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Open Poetry #39
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Deer's new style - my poem
| Open Poetry #39 |
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Deer's new style - my poem |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands 
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I'm ready Deer, to give it a try and write a poem your style My pen in hand quite steady Dear, although it took me a while To understand the words you wrote, explaining how it was done Don't want to make a blunder, or my esteem will soon be gone I've made it through level one I guess, my fingers crossed for two And you know what? I prayed it would be easy, each line anew I smoke too many cigarettes, while thinking up a good rhyme Let me be frank, I'll choke you Deer, for making me sweat this time Now let's start on level three, I'm halfway done, I'm going through Because deep down in that heart of me, there lives respect for you You write great lines of poetry which can make us laugh or weep I know that I have cryed, eight times I think, touched my heart real deep Last stanza coming up sweet pal, that's the hardest, I just know I think I'll watch Bonanza now, energy is running low Your rhyming form is killing me, just pour me a glass of wine It all comes down to timing you know, one hug and I'll be fine  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Balladeer's new style: Each stanza consists of 4 fifteen syllable lines. The second and third syllables of the first and third lines rhyme with the sixth and seventh syllables of the second and fourth lines and the ending rhymes are a-a-b-b. Like scattered leaves...my words will flow [This message has been edited by Titia Geertman (01-03-2007 02:47 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2007 Titia Geertman - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Titia, excellently done. Should I try it? Keth a good commitee can decimate communication. |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
whoa...this was great, a challenge well met...  very much enjoyed |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
Thanks. Keth, it wasn't easy at all, at least not for me with my poor English vocabulary, LOL. You have to think up front about rhyming the second/third and sixth/seventh syllable and that very much pinpointed me down. I thought up great lines, but then failed to find a proper rhyme for those syllables. It was fun though. Like scattered leaves...my words will flow |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Way to go, Titia  Too many words for me to try to write... Poet, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Wonderful work, my Dutchie! You remained true to the form and came up with a very clever topic, writing about how hard it was to right it. Besides, anyone who rhymes stanza and Bonanza is a genius in my book! You crack me up! Thank you for taking the time and making such a wnderful effort  |
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