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aziza
Member Elite

since 2006-07-09

Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!

0 posted 2006-07-10 01:15 AM

Dawn Breaks

i was thrust from the deepest sleep
by the crash of dawn breaking beyond my window
shards of blackness rained upon me
cutting away remnants of a now distant dream

... aziza ...

divine chaos
Senior Member

since 2006-07-09

Posts 617
dancing 'neath the moon

1 posted 2006-07-10 01:40 AM

this is the second one of yours i've seen that shares a title with one of mine, funny how that happens lol

Dawn breaks and sunlight falls across my sleep-filled eyes
He caresses my cheek gently
and wakes me with a kiss
His warm body presses close to mine
He whispers, "I love you."
and my heart is filled with an unspeakable joy

I like yours better though

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

2 posted 2006-07-10 01:46 AM

I love this, but hope that the dream that you lost was a bad one. Otherwise I am sad that dawn was sad for you. Either way, I love the powerful originality in this and the absence of clichés - and in fact the shattering of an almost-cliché.

- Owl

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

3 posted 2006-07-10 06:57 AM

I love them both!

Rick
Member Elite

since 2001-06-21

Posts 2903
Victoria, Australia

4 posted 2006-07-10 07:30 AM

aziza, does not sound like a nice way to awaken to the day, you are lucky to remember a dream for I can not, may you sleep with peace in body and mind my friend, awaken to a soft radio and meet the day on happy terms. Thank you for sharing this, much enjoyed.

Sincerely
Rick

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

5 posted 2006-07-10 08:23 AM

Aziza~
I enjoyed the sounds of the dark breaking into shards across the morn~
That gave this piece a fresh originality of thought~

*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email - [email protected]

jody5
Senior Member

since 2005-12-21

Posts 876
California, U.S.A.

6 posted 2006-07-10 09:35 AM

This was
great. I enjoyed reading it.

Hugs Kimberly

aziza
Member Elite

since 2006-07-09

Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!

7 posted 2006-07-10 11:14 AM

Thank you all. I am in awe of so much that I have read here, written by all of you. It's great to be here.

aziza

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