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proof
| Open Poetry #38 |
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proof |
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state 
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When a formula gets written disputed, the person dies memories of mind labour, proofs haunts the living the work is questioned when sources are concerned a daughter lies... protecting the dead. What happens to the formula numbers held to view largest prime proof held to question who was the author father or daughter; when people die their work lives on through orders of the day the smokemeat on rye and subzero temperatures Mathematical lives turned from logic frenzied thoughts turn to mad fits of success when sources question proofs through the orders of ink filled days research nights emptied deli plates the need to prove obsure equations lie in conflict. [This message has been edited by ecrivan (06-30-2006 08:48 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2006 Martin Dansky - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Poetic Concept Member
since 2006-06-25
Posts 66God's Fingerprint |
I think that this has some creative flare not enough however to be a great poem but defintitly enough for a good piece some of the words u used had a sort of melacholy however which seemed out of character for this type of piece but it was good nonetheless so good luck...and elevation is the key... Return the favor on Valentines "How vain it is to sit down and write when u have not stood up to live" |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I'm afraid I didn't "get" it. And just 'cause I don't "get" it, doesn't mean it has no redeeming qualities, but I sure would love it if you'd toss me a line of explanation on this one. I was confused from the opening here: "when a formula gets written disputed, the person dies" I'm not even sure how to read it I'm afraid...is formula in question a written dispute, or should I read it with a pause, like so: When a formula gets written-- disputed--the person dies and as I think on that, I sure hope you survive my questions. Grin?  I'm intrigued. Let me in on it, e. |
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
just elaborated on this piece so it narrates better and some atatements are qualified. This one is inspired by the film with the same title  |
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
just elaborated on this piece so it narrates better and some atatements are qualified |
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