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Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

0 posted 2006-05-19 07:54 PM

working on your portrait
in the dark
wondering how to paint
the likes
of you,
whose true visage
prefers to remain
hidden from view

oh, I see the shape
of the nose,
the chin
the gaze and how you tilt
your head to one side,
as if listening
to my every word
while thinking

how nice it would be
to lie alongside greener pastures
underneath bluer skies

and while your smile lies,
your eyes deceive only you

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

1 posted 2006-05-19 10:17 PM

Wow...this packed a punch.
Masterful write.
TD

Honeybee
Member Ascendant

since 1999-12-26

Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

2 posted 2006-05-19 11:00 PM

Powerful write, especially loved the last 2 lines

Melissa~

Intellectually I know that Canada is no better than any other country. Emotionally I KNOW that Canada is the best country in the world!

Larry C

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

3 posted 2006-05-19 11:26 PM

I think I know that look. Excellent.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane,
I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

4 posted 2006-05-20 12:12 PM

Yowww! Much enjoyed. That certainly hit me in the solar plexus.

- Owl

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

5 posted 2006-05-20 12:24 PM

Whew this is a killer ending for sure!

"and while your smile lies,
your eyes deceive only you"

Just too cool and says so much.

Eric

Bodger
Senior Member

since 2005-06-12

Posts 1260
Tolerance for a short time

6 posted 2006-05-20 04:14 PM

I do really like your words

A depth, a softness, a quality

A something that is essentially you

I sometimes say to people

I think they are talented

With you

It is you

Dave

themute
Member

since 2006-05-08

Posts 469
Maryland

7 posted 2006-05-20 04:18 PM

you send soft beauty in your words

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

8 posted 2006-05-20 05:07 PM

I must agree with the others here

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

9 posted 2006-05-20 06:39 PM

thank you
for sitting
near the easel,
letting me bleed
onto the blue

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