Open Poetry #13 |
The Trip to Beautiful |
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
The Trip to Beautiful She is laced with feelings to the base of this green mountain where she has poured out her sorrow and watched it bloom yearly with great soggy tears. On the oak trees that line the streets are her babies names, engraved with the date when her heart stopped for a minute and tried to capture them, hold them, before the scampering of time took them away. She has loved in the grass and sighed into the night of this neighborhood until she has become as familiar as the morning dove. The duct tape holds her feelings in and is wound tight to the curb where number 614 is painted in white, yet she knows of the infinite possibilities that are alive in her. Does she dare climb the roof and search all the miles to the ocean and find some otherness that has eluded her? So she changed her route and took the narrow road that led to who knows where, because the same thing was making her soggy. That was when she saw the truth waiting for her in every reflection, and she was beautiful. [This message has been edited by Martie (edited 04-06-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
In every facet, you are most beautiful....and this was heart-wrenching.... |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Martie~ this is amazing..... SEA |
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Brad Majors
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647Georgia |
yes this is amazing. You have quite alot of talent! |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
well - I know one beautiful poet - who writes very convincing poetry - even when I need to have it explained |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Martie~ Martie~ Martie~ Almost too beautiful for words ... *Hugs* ~*Sis*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Sometimes the beauty (or all we really needed all along) is right before our eyes, if we only open them. I loved this. ~*~ I write, therefore I am ~*~ |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Well Martie, I was about to sign off and get to bed BUT I saw your post and I couldn't resist a 'MartieRead' before hitting the dreamland sheets... So once again sweetie, you've shared with us another beautiful poem and I thank you for ending my night with this most enjoyed read... Hugs2uPoetFriend ~coco~ |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Truly beautiful... Martie, my regards to you, Sudhir |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Karilea--You are always so sweet. Sea--thanks so much for your amazing reply. Brad--Hi...I appreciate you stopping by...glad you have joined our family here at PIP. Bill--Sometimes my mind wonders into places that are not easily understood...thanks for asking. Marge--thanks for being such a good editor..hugs. Sharon--thank you for understanding the simple of what I was trying to say. Coco--I haven't seen you for awhile..so glad you stopped to read this...your reply made me smile. Sudhir--regards to you too, my friend. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
That was when she saw the truth waiting for her in every reflection, and she was beautiful. What a reward for risking a change of direction! *S* This goes from sadness to soaring, Martie... and does so with beauty. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Hey hon...another marvellously written piece.... how do you do it? There were a couple of things I wanted to point out 'great soggy tears of weep.' I see what you were doing with this...yet in essense it's tautological (repeating the same thing) tears and weep are basically the same...so I'd changed the word 'tears' into something else to describe 'weep' also - 'and find some otherness that has alluded her?' is alluded supposed to be eluded? Hugs hon...loved it... K All obscurity starts with a danger: |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Ok... lets just say... WOW! Read this a few times through... and WOW! A depth of feeling here that is hard to match. The reflection is you... held in you writing... beautiful in deed. Peace. ... and thanks for the read... it was good to be seen by one such as you. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ruth--Yes, a reward, what a lovely way to look at it. Kamla--Yes, you are so right...thank you for your eyes...and brain of course...I'll make some changes. Hugs! Scott--Thanks for the beauiful and the wow...both are very much appreciated. |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Martie, you are a kind soul to have pointed me in the direction of this beautiful verse of yours. It does help. Obviously, you do understand where my poem came from. *hugs a bunch* ....jo PS: I'm saving this for further inspiration which, indeed, is needed. |
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