Open Poetry #37 |
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before I slip |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside ![]() |
I was thinking, why don't you stop by so I can show you around a little bit and let you take a look at what you missed. If you promise you'll spare me, it makes me nervous when you pretend not to look at the scars on my heart. And over here we have something different but you may not appreciate the art work, or porcelain blue on brown and lime green scheme of things. It's been a long time, but not much has changed except my attitude and what I call colorful. It's just a thought, a little something for you, self serving perhaps to see if you have a care like I do. You know, you probably should get going before I slip and get too comfortable. Heaven forbid, I make the same mistake twice. Furthermore, I can't skirt around you tonight, it's pulling too tight and I'm losing my train of thought. Hold on, where was I Right, maybe another time. [This message has been edited by BluesSerenade (02-19-2006 03:54 AM).] |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
love it...(we are probably more alike than you remember ![]() ![]() M |
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James_A_Fraser Senior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 972Out Making Anticlines |
Sometimes it can be a good thing, making the same mistake twice ~~ scars and all. There's an element of sadness and resignation in this piece, and at the end I found myself saying, "Don't give up, don't you give up on him like that!" ~~J |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Umm, thanks you two. My thoughts started dancing in my head last night. Sheesh, I should have just gone to sleep and scrapped this all together. But you know how it sounds good at the time? Oh Please, and thank you~ |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
"And over here we have something different but you may not appreciate the art work, or porcelain blue on brown and lime green scheme of things. It's been a long time, but not much has changed except my attitude and what I call colorful." Sounds beautiful to me...anytime. Good to read you again Bluesygirl. Like bright, warm sunbeams in February. ![]() |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Lori "It's just a thought, a little something for you, self serving perhaps to see if you have a care like I do." I like the honesty of this...and to serve yourself is not a bad thing! ![]() |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
You're timing is all wrong Duncan dear, I was hoping this would find it's way to the back pages.... preferably, sooner, than later. But I'm glad you enjoyed the scheme of things, and I do appreicate the bit about sumbeams. Thanks bub~ You almost got by me, Martie girl. Thank you. My thoughts were racing last night, but it wouldn't have hurt to have kept them to myself. *cringe* |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms bluezy.. interesting how we think with shovels huh? enjoyed it though |
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Magnus![]() ![]()
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Great write Bluesy...ya definitely told em... |
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Klassy Lassy Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187Oregon |
"the lime green scheme of things" -- such vivid contrast to the porcelain blue of sky and the brown of earth... but very new, like budding leafs and springtime. I love the way your thoughts progress in this poem where old things appear comfortable, but new beginnings hold so much more promise. Roses to you, Girl! Karen |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Oh Bluesy! I'm another who is so pleased you didn't scrap this one!! Excellent write here! Hugs~Nancy ![]() ~ Trace my body with your words, |
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Edward Grim Senior Member
since 2005-12-18
Posts 1154Greenville, South Carolina |
Yeah, I like it. It's very truthful and natural. You are very good. Cheers - Ed "Give me a museum, and I'll fill it." |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
"And over here we have something different but you may not appreciate the art work, or porcelain blue on brown and lime green scheme of things. It's been a long time, but not much has changed except my attitude and what I call colorful." Time does change the color.....like this Bluesy. ![]() |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
Lori, It may have been a while since I've romaed around this place, but I surely didn't forget your elegant and beautiful words... this is lovely. Take care. Amy ![]() |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Well heck, I didn't feel I took enough time or collected my thoughts when writing this. I'm my worst enemy and critic, and it just kills me when I post on the fly! ![]() Thanks to all of you for reading and replying. |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
"If you promise you'll spare me, it makes me nervous when you pretend not to look at the scars on my heart." Scrap it?? You are your worst enemy. You've said a lot in this poem and I enjoyed all of it. |
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icequeen Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633FL USA |
You know, you probably should get going before I slip and get too comfortable. Heaven forbid, I make the same mistake twice. Furthermore, I can't skirt around you tonight, it's pulling too tight and I'm losing my train of thought. Hold on, where was I Right, maybe another time. I can remember where I was standing when I went through this a long time ago... you must have been a fly on the wall and saw me drop my pen. Its perfect ![]() Caroline He who wants a rose must respect the thorn. |
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