»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #39
»
where he is? (charcoal man and his lady)
| Open Poetry #39 |
|
where he is? (charcoal man and his lady) |
|
|
The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest 
|
the something of him she does not know cannot touch wanders teche way the bayou bends south Panama ridin’ high feet shined slidin’ smooth brown tip calypso in lapel patchouli dominican leaf cigar smellin’ man sits in front of cantina warm in the sun women in brown skin sniff air un transport unable to sit still toss skirts prattle smile fast red lips black eyes gaze over shoulders charcoal man crosses legs amused sips cognac raises glass to women nice nice make play pool table dancin’ lap sittin’ eatin’ chevrette from strange woman fingers day grows old sun turns away charcoal man stands rogue cabris takes woman hand reaches touches feels shadow hair memory calls lady’s name at last ah mon jeannette brown woman disappears charcoal man stands alone cold |
||
| © Copyright 2006 Kate - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
aziza Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy! |
They have me so wrapped up ... so filled with their story and their inner parts. And, sometimes, I see pieces of my life -- as they share so much of their lives. aziza |
||
|
The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
thank you aziza they have my life too... |
||
|
Goldenrose Member Elite
since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665 |
You evoke the scene, set it up like a director, then let us see true colourful genius and local everyday life played out through dialect superb...we are there... smellin the patchouli..breathin the cigar smoke...and feelin the ambiance dripping from the walls..thank you lady for such brilliance.. Goldenrose |
||
|
Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
ahhhhhhhh, no matter where he is, lady lives in his heart. Kate this one is by far, my favorite. GR said it best, this is brilliant. Oh, I would so definately pay to see this saga at the theater!! |
||
|
seraphin Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1004Michigan |
Your skill at character evolution is masterly. It is only dwarfed by your ability to draw the reader fully into the world of your creation. You have us living, breathing, feeling this couple. He's going back, isn't he? |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
It has become a lovely dance of lives, staged just so. Continue to haunt the air with more streams of mossy sounds, please. |
||
|
Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ladyone, can see this painting, in the dim lit joyhouse..back wall over the dark long hound bar...curls of a habana playing tag with some sneak up sun from a distant window enjoyed it |
||
|
cbautista Junior Member
since 2006-09-13
Posts 38 |
I feel like I am listening to a tamborine, or the beating of an excited heart. I thought it captured the moment, nice work. Are you planning to change anything from it now, or do you find yourself completely satisfied with this? |
||
|
Spike Daft Junior Member
since 2006-09-12
Posts 23CA, USA |
You really have talent with imagery and a wonderful, unique style. I really enjoyed this... Keep up the fantastic work! Grey Matter Custom Images |
||
|
The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
thank you Goldenrose for your kind reply… yes Gentle Spirit the lady is his heart… hope he knows that now thank you so much thank you so much Sandra yes he’s going back but to what? thank you Karilea more mossy sounds coming… thank you Stranger love that habana… smells so good cbautista, thank you so much I don’t plan to change it now… thank you Spike Daft for your kind reply… |
||
|
iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Ok, Kate, you definitely have me hooked on these! *hugs*....jo |
||
|
The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
thank you jo... hugs to you |
||
|
Magicmystery Senior Member
since 2002-02-13
Posts 821Windsor, Ontario, Canada |
I wished I had read these in order. I can smell his cigar this is so real for me. You've answered the question in the back of my mind here for 2 of your poems.... Why!? Great story! Glad I didn't miss this one. Sherry  |
||
|
The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
thank you Sherry glad you enjoyed... Kate |
||
Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
He spoke her name - and said so much more than her name. A |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
