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Don_Juan
Member

since 2004-04-08

Posts 252
Far from where I am going

0 posted 2005-07-21 02:31 AM

My faded smile of pardoned eviction
comes down along your spine tonight
just like your guiltless waterfall
staining and removing all in its wash
and try as I may
to sing my off key love rambles
every word and note was a whisper
within your ears.
Everything was never perfect
a labyrinth of deceit
filled the silences of conversation
the bland and boring was promising
but never sufficed for life
time has been a cruel master
shattering a stained glass existence
leaving shards in a lake of tears.

(Bear with me as work away the rust from my pen. Apparently my ispiration well has gone dry.)

nice use of muffin

A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-03

Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart

1 posted 2005-07-21 03:46 AM

shattering a stained glass existence
leaving shards in a lake of tears.

What a beautiful line...wished I would have written that one!

No rust here....shiny as ever!

As for inspiration, we will just have to find you some~

~ARH

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take - but by the moments that take our breath away."

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

2 posted 2005-07-21 09:50 AM

"and try as I may
to sing my off key love rambles
every word and note was a whisper
within your ears."

liked this part very much...

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

3 posted 2005-07-21 09:58 AM

Hi, Don Juan! It is a pleasure to be reading your words once again!!!

I do believe that you very effectively removed the "rust" from the following lines:

~ "time has been a cruel master
shattering a stained glass existence
leaving shards in a lake of tears."

Warm, welcome-back hugs,
EA

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

4 posted 2005-07-21 10:10 AM

Don Juan, I like the off-key love rambles. That's such a neat line.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

5 posted 2005-07-21 01:32 PM

if this is rust
I wanna rust a bit

Don_Juan
Member

since 2004-04-08

Posts 252
Far from where I am going

6 posted 2005-07-23 02:20 AM

Thanks, everyone, for dropping in and looking at my attempt at chisseling through some writers block.

If you all have some inspiration feel free to send it my way.

nice use of muffin

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