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Into This House, A Loss Has Come
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Into This House, A Loss Has Come |
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Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669Michigan, US 
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This house is darker now, as candles burn past molten quick, |
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| © Copyright 2003 Ron Carnell - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Crazy Eddie Member
since 2002-09-14
Posts 178 |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
oh my... you penned what I feel... the kind of thing I won't let myself say I feel, anymore. Very amazing write.. fel honored to see it and even more so to vote. *trying not to cry* ..should have warned us to get a tissue. Always, Alyssa - And so it was that time stood still - |
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garysgirl  
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Ron, I'm speechless, but voting. |
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Crazy Eddie Member
since 2002-09-14
Posts 178 |
The smile was for the fact that you’ve finally got around to posting a submission. The vote was for the fact that the book wouldn’t be complete without a poem from the person who put it all together. This second reply is just to say that I enjoyed the poem, it was well thought out, well constructed and well written. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Anyone who has lost a loved one will be able to relate to this. Everything about it is perfect - emotion, meter rhyme. I too am voting for it.  |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Oh Ron ... this piece touched this tender lovin' heart this morning. I too have known this emptiness you've described so eloquently. Beautifully written ... I've got some misty eyes and goosebumps as I type my reply to you from this end.  Best wishes and hugs, /Kit |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Oh my, this speaks of the emptiness and pain that I have felt with many and I am sure so many more will feel in days to come. I send my understanding, and acknowledge what a fantastically written poem this is on loss as well. |
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SPIRIT Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745California Desert |
I'm crying and I'm voting. |
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
I really don't know what to say, as tears stream down my face. Sometimes we have to follow a stronger voice, even if it's silent. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
This blue screen breathes of purest passion and compassion with this post. Ron, this is one of the most beautiful pieces that I've ever read, and I'm not just saying this because YOU posted it. This poetry lives and breathes the essence of unconditional LOVE. May ripples of LOVE |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
I forgot to add this to my library ..not that I want to cry every time I go to my library... or maybe I do.. *sigh* Always, Alyssa |
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Red Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 143Ca |
wow |
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Lighthousebob Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725California |
Ron, You capture the feelings of missing very well as your poem touches and harnesses our senses to every squeak and dying ember in the empty house and then you leave us thankful for the times once shared and those times of which continue to be shared through your dreams. A wonderful poem, filled with sentiment, longing, and promise and most deserving, I think, of inclusion in our anthology. Great job!!! -Bob whoops... had to come back to vote. [This message has been edited by Lighthousebob (03-22-2003 01:07 PM).] |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Ron, I too, have felt such a loss, and in the still of the night, the loneliness has pervaded my very soul. I have not been able to write of that pain, but the held-back tears are now silently sliding down my cheeks as I read your words... .....I am feeling much better now! The endorphins are kicking in! Thanks! I needed that! ---and I'm thrilled that this eloquent piece of writing will be published in Reflections! We're definitely voting this one right into the book! Peace & Love, Linda [This message has been edited by Earth Angel (03-22-2003 02:20 PM).] |
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skyshine
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058Beneath the northern stars |
You got my vote Ron. Memories are wonderful.  ~Liz Waited on a line of greens and blues, just to be the next to be with you.. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
I know this feeling all too well.. Extremely well done poet sir. ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
A vote for this write...these feelings...this woman. And a hope that the new book will have a dedication to her. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
A smile and a hug... a hug and a smile... and another hug... |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Ron~ 'Your touch upon my shoulder is a phantom of my mind, I will not turn, I cannot turn, for fear of what I'll find. The squeeze lasts but a moment more, and then, like you, is quit, With just enough of gentle strength that I'll remember it.' Printed and hanging on my remember wall~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Fantastic,Ron. Glad to see you put something in the book. This has a strong, heart touching feel. Sandra |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big huggggsssssss) God Bless You, sweet friend, I am delighted you have submitted as I wanted to say how this touched me so as I know it would for all who inevitably cope with a loss at some point! (wipes tears) My heart goes out to you as you truly are a wonderfully loviung and compassionate person and you write of the truth of these feelings we ever feel so much and this poem is truly remedy to the heart and soul! God Bless You, sweet friend, you most graciously have my proud vote, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ron, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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SimplyGold Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453 |
Ron, This is most touching, the pain lays upon the paper for me to see. It helps to touch it, feel it and be able to put it down to rest. You have expressed this emptyness too well! Excellent. SG |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
"How much darker, colder, silent, would my house forever be Had I not known your name at least just momentarily?" Some people have the natural ability to light up a place, a heart, and their presence is a source of joy and strength. Her loss is tangible as you pen expressively. Hugs, Chanson When you think you have heard it all, listen more closely. ~Dorene |
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Miah Senior Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 1062Pennsylvania |
This is a wonderful poem. One I will keep in my favorites forever. |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
quote: This is really amazing.... Lauren~ I close my eyes and there in the shadows I see your light |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
'This missing you remains a quiet, ever-spreading ache, A hole that, still unfilled, fills every hour I'm awake. How can something not really here, by dint of being gone, Bring such an empty pain into my house from dusk to dawn?' I thought of Lyra when I read the title and the poem brought back many memories from many homes. Beautiful poem Ron. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
This poem is simply beautiful and amazing and so are you Ron Maree |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Ron...I don't have the words right now, but I have hugs and understanding...LOTS of hugs.  "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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Jason Lyle Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438With my darkling |
wow, a nice rhyme, how cheesy, an understatement, I found myself reading the first time, rhyming the second, and counting syllables the third. Nice job on three counts Jason |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ron...Beautiful and spoken from the heart. Touched so many feelings that I know and understand. |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Ron - this writing is to touching to even comment about. I can't find the words to do it justice, except I can vote for it to be included in the book... BC |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
"The loss you left behind, the emptiness I'm going through, Exist today only because they once were filled with you. I close my eyes, brush tears on cotton, knowing it's all right. My memories will be enough to fill my dreams tonight." It's a pity that you're so busy... your poetry is so beautiful and emotional, the kind that I love. I'd love to read you more. This is such a wonderful choice for our book, Ron. It's also going in my library.. it has a lot of meanings for me right now. Thank you so much for everything. Oh, make me Thine forever |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
I forgot the button, silly me... Oh, make me Thine forever |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
Ron, This really tuggs at my heart. It is a beautiful and touching poem..... I'm all teary-eyed now but, it was worth it. HUGS, Bridgette P.S. I'm voting and putting this in my library too!!!!! "Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
It appears this poem has launched more tears than Robert Burns' Ode to an Onion!  On a serious note, it is indeed an excellent poem, both in substance and form. Excellent work, Ron.. |
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Trillium
since 2001-03-09
Posts 12098Idaho, USA |
Ron: A really impressive poem, which I voted for. Very moving and well written. Betty Lou Hebert |
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WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
The loss you left behind, the emptiness I'm going through, Exist today only because they once were filled with you. I close my eyes, brush tears on cotton, knowing it's all right. My memories will be enough to fill my dreams tonight. This is sad, yet lovely. Enjoyed the feel of this. |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Ron, My experience tells me you have experience on this topic too. But this keeper puts words to many unexpressed thoughts! Such an incredibly meaningful write. It fits the inspiration of this book so well and touches my heart deeply. I'm voting twice. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
...shame on me. sometimes I forget that I didn't invent grief... |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
Crying, just because you translated so much feelings from deep inside. yes I think many can relate on your words, thank you for sharing Ron (((hugs))) Charisma |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
Ron, i like the way you varied the memories line to suit the context in each stanza...thought that was pretty creative |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Thank you, Sir... |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Ron - you have captured the longing and emptiness of one's heart in loss so well, I have a lump in my throat. This certainly gets my vote. thankyou. Chris "Hope" is the thing with feathers- |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
I like the irony of the title... that she was never in your house, but her loss enters your house so tangibly. "A loss has come." I couldn't help smiling at the cleverness of those four words. As for the whole poem, I love your use of repetition, especially how you altered each line just enough to make it distinct, and still stick with the theme. The result is a flowing, light and easy read, appropriate to one whose underlying sentiments are the focus of the poem. It is a sad situation. Loss of that not tangible can itself be tangible. I've felt this myself, so at least a little, I understand... Lovely tribute, Ron. And of course I'm voting. Parasite "Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true. |
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Alicethruglass Member
since 2001-06-19
Posts 368 |
I close my eyes, brush tears on cotton, knowing it's all right. My memories will be enough to fill my dreams tonight. I love those lines. A very touching and tender writing, Ron. I could feel the warmth. *s Maureen |
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NewEnglandlazurlu Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470A Mountain Paradise |
Ron, I am so thrilled to see one of your wonderfully written poems. The loss of a loved one is always so difficult and leaves a void that can never be replaced. You captured this loss incredibly. Hugs, Marti Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts. A.Einstein |
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DawnG
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494United States |
Ron, Thank you for sharing what is such an emotion that all of us are or have been dealt in life. This is an awesome write and I'm very happy you have chosen to put this in our book. Dawn |
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El_Campeador Senior Member
since 2003-01-29
Posts 761Ohio, USA |
You already have 48 replys and about as many votes, but I am going to throw my vote in as well... “We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best that we can find in our travels is an honest friend.” –Robert Louis Stevenson |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
How much darker, colder, silent, would my house forever be Had I not known your name at least just momentarily? Such an eloquent expression of emotions that so many of us know intimately... but could never have depicted so beautifully. |
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rodger_jr Junior Member
since 2000-05-16
Posts 37Glen Hope, PA |
How could one reply to this piece and not vote? Beautiful, haunting, touching and sincere...oh, and by the way, I loved it |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Laughing...I guess you get two votes from me Ron as I voted under Rodger's name by mistake. The downfalls of two people sharing the same computer Loved it anyway!! |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
"I close my eyes, brush tears on cotton, knowing it's all right. My memories will be enough to fill my dreams tonight." My God, do I know that feeling! Great write Ron, hope to see more from you. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Ron, I can relate to every word...*wiping tears* |
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Street Heart Member
since 2002-09-05
Posts 349Pennsylvania,USA |
God,Ron,if you only knew...If this is real for you,I can only say that I hope you have found at least some healing for this.You write so strongly,so directly and eloquently from your Heart here.No need to say you have my vote for this.Painfully beautiful. Peace,Geoffrey If a man has not discovered something he is willing to die for,his life is not worth living. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
This missing you remains a quiet, ever-spreading ache, A hole that, still unfilled, fills every hour I'm awake. How can something not really here, by dint of being gone, Bring such an empty pain into my house from dusk to dawn? ====================================== Tis a rare treat that we get to read you... as always we learn from the wise wiz achingly beautiful heart on sleeve write poet sir. "and when we get to the pearly gates ... |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
A warm breath in a haunted state of being. Death and life. Speechless. |
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waldopepper Member
since 2003-03-18
Posts 157Tennessee, USA |
A very polished and effortless flow. Your attention to rhyme and meter enhances the allure of your solid story. I thoroughly enjoyed my way through it. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Exceptional work.... very touching... Regards, Sudhir |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
The haunting refrain repeats throughout, and cycles through the stages of grief: shock, disallusion, disbelief, anger, sadness, acceptance. The quatrians, by their brevity, impose a breathless quality, as if the speaker is struggling to maintain composure through ragged inhalations, and speaks so eloquently, without maudlin verbiage, of the loss of a loved one. You indeed have my vote, good Sir. I just hope you don't forget to send in your publishing agreement.  |
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Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
wow. "Wie ein Quadrat in einem Kreis, eck' ich immer wieder an obwohl ich doch schon lange weiß, daß ich niemals ändern kann." ~Wizo |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Ron... I will not try to describe what we all too often have felt in our lives. You have done this for all of us. Just know that I truly enjoyed reading this and felt the sadness within...Paul "To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you" |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
A precious read... Smiles2uPoetFriendRon *~coco~* |
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BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919New York, USA |
So very beautiful Ron ~ now I know why I found my way back to these blue boards ~ to find poetry like this and feel the words. I don't have the words to do justice ~ simply in awe. Bonnie |
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Magicmystery Senior Member
since 2002-02-13
Posts 821Windsor, Ontario, Canada |
I am in awe. I have felt this kind of missing too. I remembered each of them as I read these well penned lines. Sad and beautiful. Sherry Cherish the good memories of the past and look forward to the adventure called Tomorrow. But above all... be kind to yourself today. |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Ron, Simply incredible! Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Angel Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551Pennsylvania |
Wow. |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
You know I could not finish this the first time as smoldering memories started to set my mind on fire, as I tried so desperately to choke back tears that had been trying to escape for far too long. I came back again and got this far: Your touch upon my shoulder is a phantom of my mind, I will not turn, I cannot turn, for fear of what I'll find. The squeeze lasts but a moment more, and then, like you, is quit, With just enough of gentle strength that I'll remember it. I left again. Tonight I actually made it to the end as I guess I will many more nights to come, with so many others that will read it and know they are not alone in their memories. I thank you for this poem for it opens up the door to a brighter tomorrow actually. Need I say it is well done? |
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA |
Hard to say "I know how you feel" cause one can never truly know... but I empathize and feel my own sweet, bittersweet, loss. Well done my friend. Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn. |
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Suetang Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187Melbourne, Australia |
Hello Ron This was simply outstanding and so much enjoyed. Take care......Sue I am in motion |
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pjtalty Member
since 2002-07-17
Posts 111W.A., Australia |
This is a very beautiful poetic expression of your feelings while in the grip of grief for the loss of a loved one. The very nature of the theme is so deep that many who essay to express grief in this way assuage it, but spoil the quality of the end result through an excess of sentimentality. I am quite sincere when I say that, in my opinion, you have written a poem that produced a tone of deep sadness, so evocative as to bring the reader into a sharing of the grief with you. That is the hallmark of a poem that has escaped the flaw of triteness. Thanks for sharing it. I look forward to reading it in the anthology. Patrick Talty |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Ron: I just fell upon this one and KNOW this feeling - I KNOW this so well that I fell upon it . . . Amazing . . . xxoo |
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Rick Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903Victoria, Australia |
Ron, this is a wonderful write, I really enjoyed each word till its end. Very sad, made me feel much alone when the house is empty, joy will take the sadness or days will turn to madness. Heart felt. Sincerely Rick |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
I'm bumping this one for a friend or two or three or more .... and maybe for myself right now as again I reflect at the remembering wall~ Beautifully poignant~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
this link was sent to me by our dear Marge, for she knew I needed to read this....thank you Ron, for writing it... |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
 Just cause today is another remembering day~ Ron ... this is a timeless classic~ Thank you~ ~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~ |
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Drauntz Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905Los Angeles California |
you write so beautifully. a great poem. few can write like you in this site. no wonder and poem site. you are such a good poet. so beautiful a heart song |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
All this, and he writes too. amazing... |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Bookmarked |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Every time I open my book, I linger on this poem and let the tears flow. Why did I think I could read it again here without sending kleenex stock soaring? *sigh* It gets more beautiful with every read... more meaningful with every loss. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
As I read the replies and see the names of those no longer with us, absent by either death, choice, or circumstance I find the title even more appropriate. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
< Feels like whispering in here. I agree with Mike. I'm not able to be here as much as I'd like but there are still poems that beg to be read again and again. |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I had the same feelings as Mike, when I chanced upon Suthern replying here once again...I am missing so many of my poet friends. M |
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