Teen Poetry #5 |
vase of flowers, in watercolor |
anawnda Member
since 2002-07-26
Posts 113 |
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Vase of flowers, in watercolor" I am the vase of flowers on the canvas you leave unfinished. you do not dare complete this scene- paint a table with me as the centerpiece, a lamp for light, glasses for sight, a mirror to reflect what you see in me. No, I exist alone in your memory. I am the vase of flowers you leave, the canvas you leave unfinished. your brush could stain my leaves with color, define the curves of these petals, shape this vase you have placed me in. Until now, I do not know what kind of flower I am to you- just one without thorns. I am the vase of flowers, the vase of flowers you leave unfinished. If I asked, would you tell me why you cannot picture a room for me to live and breathe in? or make me bloom as vividly as real flowers in your real garden? I am the vase you leave, the flowers you leave, the canvas unfinished. you have painted me in watercolor, in the blurs and strokes of dreams, then left me lonely on this canvas. Are you waiting for me to wilt? Do you still want me to break? Will you water or wash me off with tears? *********** for christian vasquez |
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© Copyright 2002 anawnda - All Rights Reserved | |||
Otaku Junior Member
since 2002-08-13
Posts 39Western Australia |
i like the sense of neglect in this poem, and the extended sentences procure frustration.... well thought out......an overall good job! "Demon slain, the deed is done...." |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Anawnda~ This is just lovely~ Your title captured me ... I found the 'bouquet' word-fragrant with imagery~ *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Vasquez is proud... |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
I like it I felt it was a little hard to follow the first time through, but the second time it flowed much easier for me (which doesn't say much for my comprehension, does it?). |
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Nazera29 Junior Member
since 2002-08-14
Posts 34Connecticut |
i love new metaphors and i think comparing yourself to a painting is brilliant! great job... and it reminds me of all the unfinished artwork i have left behind.... *We are the hero in our own story* |
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anawnda Member
since 2002-07-26
Posts 113 |
actually this poem is connected with my previous one titled 'christian' its for this guy who at first liked me then just suddenly stopped calling and sending sms, i miss him and it still hurts a lot. also the poem 'thursday' and 'you won' is for christian vasquez also. God love sure sucks |
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pam New Member
since 2002-09-17
Posts 1 |
hi anawnda! nice one! hmmmm... is christian vasquez the guy from the "suportahan ta ka" pldt guy? |
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anawnda Member
since 2002-07-26
Posts 113 |
yup he is that guy. i know him, we go out. i didnt know any1 knows him here, it sure sucks because he mislead me. were just friends now and we go out still but i try to guard my feelings now, i like this other guy now, its been months since i last visited this site. |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Just coming back to add this to my library. Don't mind me. |
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Brian James Member
since 2005-06-26
Posts 147Winnipeg |
This is a really, really good poem. The relatively colloquial diction is a powerful compliment to such subtly profound sentiments as "No, I exist alone / in your memory." I also think "in the blurs and strokes of dreams" is one of my favourite lines of piptalk poetry ever. Yeesh, I don't know if you'll ever even read this reply, but all the same I have to keepsake this poem in my private library. "To me, the thing that art does for life is to clean it, to strip it to form." |
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Brian James Member
since 2005-06-26
Posts 147Winnipeg |
click! |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
I loved the imagery. You probaly will never read this but thats ok. I post in Teen now. /pip/Forum96/HTML/001993.html |
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