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Open Poetry #37
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Spies Never Tell
| Open Poetry #37 |
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Spies Never Tell |
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icequeen Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633FL USA 
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I’ve seen your spies, their heads bent in cars watching me unload the groceries in ninety degree heat without offering to help… How much more they could tell you if only they would carry in the twelve-packs of diet soda and the heavy melons that are in season now They could report back to you that my evening meal is sometimes no more than champagne and a chocolate kiss You would know by now that I no longer have that dog that growled at you until you fed him your lasagna The papers might say that I keep a teddy bear on a small table in my bedroom, irises on the dresser and that all the skeletons are safely locked away in the linen closet, hidden under the quilts Your dossier wouldn’t be complete without telling that there is only one bathrobe hung on the door but there are five pillows on the bed, along with a dark fur throw which I toss seductively over the top of a cream-colored scalloped edge chenille bedspread and perfumed candles are lit for strategic ambience There are no photographs of you here anymore No love letters or poems you once wrote to me, the little gifts you sent are ashes in the wind… All the things your spies can never know If you had just asked I’d have gladly told There is no trace of you here because you wished it so And I always gave you everything you ever wanted [This message has been edited by icequeen (03-03-2006 09:20 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2006 Caroline Rush Markham - All Rights Reserved | |||
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MUSEconnieSEconnie Member
since 2006-02-28
Posts 74california |
I LOVED THIS SO MUCH! ONE TINY CRITIQUE FOR UNDERSTANDABILITY. I WOULD CHANGE THIS: How much more they could tell you if only they would carry in the twelve-packs of diet soda TO THIS: How much more they could tell you (BREAK) if only they would carry in the twelve-packs of diet soda AMAZING WRITE. VERY WELL WRITTEN MY FRIEND! LOVE LIGHT LAUGHTER MUSEconnieHUES |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Caroline? I thought you were me for a moment.... except I don't own a teddy bear. Kudos, girl.... and Connie's critique was good... it just helps with the flow. You GO! Oh, he went.  Now you don't have to.But, you COULD do it again! |
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Kathy Member
since 2006-02-10
Posts 153 |
Bravo! Kathy |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Great write! |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Enjoyed this one. Good work. martyjo |
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aujussy wolf
since 2003-08-09
Posts 1215Michigan |
AWESOME POEM well written !!! In his mantle gray he walked one day across a shining floor and with crystal key in secrecy he opened an ivory door -J.R.R. Tolkien(T.Bombadil-the adv |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Caroline~ Sweet lady ... this has a poignancy that begs to be read thrice ... so I did~ It is so good to see you penning~ Drop me a note at my email address below~ *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~ |
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icequeen Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633FL USA |
Connie you are so right there... thank you! I did a copy/paste out of my word processor and somehow that all ended up jumbled. The way you wrote it is how it was originally supposed to be! Thanks for reading  Ms. Shine ~~ thanks for stopping by! You should get a teddy bear ~~ they are wonderful company and never criticize or talk back LoL Kathy/Iliana/Martyjo/Wolfie - THANKS! I'm so appreciative of your visits here  Marge ~~ Hi Girlfriend!! awww.... you spent that much time on my drivel? I'm flattered hon! I'll email soon~~ Huggles! He who wants a rose must respect the thorn. |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
"You would know by now that I no longer have that dog that growled at you until you fed him your lasagna" A poignant, lovely work. So well done. |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Your dossier wouldn’t be complete without telling that there is only one bathrobe hung on the door but there are five pillows on the bed, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I'm lovin' those lines. Nice writing Caroline, every word of it~ |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
There is no trace of you here because you wished it so And I always gave you everything you ever wanted Choosing a favorite passage is downright difficult when I love every bit of it! *S* But... the ending is just perfect... the poignant keeping of a promise no one should have to make. *S* And yes... a big cheer for teddie bears. *S* |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nice...the way we are treated by someone tells us everything we need to know...James |
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jody5 Senior Member
since 2005-12-21
Posts 876California, U.S.A. |
What a great write. It is so absolutely true and done with such passion. I give you a standing ovation for quality and huggs Kim |
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XOx Uriah xOX Senior Member
since 2006-02-11
Posts 1403Virginia |
The first time I read this, I wanted to tell you how excellent I thought it was. But, I didn't. Nor did I on the 2nd and 3rd reading. Now, I find myself here for the fourth time. I thought it then...I say it now... Excellent !!!! |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Poignantly painted in the colours of reality. I ache for your pain, but applaud your courage to know what is best for you. SUNSHINE! Every animal lover should have a teddy bear! Mine is only a tiny one because the one that my son eventually got me, after much hinting with a capital H, was stolen - but at least I have a tiny one. If I lived in America, I would rectify your sad situation (smiles and much concern). WILL SOMEBODY IN AMERICA PLEASE GET SUNSHINE A TEDDY BEAR? - Owl |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Very poignant indeed! The last few lines really intensified it, although it was very compelling to read beforehand. My, oh my! Powerful writing! Loved it! misce |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
bathrobe? so that is what those hooks are for...no wonder folks think I am strange for hanging a spare six pack of bud on em.. enjoyed it ms..kewl stuff |
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