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DejaEntendu
Member

since 2005-12-06

Posts 82
Pennsylvania

0 posted 2005-12-07 05:08 PM

A December Morning

I reach and touch your hand,
your breath overwhelms me,
I'm warm, cozy, belonging,
all is at peace.
Sweet Tranquility,
all I desire, right before my eyes,
your smile leaves me wanting more,
but I must go.

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

1 posted 2005-12-07 06:31 PM

Oh shoot!

Wish you could have stayed.

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

2 posted 2005-12-07 06:43 PM

I couldn't help thinking of bad breath when you said, "your breath overwhelms me". I'm sorry, I know that wasn't your intent. If I hadn't got caught up in that it would have been easier to feel the peaceful morning you described.

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

3 posted 2005-12-07 07:53 PM

LOL, at Martie

and I on the otherhand took it as opening a door and feeling the gusts of winter air taking my breath away. Isn't poetry just grand? Every word is a different picture to every body.

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant

since 2004-10-12

Posts 6688
Waukegan

4 posted 2005-12-07 08:20 PM

This is good

Larry C

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

5 posted 2005-12-07 09:02 PM

DejaEntendu,
See they treat you like you've been here forever already! Such wonderful writing and then all that irreverance. That breath line didn't bother me at all. But the last line did. I'm with Sharon. Oh shoot! I think you're going to fit in here real good.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane,
I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

aujussy wolf

Senior Member

since 2003-08-09

Posts 1215
Michigan

6 posted 2005-12-07 10:48 PM

great poem !!
i remember times like those
~howls

pictureme2
Member

since 2005-11-13

Posts 194

7 posted 2005-12-08 12:27 PM

Loved the title
Warm cozy friendly write until the very
end......bitterly cold!
Great job.
thanks for sharing.
pictureme2

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

8 posted 2005-12-08 09:36 AM

They'll be back, right?

write on...I am enjoying.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

DejaEntendu
Member

since 2005-12-06

Posts 82
Pennsylvania

9 posted 2005-12-09 12:38 PM

thanks for compliments everyone
@ mysteria- haha, yes i wish i could have stayed too.

@martie- lol, yes, I could see thinking that and having it interfere with the poem lol, but thanks.

@ Huan Yi- thank you, for letting me know you enjoyed it

@Larry C- thank you, you've really made my first few days here feel like I am welcomed. Thank you for replying to many of my poems.

@ aujussy wolf- Glad I could spark an old memory.

@pictureme2- thank you for your comment, the ending was a little cold, but it was just how i was feeling at the time.

@susan- I hope they'll be back. Thank you for your comment, an I will keep on writing- hope everyone will enjoy it
thank you all

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