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Open Poetry #12
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2001-02-20 10:24 PM


Icing on the Cake

"I want more than just
the icing on the cake"

and the words stuck

for without the cake
where would the icing be?

relationships are
not built on promises per se
although some
do seem that way

so to start from scratch
it's what we do
to carry the
commitment
all the way through

gather the eggs
up from the hen
sift the flour
then sift again
a pinch of salt
some sugar will do
this recipe
is good for two
stir complete
and temper it right
and it will rise
fair and light

but beat too hard
or let loose a shout
or burn with words
we could do without
and the cake will
falter and fall
a bitter taste left
in the mouths of all

so before you whip
the icing up
make sure the cake
will pass the test
for sweetest icing should
be saved
only for
the very best…



Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ




© Copyright 2001 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved
Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
1 posted 2001-02-20 10:33 PM



*and Melissa climbs a mountain and sings "I luv it, I luv it! My library must have this gem! I agree! This should be in the homes of newlyweds as a daily reminder. Well expressed with flair with an excellent theme and use of metaphors. Well done Karilea~

Take care,
Melissa~

Sunlit Soul
Junior Member
since 2001-02-05
Posts 37
Never Land
2 posted 2001-02-20 10:35 PM


Ah, how very true! A great way of putting it, well written my fellow sunshine friend!

"Every man dies. Not every man lives."
-Tim Robbins

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
3 posted 2001-02-20 10:38 PM


Karilea--How do you keep writing so many and such really well done poems? I love the metaphore of the cake...a great message here, my friend. Can I have your recipe?
Voiceless
Senior Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 686
Under the stars upon the wind
4 posted 2001-02-20 10:38 PM


I do believe everyone one could agree with this one~


~*Peachy Be*~

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
5 posted 2001-02-20 11:35 PM


It takes the icing AND the cake
To make the beauty whole
But lucky is the finger that's
Allowed to scrape the bowl!!

This is a wonderful metaphorical poem, Sunshine. Cake alone lacks flavor. Icing alone can make one sick. But, together, they are dynamite!!!

like this one....

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
6 posted 2001-02-21 06:50 AM



for sweetest icing should
be saved
only for
the very best…

Oh Karilea...you weave the heart here...I'm smiling and nodding my head in agreement!! Loved it!!

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2001-02-21 08:48 AM


Melybee climbing mountains...now that I can see!...

Thank you Sunlit...

Martie...because I want to keep this gift very, very much...that's why I try...but I do share my muse when I can...she is the one with the recipes...

Thank you Voiceless...I hope so...

'Deer, you summed it up quite nicely...

Holly, I see your nod, I really do!

Thank you all...


catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
8 posted 2001-02-21 09:48 AM


Hi, this is great! You can take any object and make it about love. You are awesome...
Sandra

Puck
Junior Member
since 2001-02-21
Posts 14
Oberon's Palace
9 posted 2001-02-21 10:59 AM


Sunshine, this is really divine, I wonder if you'd make me a cake. A fairy cake And don't give me any old icing I would like some sunshine on mine.
Wonderful poem
have some smiles and my dust
::


Iam that merry wanderer of the night
I jest to Oberon, and make him smile
Puck

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
10 posted 2001-02-21 11:02 AM


Great analogy Sunshine, well done!!!
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
11 posted 2001-02-21 02:28 PM


This is nice Sunshine...I always thought if I treated a woman really good then I would get the icing on the cake...not necessarily true...some are upside down cakes...some don't have icing...James
NC
Member
since 2001-02-20
Posts 89

12 posted 2001-02-21 04:57 PM


very nice, Sunshine

and lots of truth
mixed in too!

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
13 posted 2001-02-21 05:02 PM


I'm definitely not a baker but that is very delightful...I enjoyed the read very much! It's always good to be a reader witness to your different types of creativeness...good work!

The poet is like a cocoon; in him the caterpillar of the past finds rest, and from him the butterfly of the future emerges.

Poeminister
Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada
14 posted 2001-02-21 06:01 PM


I like the taste of this. Wonderfully said.

Poeminister

[This message has been edited by Poeminister (edited 02-21-2001).]

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