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Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

0 posted 2006-04-25 10:20 AM

Today feels like grey clouds, yet
the sunlight filters through, the window
of this small room

Today feels like reflections
of things put away for the pain.
I miss my babies and their dependence.
Being the center of their existence

My mind is naked and cringing.
Maybe in it’s own madness.
I don’t feel crazy.

But I feel alone; surrounded.
Silent, while soul screeching,
sightlessly seeing nothing,
and everything.

It just seems way too easy
to forget my name.

This thought burns in my chest
leaving puddles where needed
should be.

My whispered words of prayer
are for those that still believe.
I don’t think he’ll mind, that one
is not me.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

1 posted 2006-04-25 11:06 AM

You are such a good writer and conveyor of emotions, that my present sunny mood started to slip!

My suggestions is for you to go to bed, pull the blinds, take two aspirins and call Nurse Angel in the morning at sunrise. ~ at least I hope the sun will rise again!?1

Lending you an ear and a shoulder,
Linda

StevenS
Senior Member

since 2005-09-21

Posts 945
L. A. (Lower Alabama)

2 posted 2006-04-25 11:28 AM

But I feel alone; surrounded.
Silent, while soul screeching,
sightlessly seeing nothing,
and everything.

Susan, I know that feeling but I've never heard it put so well. Wishing you a breath of fresh air! :-)

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-29

Posts 7115
South Africa

3 posted 2006-04-25 12:14 PM

"It just seems way too easy
to forget my name." - How true this is and how well you paint a mood that many of us can relate to. I hope it passes for you as it does for me ... until the next time one perhaps remembers the past. Well done!

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

4 posted 2006-04-25 12:29 PM

You captured that feeling in the first stanza, and then backed it up as you continued. It's not just missing the times, but almost feeling in-transit between then and now, not wholly anywhere. Well done.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

XOx Uriah xOX
Senior Member

since 2006-02-11

Posts 1403
Virginia

5 posted 2006-04-25 12:34 PM

::smiles:: powerful! Stay strong This too shall pass. ((( Brenda )))

Ericc
Member Elite

since 2003-01-31

Posts 4178

6 posted 2006-04-25 02:23 PM

Very powerful and piognant.

Eric

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

7 posted 2006-04-26 06:18 AM

today, and many other days, I've felt this way too. I can't seem to get it out on paper though, so I thank you for writing it

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

8 posted 2006-04-26 07:54 AM

all is valid, what you feel ..that is

you color between
gritty and pretty
much like the paintings
that hang within my own halls

thanks sue

The Lady
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-12-26

Posts 7634
The Southwest

9 posted 2006-04-26 04:23 PM

"I miss my babies and their dependence.
Being the center of their existence"

No sooner do we learn to mother them then they are gone leaving us with our motherly feelings and no one to mother. Beautifully written Susan... profoundly sad.

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

10 posted 2006-04-27 09:01 AM

Thank you everyone.

I was contemplating the cycle of life..I think I would prefer it to work backwards..born old and progressively get younger...

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

JesusChristPose
Senior Member

since 2005-06-21

Posts 777
Pittsburgh, Pa

11 posted 2006-04-28 08:16 PM

lol

A comedian talked about a reverse cycle of life once, suggesting that we start with the average life expectancy in candles on the cake and then removing one candle for each successive birthday until the last candle is removed, then we can shout out, "I win!"

Very well written and a pleasure to read!

J@red
Junior Member

since 2006-04-28

Posts 12
Alabama

12 posted 2006-04-28 08:59 PM

"But I feel alone; surrounded."

Great line!

Superman isn't brave, he is invulnerable.

icebox
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 4383
in the shadows

13 posted 2006-04-28 10:47 PM

Wait a minute! Are you telling me we DON"T get younger?????

This is excellent work. Thank you for sharing it.

ice
Member Elite

since 2003-05-17

Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

14 posted 2006-04-29 05:35 AM

Poems like this are the reason I read poetry.

enjoyed
--------ice
><>

shmity72
Junior Member

since 2006-04-29

Posts 26
wa usa

15 posted 2006-04-29 05:38 AM

very well put...
words of emotion like this get me started too.

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

16 posted 2006-04-29 09:31 AM

Oh thank you so much for making my morning, all of you!

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

17 posted 2006-04-29 11:35 AM

It just seems way too easy
to forget my name.

I know that feeling~

Isn't it funny(odd) as we get older though, our looks may change but inside we are always young, always wanting the same things when younger...

M

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