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Open Poetry #37
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MENTAL ILLNESS
| Open Poetry #37 |
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MENTAL ILLNESS |
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Musicmaker1969 
since 2000-06-25
Posts 589Peterborough, Ontario Canada |
Mental illness Hush, hush, hush It's contagious Do not push. Doctors doubt you Say you're fine Want attention Push the line. Do not bother Help to seek You take the time Others need. Mental illness No one knows What you go through Lows and woes. Emotions shake No control Rattled thought life Let me go! Mental illness Live one day In my footsteps Feel its way. Mental illness Is no fun People judge you Then they shun. It's not easy This my life To dialy live In constant strife. Jesus lives in my heart! He can in yours too!!! |
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| © Copyright 2006 Sheri Liegh Adams - All Rights Reserved | |||
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
good point of view here |
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playing.with.crayons Member
since 2006-01-02
Posts 362Neverland |
This poem holds a good message about mental illness patients slipping through the cracks, but these two stanza's have a few problems with forced rhyme, especially the last. "Mental illness Is no fun People judge you Then they shun." You've worded your poem quite well up until this point. And the next stanza, It's not easy This my life To dialy live In constant strife" well. It is very hard, if not impossible, to pull off the life/strife ryhme. Nonetheless, quite a lovely poem. well done! xx |
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