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Open Poetry #35

Moon

C_ROK06
Junior Member

since 2003-10-23

Posts 49

0 posted 2005-02-26 04:14 PM

The moon shines
Illuminating the rain as it falls
Like jewels
Shattering upon her
Who lies there
Upon the ground
Receiving the sky's blessings
Worn and torn
Shivering and cold
With outstretched arms and legs
Her soul reaches for the stars
Uplifted
To the very heavens above
Feeling cleansed and carefree
At peace
As she lies upon the field
That wore her body so
Under the moon that smiles down upon her
Waiting for her to come home

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

1 posted 2005-02-26 09:10 PM

I like this one

Opoetry4me
Member

since 2002-10-11

Posts 126
Dixon, Ky USA

2 posted 2005-02-26 10:07 PM

This is very good C_ROK. I enjoyed.

majnu

Senior Member

since 2002-10-13

Posts 1088
SF Bay Area

3 posted 2005-04-04 11:20 PM

you have some nice images but there is not good reason for you to be truncating lines.

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

4 posted 2005-04-04 11:46 PM

Thanks to majnu, for bringing this back, as I hadn't read it.
"The moon shines
Illuminating the rain as it falls
Like jewels"
I like that imagery, though it might read better without the caps.

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