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Promised Sky
| Open Poetry #19 |
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Promised Sky |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
 Promised Sky She sat between his bent knees on the grassy bank at the water's edge. His arms wrapped around her waist as she leaned back in contentment's rest against the quiet calm of his chest, holding hands, fingers laced. Sated by the sun's warm silence, each knew what the other was thinking. In too few hours, the same linen sky that they sat beneath, would carry him away. For now, they would share the same breath and try to slow time. The sun danced with the wind on the lake's mirrored surface, turning each translucent ripple into diamond facets of light. The same spark reflected in hushed tears on flushed cheeks. "I wanted to take you to the ocean" he whispered. "I wanted to be the one to give that to you, to see your face when you saw it for the first time. Then, I wanted to see it through your eyes." But time would not allow that wish to be granted. For fall was fading. Still, what had been shared, would not ever allow winter's regret to set in. He stood and held out his hand, lifting her up to meet his waiting kiss. A kiss that kept so many promises, it changed the season, then set the sun. He couldn't give her the ocean, so instead he gave her the sky. Janet Marie   [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (03-11-2002 07:27 AM).] |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
All I can say is IT'S BEAUTIFUL! It left a little lump in my throat, but it's a not a bad feeling. And it also felt like a warm hug on a cold night. |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
But time would not allow that wish to be granted. For fall was fading. Still, what had been shared, would not ever allow winter's regret to set in. He stood and held out his hand, lifting her up to meet his waiting kiss. A kiss that kept so many promises, it changed the season, then set the sun. He couldn't give her the ocean, so instead he gave her the sky. You know the saying, 'good things are worth waiting for'? I think whoever first said that must have read your poetry. The absolute fantasy like tone to this, yet it ends...they part. Still, what had been shared, would not ever allow winter's regret to set in. That is one of the greatest lines I've ever read. Maybe because it is so much more. Thanks for this, JM. I knew I was still awake for some reason! |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
JM, Awww dear friend...you touch my very soul. I am moved beyond words. Such emotions you reach within me. Thank you so much.  Everybody thinks of changing humanity and nobody thinks of changing himself. Leo Tolstoy [This message has been edited by Larry C (03-11-2002 12:18 AM).] |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"A kiss that kept so many promises, it changed the season, then set the sun. He couldn't give her the ocean, so instead he gave her the sky" Janet, this is one of your best....now, you know that I love all of your poetry LOL so it's hard to pick a favorite, but this is definately a top 3....*sigh* and then, *SIGH* enchanting..... |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
I love the way you write. This is a touching, beautiful emote. Everytime I read you, your words make me feel a part of what you live. He also gives your pen it's magic  Take care ms. butterfly, Melissa~ "Poetry is not an opinion expressed... |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
quote: The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives. ~* Albert Einstein *~ [This message has been edited by Mysteria (03-11-2002 12:50 AM).] |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Sky is good, JM. I like sky!! Thank you for a piece of it... |
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rosepetals25
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076PA |
Janet, So beautiful and romantic I just love and enjoy your writing so much Hugs, Tara "My heart is like an open book, for the whole world to read" |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
For now, they would share the same breath and try to slow time. I know this feeling, JM.  Your poem is exceptional in the feeling it conveys and in the way you string your words together....absolutely beautiful.  copyright2002 Lyra Nesius |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
"He couldn't give her the ocean so instead he gave her the sky." James |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
'She sat between his bent knees on the grassy bank at the water's edge. His arms wrapped around her waist as she leaned back in contentment's rest against the quiet calm of his chest, holding hands, fingers laced.' Hey, J...excellent write...BUT, be careful, 'cuz I think free verse is taking a liking to you...  ...really, though...beautiful verse you've penned...flows like a classic JM...yaya I know I always say that...  ...but glad you shared it...k   And though my heart feels all alone without you |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
"For now, they would share the same breath and try to slow time. " "A kiss that kept so many promises, it changed the season, then set the sun." Oh dear ... my first read of the morning gator gal, and you've got me all teary. The imagery of her resting back against him ... you captured it perfectly, then the words snuck up on me, until by the end, something just hurt so real ... I could feel it. Amazing the way you bring these feelings to other's minds through your words Janet Marie ... that is a wonderful talent. So beautifully written ... Best wishes, /Kit PS ... trying to sneak by on 12,000? Congratulations in Announcements JM! /pip/Forum3/HTML/001643.html [This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (03-11-2002 05:29 AM).] |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
and just like the ocean the skies can be ominous, or beautiful, bringing peace and calm. These words you give today are peaceful JM. beautiful write Janet. Indeed lovely. *s* On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free. |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I love this and your linen sky image...just beautiful writing, JM *s M |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
A prosey poem...now wouldn't one know, it would come straight from you... thank you for this, little Moth...we've been in sore need of another one of your treasures... |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I love a positive message - and this is indeed uplifting... Simply and unequivocally wonderful, JM.. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
JM, Excellent is not a word for this poem for it is beyond that. But I am only a poor man with few words. Sy |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
"He couldn't give her the ocean, so instead he gave her the sky."   WOW!!! Oh my gosh, this one made me cry, it is sooooooooo beautiful, your words and visions always bring a smile to my face and has the ocean rising with inspiration and the sky swimming with light! (kiss on cheek) We all love you so much, sweet friend, this is awesome! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Janet, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton [This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (03-11-2002 08:31 AM).] |
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SmartChick Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081On A Journey To The Unknown |
This is so beauitful. I love the sunset/sunrise. Thank you for sharing it. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
....MAGICAL !!.... Love this Janet Marie! Please may we have more? ~Smiles and Hugs, Nancy~ ~Sometimes all you really wish for... |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Janet Marie The exquisite deapth of love gleaming in your words is far better then any sky...for I think he gifted you with more then sky, he set your heart on fire. Now that is a beautiful thing! |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
He couldn't give her the ocean, so instead he gave her the sky. When we love someone, we want to give them everything their heart has ever wished for... because fulfilling their dreams is glimpsing heaven ourselves. *S* But that's not always possible. He couldn't give the ocean... but what he gave isn't something she can only visit now and then... it's a gift to sustain her. The sky is with her every day... every night... as limitless as their love. It wraps her in warmth and amazes her with its beauty... a constant reminder that though he left, his love remains with her. Beautiful work, JM. *S* |
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srsmith25 Junior Member
since 2002-02-07
Posts 22Indiana |
Wow! This poem is beautiful and your photos make it even more beautiful. |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Ohhhhhhhhhh JanetMarie, this is goregous my goodness what a sweet write! Another treasure4me2read in the many days ahead... Hugs2uAlwaysDearPoetFriend *~coco~* |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
absolutely beautiful..Janet...nicely done as always...hugss and i love the paintings too ~Victoria |
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Dee Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330Queensland, Australia |
Janet, you deserve every little bit of that sky. I love to read these poems of yours, see the love and the longing in them. Thank you for sharing so much of the two of you with us. Dee I wish you every happiness and may you always have the best of the good things in life. a brand |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Janet this is most wonderful. I enjoyed reading it and CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR 120000. post. I saw Kits message on the other thread and you cannot sneak by us. LOL..great work. floria Floria |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Kacy.... Im so glad I could share the warm with you across the miles...thank you for the beautiful reply!! Duncan .... do you know how good for my muse you are *L* and yes..that line holds the key, doesnt it, ...thank you so much groovy guy, glad you waited up. LOL Larry...you humble me...truely....thank you very much poet kind. *S* Susan ... I just had a feeling you would love this one* wink*...thank you for the sighs and the high praise...Im trying new things and the encouragement means so much. *S* Melis ... thanks sweetie...and youre right .. He does...and always will...thank you for seeing him in the words. Somehow I knew you would, *S* Sharon.... *smiling at you* and to quote you "Oh, he gave her so much more." YES... he did. *S* Thank you for that beautiful and perfect pic....I'll see what the muse thinks about your request...you know how moody she is *L* TY so much. Michael....Then Sky it is...and we will write your name in it *L* thank you!! Tara ... thank you girlie...so much for the sweet reply and compliments. *S* Lyra ... Im so pleased you know that feeling...its wonderful isnt it.. thank you for the lovely response to my work. I like the way you string your words too *S* SBJ ... YES ... exactly. Thank you for the read. Kris....thank you girlie...Im liking the free verse too...lets my muse ramble on LOL TY for your help and insight on this one. (look at the time) ya know...only moths are up that late .. hehe. TY Kit.... ya got me...busted as I was tiptoeing on by LOL thank you for this beautiful reply and for the announcement hug. Youre too good to me but then we've come to expect sweet things from you. *S*' Donna....yes...somedays the moody muse even surprises me with the peace she finds...thank you dear poetess for this lovely reply!! Maureen ... that was one of my faves too...thank you for the read and the kind words. Karilea I needed it too *S* and thank you for the kind words...Im just trying to show what Ive learned from poets like you and Martie, Reggie, Lauren, (the list goes on.)who do free verse so well......like I said to SEA....I appreciate the encouragement when writing off the usual style and trying new things. TY my daily Sun *S* Nan ... and your reply is uplifting and postive *L* thank you for being unequivocal you!! Sy-babes....your gift of words make you rich and I hang on every one *S* thank you me stinky love for this sweet reply. *kiss* Noah...and your replies bring a smile to my face..thank you so much!! Smartchick....thank you so much...so glad you enjoyed. Nancy... just for you...I'll speak to me muse *L* thank you girlie. Martie...yes he did...and your replies are like the sky.... a beautiful thing *S* thank you sweets!! Ruthie....you saw it all between the lines as always *S*...and your reply reads like poetry girlie --if may I quote you.. "it's a gift to sustain her." yes...exactly...thank you so much for this beautiful reply, truely. srsmith25...thank you for the wow and the reply...so nice of you to stop in. TY *S* Coco ... you make me smile girlie...thank you for your sweet words dear poetess!! *S* Victoria ... thank you for the kind words and the hugs...glad you liked the pics...I found that bottom one and knew I had to use it with this one TY Dee... thank you for allowing my words to touch you, to be able to share him is the reason I write TY so much, girlie *S* Floria....LOL...well I tried but you guys are good, I didnt want anyone to notice I live in here LOL thank you for the congrats and kind words. THANK YOU ALL for these wonderful replies...you all get one of these and Stinky...you get one of these my love to poetry land. jm |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
Janet Marie~ give me the sky any day, in all its glory and ever changing moods...you know I know the depth of this....and each butterfly released when letting go....yes, the muse does whisper to the wind, and she replies....  Greeneyes~ Step through the barrier of my mind, enter my soul, feel my desire, let my eyes guide you into the shadows of my heart [This message has been edited by Greeneyes (03-12-2002 12:38 AM).] |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Janet, this is one of the most tender poems I've ever read. I think it should be submitted to a magazine or something!! Share it with the world...or enter it into a contest, it's a blue ribbon winner for sure. Your muse, when she's being good, is perfection. Promise her Moon Pies and Dr. Pepper if you have to keep her happy!!  |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Lauren ... *smiling at you* thank you my butterfly sister...for the depth of understanding. Sharon... LOL @moonpies and Dr Pepper ... hey...its worth a try...she wont fall for the raspberry tea anymore and thank you for such a wonderful compliment to this poem. Maybe I'll submit to "Aphrodite" thank you to all, peace and poetry jm |
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lunatic Member
since 2001-04-20
Posts 172 |
Absolutely beautiful. The last two lines were magnificent Let thy moon arise. William Blake |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
 And, I did read it again, and think more should "feel" this warmth too. |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
A beautifully dynamic work. You don't write often but when you do its a lollapalooza! Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
lunatic ... thank you so much for the magnificently beautiful reply I appreciate your generostiy...so good to see you in the blue pages again.Sharon... youre going to spoil me !! thank you girlie... for the "warm bump" Interloper ... and thank you so much...I dont think anyone has used "dynamic" of my work before...and I've called my moody muse many things...she likes "lollapalooza!" LOL thanks for stopping in and the kind words. thank you all for the wonderful replies. jm You never knew what I loved in you, |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Just because I needed to. |
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GenXer Senior Member
since 2001-12-15
Posts 583USA |
Janet - This is such a beautiful, romantic write. Nicely done. Dave |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Duncan ... come as many times as you need. Dave ... thank you so much for stoping in and reading. thanks to all for the kind words, peace and poetry jm |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
Jan, WOWOWOW girl you know I've been a fan of your writing forever and a day now...I can't believe I've not responded to this...please forgive me for I had read it and could have sworn I replied..but aparently I am losing my mind! Nevermind that...this is just such lovely writing, what does one say to your work when they've said it all...so i'll give you what in my mind is the ulitmate compliment to a poet...you inspire me to be a better poetress, thank you for your divine words and wonderful friendship. love ya much! your sunshine gal, amy "you can't stop |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Amy... nothing to forgive girlie thank you for this sweet encouraging reply... youre so good for my moody muse hey..I love your new signature. thanks to all |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Sunshine....are you trying to tell my muse something? TY |
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baerlon Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 197Youngstown and East Liverpool, Ohio, USA |
I was on today and decided to see what works you created lately and as usual you didn't disappoint. "I wanted to take you to the ocean" he whispered. "I wanted to be the one to give that to you, to see your face when you saw it for the first time. Then, I wanted to see it through your eyes." I really like that verse. It expresses alot of emotions and love. I really am glad i had the chance to read it. There's a peace inside us all |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
thank you bae....it is really cool that you would stop in and take the time to find me in back pages...I am honored, and touched by it... truly. So good to see your name here tonite. thanks so much Of all the things in me I could never be, |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
Okay..this is what I mean. You want to borrow my muse..but I want to borrow your eyes. It's like you see..through a kaleidoscope of reasoning. This piece especially feels like a photograph..black and white memories with tinges of azure..Even your blue..is bluer. You have surpassed mosaic thoughts and pieces..You see the whole sky..and make it tangible to the reader. I want that. I hope this makes sense. When this is read out loud..it really feels like an album of thoughts of a day a person made whole for you. Sincerely, Reg |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
okay ... so I wasn't here when you posted this and you knew I would come back ONE day to say a little something. Sometimes a poem doesn't need to be critiqued ... it just needs to be felt and shared, so here ya go!! Yes, he gave you the sky instead and that is like asking for the moon and getting the galaxy instead for the ocean is encompassed in the sky and the pull of the tide is controlled by the light of night from the heavens. Now if that doesn't prove his love for you, then someone ain't listening. Yeah, I know, give me a pickle and I will make "fresh" cucumber sandwich for you, but hey ... that's what I do!!! LIVE WITH IT. Now, I found something very interesting in your poem that came about from me searching a "glow-bug's" works for "flacid" .... Look below at your OWN versus to see what I am talking about. ROFL ======================================= His arms wrapped around her waist as she leaned back in contentment's rest ************* Sated by the sun's warm silence, each knew what the other was thinking ************* lake's mirrored surface, turning each ************* GET THE POINT?????? NEED I CONTINUE??:! ROFLMBO Ya know I couldn't pass that up now didn't ya. BTW ... I could continue in every verse, but I don't think you need them all pointed out to you. hugs sweet poetess |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Mark ... quote: Even youre replies are poetry my Aquarian wise one ... thank you for those beautiful words of heart and for the insightful view thru your wise eyes. You know a moth needs that when she gets distracted. Thank you for reminding me of whats important. Now...as for your acrostic word search... YEAH I GET THE POINT...ya had waaay too much time on your hands yesterday LOL Arent you just too clever for a moth and glowbug LOL I think me and Reggie need the pest control hehAnd Hey...ya missed something in the poem would Carry him away. For nOw, they would share the same breath and try to sloW time. "I wanted to Be the one to give that to you, to see your face when yOu saw it for the first time. Then, I wanted to see it through Your eyes." But tiMe would not allow that wish to be grAnted. For fall was fading. Still, what had been shaRed, would not ever allow winter's regret to set in. He stood and held out his hand, lifting her up to meet his waiting Kiss. thank you MC...youre the best [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (07-08-2002 07:36 AM).] |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Still, what had been shared, would not ever allow winter's regret to set in. You've taught me more than you know, Jams. Thank you. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
*in awe* |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
I probably wasn't around the forums much when you posted this one... but I am glad to have read this today... He couldn't give her the ocean, so instead he gave her the sky. great... simply briliant... regards sudhir |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
JM, thanks for leading us here..now, your latest has even more levels than it did to me before. Truly, so so captivating. much love to ya mothy gem xxxx Instant karma's gonna get you. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
One of my favorites, as you know. And again I quote my friend, "How do you hold a bird in the palm of your hand?" nodding "Become the sky..." |
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