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Love among the storm
| Open Poetry #21 |
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Love among the storm |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
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I cannot feel yr kiss in the rage of this rain. Cannot touch your face through sky water's curtain. Almost a ghost to me, impermanence, grace. I cannot feel yr kiss in the rage of this rain. I cannot find your eyes through the wind of your hair. Cannot find their warmth in the red of this storm. Almost broken down to ice and dead stone. I cannot find your eyes through the wind of your hair. I cannot fill your hands in this pressure of heat. Cannot fall fast enough to reach you below. Almost tornadic, a spell of dirt, leaves. I cannot fill your hands in this pressure of heat. I cannot sing to you above the calm of this storm. Cannot follow the trace and curve of your hold. Almost scared of the quiet, for what it might see. I cannot sing to you above the calm of this storm. I am fragile in the spread of her sea. I am her. You are me. She said burn ... together. |
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the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
Awesome words were just spoken. Cold hands means a warm heart |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
 That's very cool of you to say. Thanks, t_l_23.She said burn ... together. |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
I love your writing Mr.Squirrel and I love storms.... That makes this poem, one of my favorites. It seems that the rodents on this website must be somehow attracted to wet weather... I wonder why. I think its probably because Piptalk affords us a nice safe place to be, during a raging storm.  ~ stormy hugs to another rodentpoetLyra |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thanks, Lyra. One of my favorite songs is "I'm Only Happy When It Rains" by Garbage. Ooo, me so dark and shivery! And how do y' hug by takin' off a hat? Oh, I get it! The rodent way! s backMikey She said burn ... together. |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
stormin'& warmin' combo of thrills bsquirrel payin' them piptalkin bills goodness! good BS. I never aimed at reality; I aimed at truth. --Orson Welles |
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Anvrill Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710in the interzone now |
Mm, I love you. You can get lost in my storm anyday. Yr poetry is just so ..... can I find any word other than yummy? Hm... Apparently not today. Love you, my sea-tossed squirrely-boy. written in blood before everything went black |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Baby. Y' have forever confirmed and sealed yr cuteness status by even imagining the phrase "sea-tossed squirrely boy."I love you. And yr storms. Um ... I'll stop before I get this post deleted for decency. I love you.She said burn ... together. |
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Anvrill Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710in the interzone now |
Grr. I hate it when I damn myself. ... Oh, I love you too. written in blood before everything went black |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Mike You play the storm in words, well! |
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Neeraja Senior Member
since 2002-06-22
Posts 812The Netherlands |
I enjoyed this poem!! Very well written!!! Neeraja  |
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Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
it was wonderful riding out these storms - you write so well about the storm - is it a rodenteye view??? I enjoyed this poem very much - thanks Paul |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thanks, bs, M, N, and G (or P). Yr all great, fun poets!She said burn ... together. |
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WhileIWasGone Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 486 |
Beautiful... DeaDiAmore |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Why, thank you, DD! She said burn ... together. |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
I believe you just found a way to make the storms at sea become more powerful yet with a more gentle touch. I truely enjoyed this one much. I especially liked the way each verse begins and ends with the same line. Is there a special name for this style or is it just something you were playing with? Either way, I found it a treat to these eyes. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thanks, Mark. I'm sure I didn't invent this style, but if it does exist, I don't know what the name is. It has kinda villanelle-ish elements, but simplified. Oh well, form shmorm. Glad y' enjoyed. She said burn ... together. |
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Dragon Mistress Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 289Washington, USA. |
Awesome poem. Loved it. As I do all of your others. Thanks for giving me the link to read it. Was it a good thing that mine reminded you or this one?? Just wondering! -Tanya ~*~I'm only a dreamer, with broken dreams, and only words to fall back on~*~ |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Of course it's good, Tanya! I love seeing how different poets attack the same subjects.Mike |
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Dragon Mistress Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 289Washington, USA. |
Yay! It is quite interesting to see just how people write about the same, or similar subjects! Kinda nifty to see what turns out! -Tanya ~*~I'm only a dreamer, with broken dreams, and only words to fall back on~*~ |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
How...did I miss this? Thank you! |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
always love your way |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
I thank thee both. |
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