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navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #36 » Waters (haiku)
Open Poetry #36
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Angelheart
Senior Member
since 2005-09-08
Posts 754
Jacksonville,FL USA
0 posted 2005-11-24 07:11 PM

The ocean water is beyond the sea
what a sight to see
the sight to beauiful I am free



Poetry can get you very far
-Laura

[This message has been edited by Angelheart (11-26-2005 08:21 AM).]
© Copyright 2005 Laura - All Rights Reserved
Sharksbean
Member
since 2005-09-25
Posts 368
jax
1 posted 2005-11-25 12:44 PM

thats a nice haiku but it still needs work for instance a haiku consists of seven syllables at the top row five in the middle and seven more syllables at the bottom but all in all great work

-may the force be with you in poetry
Angelheart
Senior Member
since 2005-09-08
Posts 754
Jacksonville,FL USA
2 posted 2005-11-26 08:22 AM

thanks for making a note of that, I don't write much haiku, thanks again

Poetry can get you very far
-Laura
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navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #36 » Waters (haiku)

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