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Open Poetry #35
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Rain Dance
| Open Poetry #35 |
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Rain Dance |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Rain Dance What shall a poet do in the willow-garden when the rain falls? ********************************************** A clatter of cymbals, the rattle of swords comes from gathering clouds. She bows to the ground. Rising, she tosses her head, and delight touches her strong dark face. She sways to the side and back, and the bells circling her hips chime in time to her movement. She spins and her long hair whips in the breeze she stirs. Applause from the heavens deafens, yet she turns at the clash of steel, and there he stands clad in chain-mail and glory, salutes with the sword to his forehead. He leaps forward, blade extended, through a sudden barrage from an ocher sky. The gem in her navel sparks ruddy light from his flashing blade, as she twirls and glides, the sword setting her rhythm, frozen shells mounded round bare brown feet adorned in gold chrysanthemums. One last whirl and they embrace, his sword sheathed in her breast. The rattle of cymbals stills, the clatter of steel subsides. ********************************************** A poet sits under the blasted willow, cross-legged on this rough gray stone to watch rain fall, silent, on the grass. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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| © Copyright 2005 Nancy Wilcox - All Rights Reserved | |||
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
OUTSTANDING...everyone seems in rare form this morning, and this but this is in exception, this is miraculous writing making for great understanding...thank you and hugs.... |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Thank you so much, Lee! Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
well done..indeed.... very nice... and it captured me as I read.. holding me ot the end..and a cross legged sit on stone..to watch it rain on grass.. beautiful work ma'am.. truly |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Oh did I love this! The fact it took place under a willow tree even made it more special. This was beautiful, and I printed it out for my special book, thanks for your rain dance. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"One last whirl and they embrace, his sword sheathed in her breast. The rattle of cymbals stills, the clatter of steel subsides." a very fitting climax. you do know how to tell a story! "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
A poet sits under the blasted willow, cross-legged on this rough gray stone to watch rain fall, silent, on the grass. ~*~ I can see you sitting there... watching... The storms have been brilliant this season, it seems... or is it just the poet's eye, seeing things differently? |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Amazing write .... mesmerizing Rain Dance! Love, Margherita |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
thank y'all so much. I've always loved the storms we have, the smell and the feel of the wind as the lightning crackles. I'm so glad there are other storm-lovers around here to talk to. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I love stormy weather! They are electrifying, cleansing and energizing! I feel so alive during them. ~ and I love the earthy, ozony, smell of the air. I loved how you captured the energy of storms with this captivating write!  Linda  |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
mesmerizing write Nan, I could picture this in my mind.. very well done Lady. |
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Startime55 Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148Alberta, Canada |
WOW!!!A stunning write that captivates the reader and holds their attention to the perfect ending...Absolutely stunning...I love it...*hugs* |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Linda, Gentle Spirit and startime, thank you so much for letting me know you like this one. You wouldn't believe how much revision I did on it, but at the end it was worth it. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...James |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Thanks, James. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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