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Open Poetry #20
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a river's want (midsummer rain challenge)
| Open Poetry #20 |
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a river's want (midsummer rain challenge) |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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mid-summer rain whispered urge pummeled pain in need of purge liquefy in heat of spring pool to form a river's want eroding Earth to etch the path down the mass of mountain's might through valleys joined by rivulet across a plain and round again-- sky gods smile at snake's contempt... put desire to her grave..." I lost her in the waves. [This message has been edited by serenity (06-04-2002 11:52 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
pool to form a river's want eroding Earth to etch the path down the mass of mountain's might through valleys joined by rivulet across a plain and round again sky gods smile at snake's compell... "Guide me to an ocean Put desire to her grave..." "Guide me to an ocean" I lost her in the waves ======================== guide me too? ( or send the vials)  lollove this me twin... metaphor and longing...imagery and inspire... you are poetry baby.  Cant stand up for fallin apart |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Me saw it in that other forum - love it...jwesley.. |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
I love it  |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Serenity~ Nicely done, poetess~ *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggsssssss) Oh Karen, I can feel such yearning in this powerful words, sweet freidn, I hope everything is alright and now you have found your place in the sun! (sigh) The repetition in this poem is excellent, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Karen, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
....Beautiful!!.... |
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MidnightSon Member
since 2002-05-15
Posts 312between the gutter & the stars |
ocean's are synonymous with new beginnings i guess, because your beautiful response to this challenge has a similar theme to mine... i love the journey you give the the water, travelling such a lush landscape... and i like the line about the sky gods smiling at the snake.... "The soul is oftentimes a battlefield where reason and judgement wage war on passion and appetite." |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
your words often erode the earth and etch a path.....this one does |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Wonderful! |
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Cirrus Member
since 2002-05-12
Posts 55 |
Beautiful! [This message has been edited by Cirrus (06-03-2002 11:47 PM).] |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Thanks to all...this was like a summer's reprieve to me...a bit of writer's block interuppted by a midsummer's rain...thank you lovie..and thank you, ALL!!!! |
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MIdsummerRain Member
since 2002-05-19
Posts 175St. Louis, Missouri |
"...Sugar coated mountain tops liquefy in heat of spring pool to form a river's want eroding Earth to etch the path down the mass of mountain's might through valleys joined by rivulet across a plain and round again sky gods smile at snake's compell..." What stunning imagery, I couldnt keep up, I got lost in the splender of such a wonderful write! With Admiration ~Rayne For in much wisdom is much grief |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Thank you, Rayne... I've been waiting up for you...smile. I loved this challenge and wanted to thank you...I have been thinking much about the employ of form and free verse poetry, and this was sort of a catalyst for me to mix it up. Not an original idea, but something difficult for ME. I liked the repetition of "guide me to an ocean" as I wanted to portray yearning as "waves" crashing on the shore, and on ourselves, and the irony of wishing for an ocean, while waves wash over us...so I thank you much! You have lovely inner thought.... I loved this.."guide me to an ocean"--doesn't that just sound like the voice of a wave? thanks again [This message has been edited by serenity (06-04-2002 11:47 AM).] |
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Mon Cherie
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922Land of Never-ending Summers |
Karen, I'm not trying to be nice... I really LOVE it!!!!! It's so beautifully written! _,,,^.^,,,_ |
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