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Open Poetry #35
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Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida

0 posted 2005-05-31 01:08 PM



It’s raining.
That dreary gray rain
that leaves you feeling
just a little down with no real reason why.

I couldn’t watch you leave
but couldn’t stop from feeling it.

It was then I realized
I gave what I didn’t want to give.
Ever again.

Damn it.

I always think I have so much more
control than I do.
Now it’s on you
whether you wanted it or not.

I feel weak
the rain makes it worse,
like a sign.

It’s funny how a past experience
or two
can take what should be a beautiful time
and spew its filth of regret and hurt.
Leaving a stained canvas of doubt
and fear

that is hidden
least someone recognizes it and knows
confidence has unraveled seams.

But for me, it’s too late.
It’s raining and I’ve already allowed
my nakedness to show

and I won’t take cover.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

© Copyright 2005 Susan Caldwell - All Rights Reserved
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
1 posted 2005-05-31 02:00 PM


Damn it.

I always think I have so much more
control than I do.

It’s funny how a past experience
or two
can take what should be a beautiful time
and spew its filth of regret and hurt.
Leaving a stained canvas of doubt
and fear

Yea, I know the feeling, and taking cover solves nothing,
and leaves the heart lonely, but still~

Nice writing, Susan~

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
2 posted 2005-05-31 02:02 PM


Dang good write Susan!
Boy do I know this feeling!!!
Heart hugs~Nancy

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

adagio
Member
since 2005-03-19
Posts 449
Marrero, La.
3 posted 2005-05-31 04:09 PM


No one has as much control as they would wish to.
loved this one.

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
4 posted 2005-05-31 04:12 PM


You know I love that fact that we as woman can be that up front to put it all out there, even if it does get stepped on.  With each experience we become more of what we are supposed to be, if we remember to enjoy the tender moments in the mess they left us, and learn from the rest.

I have never been sorry for even a few moments of love, rather than having none at all.  Never!

Loved this - can you tell  


~* C'est la vie *~

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
5 posted 2005-05-31 04:43 PM


"I gave what I didn’t want to give.
Ever again."

The whole poem is dead on my friend, but those lines touched me most.

Thank you for sharing these feelings.


nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
6 posted 2005-05-31 05:52 PM


But for me, it’s too late.
It’s raining and I’ve already allowed
my nakedness to show


know the feeling well~~


M

Aleta
Member
since 2005-04-17
Posts 102
Louisiana
7 posted 2005-05-31 06:43 PM


How many can relate... count me a place in the rain too.  Powerful write.
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
8 posted 2005-05-31 07:17 PM


I've been drenched a few times...damn...James
ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
9 posted 2005-05-31 09:32 PM


You know,
The clothes cling, the nose runs...the hair drips and the heart aches...but after Susan...
Oh the after is cleansing.
Well done.
TD

Canuckster
Member
since 2002-01-09
Posts 285
New Mexico, USA
10 posted 2005-05-31 11:24 PM


The overshadowing emotion matches well with your metaphore.

never try to teach a pig to sing
it wastes your time AND annoys the pig

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
11 posted 2005-05-31 11:38 PM


naked is best, the sissies can hide under the covers, you're standing tall
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
12 posted 2005-06-01 10:32 AM


hmmmmm...

thank you.

you all are way, way too nice to me.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

13 posted 2005-06-01 04:57 PM


Day-em, you made me feel this one.



mxx

"we all have wings, but some of us don't know why"

Michael Hutchence (INXS)

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

14 posted 2005-06-01 05:02 PM


I'm sure..you "nakedness" is nothing to be ashamed of..

mighty nice poem Ms Susan..

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

15 posted 2005-06-01 05:22 PM


"It’s funny how a past experience
or two
can take what should be a beautiful time
and spew its filth of regret and hurt.
Leaving a stained canvas of doubt
and fear"



I have missed you suze.



Greeneyes
Deputy Moderator 50 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
16 posted 2005-06-01 05:41 PM


Susan,


so much within this....wonderfully said!

I came from the mountain
The crust of creation
My whole situtaion-made from clay to stone

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
17 posted 2005-06-02 10:14 AM


Thank you Maree...

Love you Capt.

I miss you more Karen!

Thank you Lauren.  

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
18 posted 2005-06-08 08:51 AM


I have those rainy days too
*understanding how you feel here*

and I love that ending

SimplyGold
Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453

19 posted 2005-06-08 12:19 PM


Very intense and full of emotion. I felt it, in fact I could smell the rain.

SG

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
20 posted 2005-06-08 02:21 PM


Thank you Dixie.

And SG? I love the smell of rain..

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

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