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Open Poetry #38

her

me_here
New Member

since 2006-07-14

Posts 5
Qld, Australia

0 posted 2006-07-16 12:23 PM

I held her in my palm
like a beautiful flower
delicate
intricate
perfect.
The wind came
and I closed my hand
so she would not be blown
out of my grasp
but in doing so
I bruised her
and when I opened my hand
I realized my mistake
though it was too late
what I once held dear
was crushed
and gone

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

1 posted 2006-07-16 08:29 AM

ouch

BeautifullyBroken84
Junior Member

since 2005-11-16

Posts 11
Minnesota, USA

2 posted 2006-07-16 12:49 PM

I felt sad as I neared the end of your poem...but I think that is the sign of a good poet, to be able to transfer feelings onto the reader...nicely done!

~* I write the waves of my emotions, with my pen as my ship and my heart as my compass *~

The Lady
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-12-26

Posts 7634
The Southwest

3 posted 2006-07-16 04:49 PM

Heartbreaking and beautifully done, me.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

4 posted 2006-07-17 03:28 AM

I think I did this...some are angels...not meant for consumption...James

aziza
Member Elite

since 2006-07-09

Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!

5 posted 2006-07-18 08:39 PM

I think there are times that we all hold someone we love too tightly. Your poem is beautiful and sad - just like life can be at times.

aziza

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

6 posted 2006-07-18 09:25 PM

A beautiful bittersweet write.
Well done.
Hugs~Nancy

For it was not into my ear you whispered
But into my heart..
It was not my lips you kissed
But my soul.

TinaTrivett
Senior Member

since 2006-07-15

Posts 569

7 posted 2006-07-18 09:46 PM

Beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

me_here
New Member

since 2006-07-14

Posts 5
Qld, Australia

8 posted 2006-07-18 10:43 PM

Thank you all so much for your feedback

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