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Open Poetry #36
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initiate encapsulate
| Open Poetry #36 |
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initiate encapsulate |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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 * * * I see, I am. I thought "I'm me." I heard I was mere chemistry (oh-that-thought-was-too-linear to be interesting...) I smiled I dipped my fingertip into the smoky quartz expanse I sipped my tongue learned secret code I laughed the gasp of universe balanced in a juggled stance (oh-I-see...) became the flow as I cocked my head to side initiate encapsulate I, the instant graduate lost myself in distribute of rhythms of the weight and I became aware as instrument lost within the perfect glimpse of water turned to wine. * * * * * |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
"I, the instant graduate lost myself in distribute of rhythms of the weight and I became aware as instrument lost within the perfect glimpse of water turned to wine." Karen, you are a magician of the English language transforming words into insight. Much enjoyed the juggling.  .....jojo |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Tarot, Tarot- how you fall---tells all! Shows the two of Pentacles Upright standing-balanced weights Affront the "water turned to wine" "I sipped my tongue learned secret code I laughed the gasp of universe balanced in a juggled stance.." Waves break On shores of preoccupation But here is shown a fond embrace Of the Lord Of Harmonious Change Who balances the pentagrams So to clear away the fog, Increasing clarity.... "and I became aware as instrument lost within the perfect glimpse Great write, my dear pipwitch. I am glad the card fell upright The poem would be much different, Had it fell reversed...  --------------ice/ford ><> |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
like i said, yer amazing  sweet dreams mxx ~i want for myself your trembling~ |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
serenity, No matter the time the grime does phantomime. Enjoyed |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
became Ok, so when I grow young? Can I be more like you? |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
quote: A stunning write. And we ARE that instrument! Love and Joy. Margherita |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
This brings to mind a few other great literary efforts at overcoming solipsism, but I have to say that this is the first time I've seen it so effectively compressed into short verse form. The flow is so quick-stepping (in a "juggled stance" you could say) that you're almost making light of the cogito ergo sum epiphany (especially in that delightful first stanza). Your efforts to send across that fact that you are unwitting in this process (your use of the word "lost" and absurd juxtapositions such as "instant graduate") at first made me think that you're boasting a genius of some sort, but I now realize that (if anything of the sort) you are preaching a kind of universal humility by attributing your development to a sort of existential angst, or a clarity that's been revealed to you. You do take actions, I know. The first stanza is entirely your actions, though "I heard" starts to move into a passive receptiveness, and your choice of words when you say "I dipped my fingertip" really helps to make the point that you are doing very little in the brief narrative of the poem, and that for the most part you are being acted upon, that you laugh as the universe gasps... It took me a bit of thinking to really understand the last two lines, but now I think I've finally got it... tired of "secret code" and "rhythms of the weight," you learn a spiritual "becoming." I think I also see some cosmological imagery, when you say you dipped your finger into a dark expanse (the primordial?), the way one might imagine a kind of demiurge giving form to the formless void. The way you put it, though, you are an infant creating an individual universe, lording over it, and eventually being overcome by it (and a sacrifice to it?). Have you ever read The Phenomenology of Spirit by G.W.F. Hegel? Check it out once you're done Faulkner. Thanks for the brain activity, Serenity. You're a constant joy. Much love Brian "God becomes as we are that we may be as he is." ~William Blake |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I, the instant graduate lost myself in distribute of rhythms of the weight and I became aware as instrument lost within the perfect glimpse of water turned to wine. My God,I love Bri's CC's they make me think for darn near days! They don't help me write better - just make me think clearer, like this poem did. He is right as you are a constant joy! Glad it landed right side up!  |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
pure excellence |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I am smiling silly here. Thanks so much for reading this, as tarot is a course of study so dear to my heart, and I seldom feel like I can properly convey the meaning in words. and *chuckling* here too Ford? When I read, I tend to break the rules. I have my own spread, and like most folks who read tarot, I can't resist reading for myself.  As for any cards being in detriment? I have devised a method of creative visualization to amend such situations. (This means I cheat. )I simply turn that bugger right side up and say "Oh no you will not!" Tain't nothing but a warning or a bit of foreshadow anyhow. (Free will, yanno...grin, I tend to practice it alot) and oh my dear buddy Brian, you peel me like an onion m'friend and glory gleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee you "get" it. And that is a constant joy for me! Thanks for taking the time. I'm consistently humbled by the generosity of you all. (now, back to Faulkner) *wink* thanks friends |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
you are a pill! a welcome capsule of life |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
what can I say after Bri up there? *grin* He IS amazing . . . *laughing* at the cheating on the reading for yourself, sheesh, have the Sacred Circle here - maybe I should get it out and make a nice week for myself, eh? This, Karen - sent me searching and you know I love that. Thank you. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
initiate encapsulate I, the instant graduate lost myself in distribute of rhythms of the weight and I became aware as instrument lost within the perfect glimpse of water turned to wine. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Is this secret code Tarot talk for you rock???  |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"I, the instant graduate" .......grabbed me. oh yes, and often a reluctant one. dang it. you are amazing... Love you lady! "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Yes, Karen, you are amazing.....both in your writing and your life, Lady. And, like Sue, I loved the part in your comment where you said you "cheat" on your reading of the cards. "I simply turn that bugger right side up and say "Oh no you will not!" I beleive like you, we have "free will". I like also that you said it "Tain't nothing but a warning or a bit of foreshadow anyhow" Like I said, you are amazing, Karen. And, isn't that Brian something else, though? He is such a genius!! And such a cutie-pie, too!! Thanks for the privilege of reading you, Karen. Hugs, Ethel |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
your experiences have brought you wisdom, and us...a library full of great enthusiasm for one special poetess... spendid write my dear...as the tarot falls... |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
What I once was I am no more. I remember it, now buried in its watery grave. I liked the flow though. -GIS Romans 8:28 "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purposes |
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JesusChristPose Senior Member
since 2005-06-21
Posts 777Pittsburgh, Pa |
and I became aware as instrument lost within the perfect glimpse of water turned to wine. ~ That was my favorite part. Local Parasite's reply help me gain a better understanding of the meaning. Talk about making me think... wow. Cool! "If this grand panaorama before me is what you call God... then God is not dead." |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
*smile* It's an energy thang... and yanno? I don't really care for my title, either, but I kept it, because it sounds like a literal "title"--which was intended. Love to you all. And keep those chi balls flowing. (hmmm...chi balls?  Oh the possibilities...) Sounds like a recipe, or an arcade game. Or...or...well, maybe I won't go there. Ya'll are so much fun, I do appreciate each and every one of you! |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
I didn't read the poem again, but your last reply, and wow, thats funny... enjoy your arcade game, lol. -GIS Romans 8:28 "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purposes |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
good read |
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