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Open Poetry #13
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The Ocean's Only Cry
| Open Poetry #13 |
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The Ocean's Only Cry |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396
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The Ocean's Only Cry I placed a match to paper strewn, to pages old and torn , and curling limbs (which are never sure) rest against the flame, testing strength and breathing through, what samples leaked instead. Chances are the night was born for teasing images - dancing, for answers out of reach and seeing. We could burn this place and all it’s love and never win the war, or simply ask for seconds if only seconds were allowed. We sang through all the circles, we tore ourselves the same. But still the weather’s asked too much and wishing only cries, it only weakens me in ways I can’t afford. I would of talked about an aeroplane or the miles in-between, and here’s been lost a thousand times and bleeding animals - scream. They carry on with secrets sworn and eventually let go, how were you to know? - How was any of this alive to you, if hands were always empty or clenched so tight they whitened? I gathered burning yesterday wouldn’t really do, so I walked along the empty shores in hours - alone from you. I could have kicked my way through ashes tumbling in shadow of every step, but instead I turned and looked inside the ocean’s only cry, and filled myself with cancers running - completely unwilling,...to die. |
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| © Copyright 2001 SpitFire - All Rights Reserved | |||
Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
SpitFire, you constantly amaze me with the images that you show in your writing. . . superb. . .  ---------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I placed a match to paper strewn, to pages old and torn , and curling limbs (which are never sure) rest against the flame, ============================== Chances are the night was born for teasing images - dancing, for answers out of reach and seeing. We could burn this place and all it’s love and never win the war, or simply ask for seconds if only seconds were allowed. We sang through all the circles, we tore ourselves the same. ========================= They carry on with secrets sworn and eventually let go, how were you to know? - How was any of this alive to you, if hands were always empty or clenched so tight they whitened? I gathered burning yesterday wouldn’t really do, so I walked along the empty shores in hours - alone from you. I could have kicked my way through ashes tumbling in shadow of every step, but instead I turned and looked inside the ocean’s only cry, and filled myself with cancers running - completely unwilling,...to die. ============================= I only say this to a small number of poets I deem more brilliant than my small mind can conceive... "oh how i wish to walk thru your poetic mind barefoot"  the depth and imagery are equaled by the intensity of the expression. Your work is often like a diary page that we know we're not supposed to be reading... but we just cant stop, even when caught. very very cool write A. It's such a clever innocence with which you show myself to me |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Chances are the night was born for teasing images - dancing, for answers out of reach and seeing. We could burn this place and all it’s love and never win the war, or simply ask for seconds if only seconds were allowed. you are a wonderful writer..I enjoyed this ~Wynter "The worst prison would be a closed heart". |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Oh how I love the ocean - yes I've walked this lonely shore, oh My, I loved this and by the way thank you for your reply on my post, of course you can print anything I write, I'm honored, I loved the images you portrayed in this. Kathleen Blake "When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey." Laurie Lee [This message has been edited by Irish Rose (edited 04-07-2001).] |
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Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
SpitFire, This is an incredible piece of writing with great imagery. I much enjoyed this. Thank you. Michael Proust- |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
There you go again, A. Very deep writing here my friend. You have quite a talent for conveying just the right image. Awesome write, you. ~smile and hug~ Keep it up. I am loving this. All writing comes |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
I read this through several times...and each read brought me deeper and deeper into this poem...fantastic writing...the level of emotion, imagery and pure poetic talent are awesome...your gift is evident...thank you for sharing it here...with all of us~ |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I gathered burning yesterday wouldn’t really do, so I walked along the empty shores in hours - alone from you. I could have kicked my way through ashes tumbling in shadow of every step, but instead I turned and looked inside the ocean’s only cry, and filled myself with cancers running - completely unwilling,...to die. This is fantastic. If that does not perfectly describe the ache of separation and lonliness, then what is this awful feeling I have while reading? Speaking of stabbing imagery! Totally stunning. |
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Saunni Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777West Virginia |
Oh, this is beyond great!! Just so good! I loved this and I agree...you are very talented. Sauni Sauni :) |
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Brad Majors
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647Georgia |
Wow. Its ahrd to find words to say. This piece is simply amazing and make the rest of us feel merely hacks in the presence of such talent! |
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insect Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014 |
This is Fire of Fire Fire! |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Extremly powerful images, poignant story. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Came back for a re-read...and? love it more! love the meter, and internal rhyme and the assonance just gave it a little oom-pa! (like it needed it!) This one is a treasure of pain...should I do an evil grin? naw... you KNOW that's a compliment! love you, and this work especially spoke to me..thank you! |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
A 'Paragon' of virtue, my friend... I'm picturing you strolling along that introspective beach... Nicely done... |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
sighhh, another superb piece of writing. excellent, excellent! I'm with Serenity, "stabbing imagery" indeed! Maree [This message has been edited by Dark Angel (edited 05-27-2001).] |
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Watersign6 Senior Member
since 2001-05-25
Posts 823Hurricane,WV |
oh how great is this one,love it so much |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
I gathered burning yesterday wouldn’t really do, so I walked along the empty shores in hours - alone from you. I could have kicked my way through ashes tumbling in shadow of every step, but instead I turned and looked inside the ocean’s only cry, and filled myself with cancers running - completely unwilling,...to die. I want to write like you Alicia this is achingly beautiful and I'm in awe of your talent, still. Maree [This message has been edited by Dark Angel (04-18-2002 06:33 PM).] |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I wanna write like this when my muse grows up. |
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