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Open Poetry #39
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secondhanddreampoet
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since 2006-11-07
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a 'Universalist' !

0 posted 2006-11-17 11:59 PM


            
  “Reflectaphors in Time”
  (the ultimate solvent!)

I walk...November streets
stained with discontent and
damp and dirty ‘promises’
dropped by  ‘strangers’
with flint-chisel faces...
ever passing...passing by
bent on deadly purpose
with the desert in their eyes.
My heart’s bleached
  dry and bare,
singed by crisp indifference
beneath the angry skies
as destiny points and laughs
at just another ‘fool’...
who will not surrender
a lone and ‘different’ way
lost in quiet memories
and impotent dreams.


© Copyright 2006 Bruce E. Adams Jr. - All Rights Reserved
XOx Uriah xOX
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since 2006-02-11
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Virginia
1 posted 2006-11-18 12:05 PM


Wonderful write.   The cool thing about "different" paths... They are ALL glorious and even the person who "thinks" they choose No Path...walks one.
passing shadows
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displaced
2 posted 2006-11-18 12:43 PM


very touching
nakdthoughts
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Between the Lines
3 posted 2006-11-18 08:02 AM


Reflectaphors ...love the title and I see this myself in others and wonder if they see this in me.

I enjoyed your view..

M

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
4 posted 2006-11-18 09:16 AM


Srong imagery simmers the reckoning of deep time, the travels of our life path including those missed steps.  I see promise, not the intentioned pledge of another human necessarily, but the unconditional pledge of time itself.
Extremely well written piece.
TD

LeeJ
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since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

5 posted 2006-11-18 09:45 AM


I see a strength in understanding in this poem...and even from the deserts of life, we can learn hords.  

Bravo...well done

Magnus
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6 posted 2006-11-18 10:07 AM


chiseled faces and dirty promises reminds
me of a recruiter staring across the desk
from you...

[This message has been edited by Magnus (11-18-2006 10:41 AM).]

secondhanddreampoet
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7 posted 2006-11-18 11:38 AM


Grand thanks to everyone for your comments pursuant to this 'write'!....the encouragement comes at a crucial time in that I have, very recently, received an 'assessment' of my poetry [from an editor of a prestigious poetry journal and a (double doctorate) poetry professor at a well-known university poetry center (considered one of the best)]...to the effect that it is essentially "pseudo-sentimental, syrup-laden, banal tripe!"

Midnitesun
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Gaia
8 posted 2006-11-18 01:11 PM



Seymour Tabin
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Tamarac Fla
9 posted 2006-11-18 01:24 PM


secondhanddreampoet
You know the old sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt.
There is merit in your syrup.

Magnus
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10 posted 2006-11-18 02:31 PM


The assessment is not uncommon from those
who live, eat and breath poetry...and have
studied it for decades...  Unfortunately,
a more kind way of approaching criticism is
often not included in their mannerisms...

Yes, sticks and stones... though it is often
difficult to dodge them.

Martie
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11 posted 2006-11-18 02:36 PM


Bruce...Me thinks that being different should be worn as a badge of honor, but indifference..now that hurts.  Nice imagery...loved "with the desert in their eyes".     Good to see you posting despite the doc's assessment.
wredgranny
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since 2006-11-18
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Ky. USA
12 posted 2006-11-18 08:53 PM



O'siyo Secondhanddreampoet,please remember those who say these things are sometimes those who only wish they could write such deep knowing,instead they are readers only you see? I like very much what you have to say here and see nothing syrupy at all,rather a deep look into ones own soul seeking a peace not often found!
many blessings


  granny!

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

13 posted 2006-11-18 09:46 PM


personally, I love to read authors that are not afraid to color outside the lines...critics to, can be trendy...political....know it all's ya know?
Keep in mind, Harry Potter was rejected 117 times.
Keep writing and we'll keep reading, encouragement is what makes a writer strong and goes a long way.

Hugs

Magnus
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14 posted 2006-11-18 10:09 PM


I would approach the criticism in this
manner...  It is a tool to help you grow
and excel,  become a better writer.  It
can be a great tool if the writer receives
positive feedback from those that judge.

Sadly...too often the time is not taken to
give the writer a fair shake by giving him/her
feedback or a reference source that will
be helpful....

I guess the final question is....do you want
to become better?  Like Leej said...Harry
Potter was rejected over 100 times before
it was finally accepted....  Learn from the
experience and never let them get you down.

secondhanddreampoet
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since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !
15 posted 2006-11-19 09:18 PM


Once again....thanks so very, very much...to all of you for the inspirational 'feedback'!!
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