navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #35 » Shell, Opaque
Open Poetry #35
Post A Reply Post New Topic Shell, Opaque Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989


0 posted 2005-05-25 10:18 AM


This shell,  opaque
encompasses my
fragility
while containing
fragments
of all that
is left  of me

I feel the suns
rays of golden
trying to warm
the cold edges of

    this chilling sigh,

and I can hear
the rush        of life

swirling by.

With fists clenched
        I hammer away
trying to break free...

my screams
fall into silence,

passers by
cannot hear
my cry    of please....

This shell
     now hardened
will not easily     break
but still;

I scratch and claw
trying to create
a fissure
that would allow
my soul     escape

from this cocoon
of emotions
that have binded
themselves
to tightly around me

suffocating
the     fantast

I used to be....

{rp~revised 5-25-05}
{fantast= visionary, dreamer}


I really want to care,
I want to feel something,
let me dig a little deeper
nah, still nothing~
my give a DAMN is busted. Jodee

© Copyright 2005 dmsmith - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2005-05-25 10:24 AM


I know...
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

2 posted 2005-05-25 10:26 AM


your writing is powerfully laiden within the readers middle eye...


Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
3 posted 2005-05-25 11:03 AM


Wistfulness so delicately scribed. You write with grace, Gentle Spirited One.


Linda

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
4 posted 2005-05-25 03:51 PM


"that would allow
my soul     escape

from this cocoon
of emotions
that have binded
themselves
to tightly around me

suffocating
the     fantast

I used to be...."

Well done Donna...another keeper for my library.
Love ya lady~

Life is one great big canvas;
throw all the paint on it you can.
                    -Danny Kaye

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
5 posted 2005-05-26 04:48 AM


I am amazed, when I read a strong poem, here in pip, and it gets so few replies....

This is one of those times...So

I am happy to send this one back to the top...

Well done, Donna

------------ice
   ><>

LeeJ
The readers third eye must be wide open, in order to bring into focus the meaning of words in a poem such as this, and also see how well the arrangement of thought is portrayed in a poets special style....

The poet also, must have a "middle eye" that is not blind to the workings of the world, in order to write them out in understandable form. MHO


latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
6 posted 2005-05-26 06:06 AM


Glad this came back up. It is beautifully written but so filled with sadness. Sometimes it is hard to seperate the poetry from the writer and I tend to want to "fix " the problem. Even when there really isn't one. best to you gentle spirit. martyjo
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2005-05-26 08:20 AM


I...

remember...


adagio
Member
since 2005-03-19
Posts 449
Marrero, La.
8 posted 2005-05-26 04:06 PM


very much enjoyed your amazing talent!
adagio

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

9 posted 2005-06-01 07:26 PM


I apologize my friends for the lateness of my reply, but I do thank each of you and appreciate you each far more than I can express. Hugs and peace to all.
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #35 » Shell, Opaque

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary