»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #38
»
Histrionics
| Open Poetry #38 |
|
Histrionics |
|
|
Triskaidekaphobia Member
since 2003-02-05
Posts 251In a state of disrepair... |
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. The first one now, so badly done. Where's all the filthy honey gone? Is this Old Age setting in or is that just a song? Histrionics and improper forms administered liquid as green dawn. Well, another round as comes and come it will, the bitter pill. So lead me to the northern light belonging to this swallowed night. The thought I know is kindly hazed, spirit sharpened by the crazed Myriad monuments to melancholy drunk while forcing frowns from memory's dead towns and the oldest of their sounds. Perfection is exemption from redemption, because a halo might burn my hair. Help me, please, to help myself. To help myself, to please the health. Melodrama has the sweetest sound in all the black sky and the grey fire. And besides... Absinthe makes the hurt go under. "And the sun went down, and the stars came out far over the summer sea, |
||
| © Copyright 2006 LTEvans - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
incredible write... enjoyed the ponder, the visuals, word play...exceptional read, thank you You ask for comments, and constructive critiques that tell you what is wrong with the damned thing...be as cruel as you like??? From my point of view, and I don't deem myself a critique...this was a profound write and read... Welcome to PIP and looking forward to reading more of you |
||
|
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
"Perfection is exemption from redemption, because a halo might burn my hair." AWESOME  |
||
Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
Weelll...as much as I like being brutal, I can't help but think there's not much wrong with this. I love it when writers aren't afraid to portray a sense of cynacism in their works. The ryhme scheme was nice as well, it didn't seem forced, and the poem was the right length. It wasn't long enough for me to get bored, but it didn't really leave an incomplete feeling either. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
