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The Shadow in Blue
Member

since 2006-05-18

Posts 493
EL, Michigan

0 posted 2006-07-06 12:55 PM

The Traitor in Red

Benedict Arnold born anew
rose from the ashes
of a once good friend
who stabbed me in the back
with his ice cold shoulder

But instead of the red coat
he wore in disquise
his plain jeans and tee
hid his allegiance all too well
yet lingered with traces of his lies

But this traitor of my heart
had no use for a gun
for all he needed to do
was forget I existed by simply ignoring
the blood running in my veins

And this stab at my heart
hurt far worse than death
for death is so swift
but betrayal lingers longest
in the depths of the heart

And as you committed
that last act of deceit
I smirked right back at you
and slapped the taste
right out of your mouth

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

1 posted 2006-07-06 12:58 PM

"And this stab at my heart
hurt far worse than death
for death is so swift
but betrayal lingers longest
in the depths of the heart

And as you committed
that last act of deceit
I smirked right back at you
and slapped the taste
right out of your mouth "

Wow! and Ouch!
Very expressive write...

JL

Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed:
blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed.
~Jesus Christ

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

2 posted 2006-07-06 10:27 AM

hehe, a great analogy; not only are you a very good writer, you are a bundle of spunk, lady!

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

3 posted 2006-07-06 03:20 PM

Jill~

Strong ... strong ... and so well emoted~

*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email - [email protected]

The Shadow in Blue
Member

since 2006-05-18

Posts 493
EL, Michigan

4 posted 2006-07-06 04:15 PM

*bows down with a flourish*

Why thanks for the comments everyone. I'm much obliged. I guess I sort of did an ok job on this poem,but I personally think it is a little rough at parts.

But one thing I do know is that I like showing my spunk at times because heck it is always nice to show an air of rebeliousness (is that a word...hmmm...) especially when you get backstabbed...arghh...

Welps thx again,
J. ^_^

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