She said my voice is sand - pipTalk Forums

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bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

0 posted 2002-05-21 06:50 PM

She said my voice is sand.
She likes to spread her fingers through --
runnels making tunnels,
turrets for a construct castle.

The sea comes quick as tide --
salt flavor these pooling words.
Seashell marks of periods
where I just stare at sky.

She said my voice is sand --
I offer up my bucketfuls.
Shovel wait. The cool of hand.
Pail handle broke again.

The sun makes studied reach
of light upon this verse of beach.
Birds traversing stretch of sea.
Some gold yet to be panned from me?

She calls me the sandman.
A fragrant call of loamy dreams.
I taste the stony land.
Watch dust spill out from the seams.

She said burn ... together.
-TON

[This message has been edited by bsquirrel (05-21-2002 07:40 PM).]

Marsha

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-10

Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England

1 posted 2002-05-21 07:41 PM

Mike darling boy Oh WOW when YOU write you really write, this is utterly utterly fabulous. This is so incredibly outstanding I love it love it love it,
Absolutely perfect poetry, I’ve read fabulous pieces from you before this is simply stunning. Truly you’ve outdone yourself darling heart.

Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

Breathe through the heat of our desire
Thy coolness and they balm
Let sense be dumb let flesh retire
Speak through the eathquake wind and fire
Oh

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

2 posted 2002-05-21 08:23 PM

Danke, Mushy.

Much appreciated.

She said burn ... together.
-TON

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-05

Posts 8296
Michigan

3 posted 2002-05-21 08:41 PM

Mr.Squirrel, you did a terrific job with this imagery...

She said my voice is sand --
I offer up my bucketfuls.
Shovel wait. The cool of hand.
Pail handle broke again.

It brought the scene right into my head!

and...it was a great idea for a poem, but I don't think I have ever seen a squirrel on the beach. I've seen you guys in parks and woods and around houses, but never on a beach.....I guess I didn't look closely enough

~furry rodent hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled" Gwendolyn Brooks

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

4 posted 2002-05-21 08:43 PM

Well this begs the question...what else does she call you? Can't wait to see that poetry...

BSQ, you've been writing some exceptional poetry lately...and I have been enjoying it very much...

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

5 posted 2002-05-21 08:54 PM

Lyra, it's a secret covert rodent operation to increase visibility of squirrels by "situating" them on beaches. Didn't you get the memo?

By the way, I've never understood why people say "secret covert." Isn't that redundant?

Karilea, thanks! I've been enjoyin' yr verses, too.

She said burn ... together.
-TON

rwood
Member Elite

since 2000-02-29

Posts 3793
Tennessee

6 posted 2002-05-21 09:13 PM

She calls me the sandman.
A fragrant call of loamy dreams.
I taste the stony land.
Watch dust spill out from the seams.

I love this..feels like the coast of longing and the desert of a thousand nights and a night..hmmmm..

Sincerely,
Reg

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

7 posted 2002-05-21 10:05 PM

(smiles) Wow, this reminded me of that classic song "Mr. Sandman", this is magical and may you always be the one that makes her rest in sweet dreams forever! (big hugggssssss) This is lovely, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Michael, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

[This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (05-21-2002 10:06 PM).]

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

8 posted 2002-05-21 10:18 PM

Mike

This captured me!

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

9 posted 2002-05-22 01:10 PM

*bows* Glad y' all enjoyed.

She said burn ... together.
-TON

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

10 posted 2002-05-23 03:16 PM

She says:

Your voice is sand,
grains of eternity
warm and fluid
running poetry
through my fingers
leaving crystal remnant
smoothing me
with wonder
of the facets of each grain...
over a thousand cutting edges
and somehow?
soft as silk...

* * *

Yer gorgeous, yanno!

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

11 posted 2002-05-23 04:10 PM

what can one say when you write like this...

Hoping you have a wonderful visit
hugs
M

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

12 posted 2002-05-23 04:17 PM

I like this idea. . . it's one that I never thought of. . . but, when I do think of it. . .it makes so much sense. . .

great work. . .

--------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

13 posted 2002-05-23 04:19 PM

"Oh Mr Sandman, send me a dream
give her a complexion like peaches and cream
Give her a hairdo like Sandra Dee
Oh Mr Sandman
SEND ME A DREAM!!

I love wandering through your writing!! ]
I like someone who's got some sand in them!!

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

14 posted 2002-05-23 04:32 PM

Oh, I'm full of it.

Heh heh. Sand? Or something...

Glad you all enjoyed th' dusty words o' stuff.

Mike

She said burn ... together.
-TON

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

15 posted 2002-05-23 04:33 PM

Sen! Y' honor me yet again.

Danke!

She said burn ... together.
-TON

Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

16 posted 2002-05-23 05:28 PM

very cool - love the extended metaphor, and you did it well... bucketfull indeed.

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

17 posted 2002-05-23 06:04 PM

I liked your idea, I liked the way you did it, I liked the whole thing.

Nan

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

18 posted 2002-05-23 06:55 PM

I thank y' both!

She said burn ... together.
-TON

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

19 posted 2002-05-24 01:47 AM

wow Mike,
this is a keeper!

loved the way this felt

Enotneicna
Member

since 1999-06-06

Posts 340
Oakland, Or, USA

20 posted 2002-05-24 02:01 AM

A squirrel on the beach I saw one in some drift wood once on the Oregon coast.......was that you?

wonderful, just wonderful.....enjoyed so very much!

many blessings
always
Eno

Words are my medicine.
Read and live and love and heal!

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

21 posted 2002-05-24 02:10 AM

Everyone seems to have taken all my superlatives describing your poem and your work. This is wonderful sir. Tell us what you think her voice is like....

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

22 posted 2002-05-24 12:12 PM

Heh heh, glad y' all enjoyed. And deVine, this poem came from not knowin' how t' describe voices ... but that's an interesting idea (her voice) -- ah'll think about it.

She said burn ... together.
-TON

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