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Teen Poetry #4
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Apocalypse (double poem, from poetry workshop)
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Apocalypse (double poem, from poetry workshop) |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg 
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Here's something that I wrote in the Poetry Workshop..... it's a double poem. The red part is a paradelle, and the black part is just a poem in Iambic Tetrameter. Put side to side they form one poem, each red line leads into the black line directly next to it. So they are each a poem seperately and together as well. It was the result of an assignment in the Poetry Workshop... I hope you all enjoy.  Apocalypse The Mountain Climber ~ The Warrior a mountain climbs the sky ~ the terror glitters on his blade a mountain climbs the sky ~ so rich with texture, lustr'ous light as nature gapes in awe ~ he reaches for the stars he's made as nature gapes in awe ~ he cuts the wonders from the night in awe, the sky gapes as ~ each prize is pasted to his belt a mountain, nature climbs ~ beneath the sun, to fry and melt with arms of fury frost ~ he left his world to fend alone with arms of fury frost ~ a hero dead, and one anew and claws of biting wind ~ that clawed his planet to the bone and claws of biting wind ~ a hero used to be one true with biting wind and frost ~ the warrior fought for such a cause of fury, claws of arms ~ but fury clipped his frosty claws in mankind, cold remorse ~ the answer to the questions is in mankind, cold remorse ~ so simple, yet so far away the steel submits to snow ~ while rust forms on that blade of his the steel submits to snow ~ the war was won within the day remorse, the snow in steel ~ a form of rain so very rare submits to cold mankind ~ to decorate the warrior's hair the sky with mountain cold ~ with snow to line the fall of man the claws of fury arms ~ as nature, rips our land to shreds remorse of nature frost ~ the absent force provides a plan in awe, a biting wind ~ spins fast, and cuts off all our heads, submits to snow, and climbs ~ the pages of the hist'ry books as mankind gapes in steel ~ they're buried by the babb'ling brooks [This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 05-11-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved | |||
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
wow!!...allan  ...amazing work here....i really think you this showed your talent in writing...an awesome job..as always~...keep writing... cya~...  ...?if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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Tangerines Junior Member
since 2001-05-07
Posts 22Richmond, Virginia |
Oh, wow. This is interesting. And different. And very, very good. The way you joined the two together - I'm duly impressed.  "I don't judge people, I just watch them till it's time to look away. I wanna look away now." - Kristin Hersh |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Great poem, great poem, great poem. It's good to see talent being put to use. "Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato. |
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Suga_Baby Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380Maine, USA |
This is WICKED COOL!!!! yay! Awesome job, as always  ,Sara "A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep." |
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JBaker515
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458Dartmouth College |
Allan, what gave you this idea? First of all, it was truly amazing. I loved every single line in it, and it works so well as one poem.. ( and the paradelle was really well done too! ).. I enjoyed this greatly, and i want to try it some time, maybe...about LOVE..JK..lol.. anyway..you the man..great job.. talk to you later  $ Jeff $ : ) |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
allan my friend, you creative brilliance never ceases to amaze me. the poems are pieces to be proud of by themselves but the joining of the two really shows of your talent and ability. don't ever stop posting and i won't ever stop reading. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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DragonFang Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522Missouri, USA |
wow, now that's just plain cool. Good job Allan. "Sa souvraya niende missian ye." \ |
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katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
WOW!! this is awesome and amazing and WOW! it shows your talent. katie if you don't let them in they can't see the real you |
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Low Man's Lyric Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 236In a dream |
This was very creative but it sounded a little off to me, maybe I was reading it too slow or too fast or I just read it wrong, either way it didn't flow right with me. But anyways keep pumping out those poems out from your creative mind. Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend." |
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obscurity of cloud Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294....:::::******:::::.... |
This is really something else. It's evident all the work you've put into this and personally, i think it's great! "so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost |
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LoneWolf Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384IL |
WOW, i absolutly loved these. these were really great. WOW i don't think i can use any other words describe how much i like these other then WOW. oh and this is going to the library of course. It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that. |
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mistic Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 233Idaho, U.S.A. |
This is totally awesome. I loved it. It shows an amazing amount of talent and creativity! Awesome job! |
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, Allan, I really liked this one and it will grace my library next to all your other works. I liked how you combined them its really good. Now that I have been reading your work for quite some time now I think I can say this with whole heartedly (sp) I think your one of the best poets not just in piptalk but in the world I have never meet or read a persons poetry who is so young that can write like he (she) has been doing it for many many years. I feel truly privileged to read your work and to say when your a famous poet "I knew him" okay since I have ran my mouth for like a paragraph I am going to shut up now. Until your next masterpiece-- Linc "Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment." |
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Marshalzu 
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Wow Allan you really have excelled your self this time... well done an absouloutely amazing read Zu |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Someone's got a lot of time in his hands Anyways, great read AR Keep it up "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Ok....the challenge....wow....very complicated. Very original challenge at that, so i give props to whoever made it up. Now as for YOUR POEM...or double poem....very well done......very impressive...very amazing. I really really liked this one. Read it slowly and all..haha "remorse, the snow in steel ~ a form of rain so very rare" Oh I just loved that line....wow....amazed me. VEry well done. keep them coming!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is awesome, Allan! VERY impressive! I actually tried this while I was away. It was disastrous, but maybe I'll try it again sometime This was awesome. Another one that's going to grace the top of my library. Nice work. Thanks for the read.--Marie "You're the girl of my nightmares. |
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