.

Stop worrying. We're still young..

Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you.--Jesus Christ

[This message has been edited by LoveBug (01-10-2003 03:17 PM).]

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

4 posted 2003-01-10 10:47 PM

I'd love to give you some insight into this, Brian, but in all honesty I wouldn't know the first place to begin. We're all going to die, we're all afraid of something...Just do what I do to cope with it all.

Actually...don't. Smile.

Don't steal - the Government hates competition.

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

5 posted 2003-01-10 11:09 PM

Shine a light on your fear! If you're afraid of dying, get some knowledge of 'life after'..whatever religion you feel necessary to research.

If you're afraid you won't make a big difference in the world, find out small ways to make small differences.

Whether you appreciate this or not, you HAVE made a difference here. You have helped a lot of people already.

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

6 posted 2003-01-11 01:08 AM

I just don't think about it

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

7 posted 2003-01-11 02:12 PM

Lately it's been bothering me a lot. It seems like I can't look forward at my life without seeing the inevitable downfall of everything I attain. It's the fear of death that comes along with the knowledge that all good things must come to an end. Know what I mean? It's hard to be future-minded when the future is such a bleak place.
========================================

Brian? I'm curious as to what makes someone so young so concerned with dying? I dont even think about it now and I'm 44.
I think you are just too smart for you're own good

and like several before you, your generation has had to grow up way too fast in this world. Maybe its your innate personality to over analyze everything...or maybe its like some of my problem...due to my childhood, I tend to see the dark or negative before the positive...
You know that old saying "she'd rather complain about the dark than turn on a light" or the proverbial "misery loves company" ... anyway...my point here is...
I hope you can explore and resolve these feelings so that you can get rid of the baggage...dont carry it around for years like I have...you're far too young and gifted to need be worring about something so far off, that you or any of us really cant control...you've got time groovy guy--you've not even scratched the surface yet....

"The woods (like you) are lovely, dark and deep...
and (you've) miles to go before you sleep"

(my apologies to Mr Frost)

look into your own light Brian...you shine.

It's over long before her fall from grace, she's never been this far from safe.
Trying to see where it all began, she'll never be the same again.

[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (01-11-2003 02:13 PM).]

Barbara Trautman
Member

since 2002-10-23

Posts 90

8 posted 2003-01-11 07:05 PM

So deep. So dark. So young. Youth has more problems than age simply because they have so little experience to cope with them. I suppose most of us have felt as deep down as you are feeling right now but each of us deals with it in our own way. My way was simply to stumble through each day as well as I could hoping that tomorrow would be better. Try writing even more for us to read. It is amazing how much pain can be left behind a pen. I wish the very best and I wish I could be there to give you a hug. B.

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

9 posted 2003-01-20 03:35 AM

One night, morning really; I'd been up all night, I was pretty much, ok completely, at a fearing stage, and focusing on all I was going through. I called a friend, though it was two AM, I wouldn't have made it without him.
What he said stung a bit; fear is the exact opposite of faith.

Right now in my life, I live by the minute, and I do mean that literally. I live by each breath that is consumed in pain. But, by surviving, I've been there for many others who needed not just someone, but me, there, with them.

to make an impact you don't need to do huge things. Its fake when you buy someone a 100 dollar gift so they'll love you.. whats real is when that old lady drops her dirty ol' hanky and needs someone to pick it up

What I'm saying is, keep faith; live without ignorance, but yet by the moment; And you have and are making a difference, do the meaningful small stuff

Hang on, best wishes and true prayers for you.

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
(blink, breathe, stand, fight)

winston
Member

since 2002-12-19

Posts 204
NW of Eden

10 posted 2003-01-20 04:08 PM

It's all in the interpretation pally.

You know T.S. Eliot (or some other poet) said something confusing about past, present, and future. Future need not be bleak Local Parasite, unless, of course, we all be bent on making it so. That's my humble opinion. Hope you don't mind me saying it.
As president Roosevelt once said (or was it Bill Clinton? ) you have nothing to fear but fear itself. High school was the worst time for me. It's when I thought that I might fail miserably in all that am doing.
Thanks.
Here's to your future!

It's amazing I won. I was running against peace, prosperity, & incumbency.
--G. "DUBYA" BUSH. June 14, 2001. Unaware of rolling TV camera.

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

11 posted 2003-01-20 04:58 PM

Why fear the inevitable? Built into the definition of mortality is the fact that it must end. I've tackled that thought myself by writing poems about in-between times and transition points. You can find a lot of beauty in the subtlety between things beginning and things ending.

Think about the future, but live in the present. And as for the past -- learn from it, but don't live in it. Nostalgia is just a slower way to the grave.

Paul Wilson

Member Elite

since 2002-07-07

Posts 4711
United States

12 posted 2003-01-20 10:27 PM

To me FEAR is something you feel when looking at something, like an un-avoidable automobile accident, or an act which you have no control over, like being shot or attacked by a bad dog.

Fear should not be felt for something that can't be seen or touched, like I fear being burned to death in a fire, but it doesn't bother me because it is only in my mind, it's not actually happening.If it ever happens, then I will feel fear.

Ask yourself this question: Why feel fear about something that hasen't happened?
Don't be paranoid, live life to the fullest and put fear in it's place.

"To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you"

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

13 posted 2003-01-21 12:19 PM

This is something I just wrote a poem about, in a off-connected way. I don't even know if that's a phrase, actually. Can't think of the one I'm looking for.

[ /pip/Forum73/HTML/001447.html ]

I've never had a fear of death, that I can remember. I fear pain, and not being able to handle it. It's part of what fuels me, wanting to know what I can handle, pushing myself further and further, mentally and physically. And, normally, I wouldn't mind death, not only because I'm not that attached to this life, but as a Christian, I believe in an afterlife, in eternity. Lately, though, life has finally (seemingly) begun, and while I still don't fear death, I want to conquer before I take my leave from this dreary place.

~Titus

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
--Aldous Huxley

[This message has been edited by PoetryIsLife (01-21-2003 12:20 AM).]

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