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Open Poetry #38
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ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state

0 posted 2006-06-29 09:59 PM


When a formula gets written
disputed,
the person dies
memories of mind labour,
proofs haunts the living
the work is questioned
when sources are concerned
a daughter lies...
protecting the dead.

What happens to the formula
numbers held to view
largest prime proof
held to question
who was the author
father or daughter;
when people die
their work lives on
through orders of the day
the smokemeat on rye
and subzero temperatures

Mathematical lives
turned from logic
frenzied thoughts
turn to mad fits of success
when sources question proofs
through the orders
of ink filled days
research nights
emptied deli plates
the need to prove
obsure equations
lie in conflict.





[This message has been edited by ecrivan (06-30-2006 08:48 AM).]

© Copyright 2006 Martin Dansky - All Rights Reserved
Poetic Concept
Member
since 2006-06-25
Posts 66
God's Fingerprint
1 posted 2006-06-29 11:13 PM


I think that this has some creative flare not enough however to be a great poem but defintitly enough for a good piece some of the words u used had a sort of melacholy however which seemed out of character for this type of piece but it was good nonetheless so good luck...and elevation is the key...

Return the favor on Valentines

"How vain it is to sit down and write when u have not stood up to live"
                     Anonymous (Unknown)

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2006-06-29 11:44 PM


I'm afraid I didn't "get" it.

And just 'cause I don't "get" it, doesn't mean it has no redeeming qualities, but I sure would love it if you'd toss me a line of explanation on this one.

I was confused from the opening here:

"when a formula gets written
disputed, the person dies"

I'm not even sure how to read it I'm afraid...is formula in question a written dispute, or should I read it with a pause, like so:

When a formula gets written--
disputed--the person dies

and as I think on that, I sure hope you survive my questions. Grin?

I'm intrigued. Let me in on it, e.



ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
3 posted 2006-06-30 08:39 AM


just elaborated on this piece so it narrates better and some atatements are qualified. This one is  inspired by the film with the same title


ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
4 posted 2006-06-30 08:39 AM


just elaborated on this piece so it narrates better and some atatements are qualified


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