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BROTHER JOHN
Member

since 2006-04-06

Posts 386

0 posted 2006-04-29 01:08 PM

Except ye be converted and become as a child, ye shall not inherit the world of imagination.Please critique this poem and be honest with me.

THE CHILD IN ME

Beholding the celestial skies at night
By the child in me, I see the night's sky
As masterpieces of art which defy
The highest citics with their starry light.
This little child sees by poetic sight
The Master Artist brushing far and nigh
Vast flaming paintings for the earthly eye
To ponder heavenly art with delight!

This little child sees dancing stars afar
And chariots drawn thru the Milky Way
And comets speeding steeds from Zanzibar!

This little child see stars as a bouquet;
And with dark's entree the night's evening star
Designed a lighthouse guiding ships of clay!!

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

1 posted 2006-04-29 01:11 PM

as always, the rhyme scheme is excellent
and such a wonderful theme

I think we should all remain in touch with our inner child, no matter how old we get!

BROTHER JOHN
Member

since 2006-04-06

Posts 386

2 posted 2006-04-29 01:41 PM

Dear Passing Shadows,

I thank you for the reading of the poem. My earthly body is 73 years old; BUT my inner child is ever young and he is the really me. It is only by the child in me that I write!

Your pen name so teases my inner child and I like that. Blessings on you!!!

shades of paul
Member

since 2005-12-14

Posts 370
In Reality

3 posted 2006-04-29 09:10 PM

RoCk On, BrOtHeR JoHn !
LoVe ThE PoEm
paul

shades of peace,love,and happiness to you

Foxyoasis
Senior Member

since 2003-06-10

Posts 974
Atlantic Beach,Fla

4 posted 2006-04-29 09:11 PM

very nice

Fool me once shame on you.....Fool me twice shame on me.....

BROTHER JOHN
Member

since 2006-04-06

Posts 386

5 posted 2006-04-29 10:37 PM

Dear Paul,

Thank you for stopping by and reading this poem. It delights the child in me. Blessings on you!

BROTHER JOHN
Member

since 2006-04-06

Posts 386

6 posted 2006-04-29 10:40 PM

Dear Foxy,
You have graced me by your reading another of my poems. I have received a warm welcome by this family and I have needed this.

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