we were
smiling turquoise creamsicles
passing blankets to an implausible world
oiled and satiated, christening stars
well-built infusions of two bodies gently
awakening daylight, feeling toxic tongues
thoughtful and full of perspective
sighing back,
then
without judgment

but a…
tithe of farewells, rallied
looking at me thru the other end
of some telescope
where foundation gave dry comfort
on its own street...
ruined cities, lay in a debris of quiet
concerned, about score cards
both you and me…
as your eyes set me down in darkness
        after
anxieties intruded on our consciousness
            stumbling over words

deadly rooms, watching wall street
dreaming of ruby crowns,
and a place to stay
it took
all my strength
to want you

you swelled a hyperactive victor’s rank
while my changing habits
developed high blood pressure

yes, I was afraid...

seemed a good place
to loose my soul, though
your “one summer”
in a small town
baring wounds
in a grimacing trench
writing down all the bones
of a woman’s faith
stamping permanent

ohhh, the boast of you
mocking blades of heaped floods
laughing
laughing
you laugh at my frequent urination
and heart disease

i can’t help but wonder,
about your unlimited calling card
all those gift shops, still open after five
you doing a google search
repeatidly clearing your throat
i came up last in line...
always do, ya know

its me you call, when the well is dry
and i just can’t help remembering
my kindhearted grandmother
she was a dignified employee dealing
with whatever life brought her

never the large green dome
on your fantasy retina
i always hated being poor
but…
i’ve returned to a source of something quiet
remembering where i came from
and if only for that
my heart sings and is loved

we all die, and the accommodations
along the way, are not always
five star motels
like love, i'd like it,
but do not desperately need it…
i’m ok with home improvements
and spring planting
all the while dreaming reasonably and responsibly
still loving you, as you were then
its how i choose to remember you....
and be


**************************************************************
Being Your Own Person
After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
And learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down midflight,
After awhile you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much, so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers,
And you learn that you really can endure,
That you really are strong and you really do have worth,
And you learn and learn... with every goodbye you learn.
-An unknown lover