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Open Poetry #36
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Dominique-Simone
Senior Member
since 2005-11-12
Posts 643


0 posted 2006-01-07 10:40 PM


On the bus
On my way to Middleton
The trees pass by on fast forward  
And mothers with crying babies beg for sleep
Sitting quietly I meet this man  
Much like most  
Painted hair stuck to his head like glue
With an odor so horrendous it pierced my nostrils
And he smiled at me with an agenda at his hip
I look away wondering why his smile
So wry, and plain frightens me  
As if I was chased down and killed
For the very first time
the music in the back of my mind
Plays on. Tapping my shoulder
I know it is him he says his name is Peter
Peter? Watchfully I smile and I say my name is
Sue, however my I.D says Naomi,  
But I know this man Hates Naomi’s and  
Probably snacks on their bones while watching  
Wheel of Fortune
Later I will move to another seat.  



[This message has been edited by Dominique-Simone (01-07-2006 11:47 PM).]

© Copyright 2006 Page McKay - All Rights Reserved
The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
1 posted 2006-01-08 01:03 AM



Strong images here.

"As if I was chased down and killed
For the very first time"

Great line.



serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2006-01-08 06:52 PM


Lots of intrigue here, and I like that...

a flashcard image of a moment in time, and then a promised "later"

as if you can't wait to see how it turns out yourself...

nicely done

Dominique-Simone
Senior Member
since 2005-11-12
Posts 643

3 posted 2006-01-09 10:45 AM


thank you both
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