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| How to Join | Member's Area | Private Library | Search | Sanctuary | Login | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Main Forums | Discussion | Tech Talk | Mature Content | Archives |
A home without a wall, |
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| Open Poetry #36 |
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When The Owl Flies |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA 
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Yet again you stole my breath, my ache resounding, surrounding, demanding. Leaving me worn upon the sands that swallowed each print, each clutch of a weathered hand digging deeper as you softly, sensually whisked from me a whisper...more I say, more... Stars gather my soul, casting it to the four corners of time, as winds search my eyes, tear them, release them that they might see.. And now, I lay helplessly spent, awaiting the rise of morning tides and the trill of a Loon before the owl flies once more...and a star falls silently, piercing my heart again. |
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| © Copyright 2005 Barry J. Tackett - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Barry...a poem of passion, much enjoyed!  |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
"awaiting the rise of morning tides and the trill of a Loon before the owl flies once more" ~ I plucked these lines out for a specific reason. They bring back wonderful memories of my camping in the wildnerness of Northern Ontario. All your poems evoke an emotion or a memory for me, Sir Poe-et! Linda |
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MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
...and you, Sir, have a consistent soft tone in your story-like descriptions which always bear your stamp of evocative quality. You haven't disappointed me yet, and I don't forsee the day, either... -MVS You CAN make a difference, but first you should learn how: http://educate-yourself.org/intro.shtml |
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bgj Member
since 2005-11-09
Posts 128Ga. USA |
I really like this, "Stars gather my soul, casting it to the four corners of time, as winds search my eyes, tear them, release them that they might see.." Great write, lots of luck, bgj |
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CastleGuard Senior Member
since 2003-04-30
Posts 760Alberta, Canada |
I just absolutely love this kind of writing. Excellent work, Barry. CG |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
What an exquisite work of flawless art fashioned by a master! It is a pleasure to read a love poem that holds the attention of the reader every syllable of the way! I like the way you started in the middle of your story with “Yet again”. You have taken what could have been clichés and have sculpted them into something deliciously unique with a single word, for example, “the four corners of time”. You have used alliteration and assonance very effectively throughout the poem. For example, the assonance in “resounding, surrounding / demanding” lengthens the ache effectively and enhances the ambiance of sadness/passion/need - and the alliteration and assonance in “softly, sensually whisked / from me a whisper” flows beautifully without any hint of being forced. The sustained beach imagery in the first half of the second stanza paints a stark picture of your devastation. You interact with Nature in a wild dance in which it embraces you and yet tears you apart, just as your lover does. The pièce de résistance for me is (and not because I am an owl – or rather that has very little to do with it), sandwiched in between lying “helplessly spent” and the falling star piercing your heart (beautiful images in themselves), you bring in the sound of the loon and the image of the owl’s last flight. That, for me, turns an excellent poem into something way beyond that. We don’t have loons in South Africa and I have no idea of its call, except, of course, that it trills, but I am “hearing” it over and over, long after each time I have reached the end of your poem, just as I am seeing the owl's soundless flight. Thank you for this wonderful experience. I will most certainly be looking out for more of your work. - Owl |
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Greeneyes 
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
Barry this is one of the best I've read from you....amazing words and images....  ~~**~~ |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Now....How did I ever miss this perfect piece?! I am keepin' this one.  hugs, Chris Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance. |
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pictureme2 Member
since 2005-11-13
Posts 194 |
A very sensual poem that satisfies til the very end leaving the reader wanting more! Great job and great choice of words! |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Beautiful--I love your imagery! ~*Krista Lee Knutson*~ |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
Leaving me worn upon the sands that swallowed each print, each clutch of a weathered hand digging deeper as you softly, sensually whisked from me a whisper...more I say, more... exquisitly beautiful...like reading a full cup of spiritual finding.... |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
A true romantic you are Barry! This was just beautiful.  "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Well -- you'll save money with this around...who needs to turn up the thermostat??? ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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