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Open Poetry #35
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As The Butterfly Climbs
| Open Poetry #35 |
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As The Butterfly Climbs |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass 
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As The Butterfly Climbs The air was alive then and I was in it all the bobbling lift and fling and oh the rise of it, pulsing under my outspread wings! I could take a tree on an updraft or hover like thought over a dandelion to sip. Now they’re spent, rag-edged, and the powder so lost the sun shines through when I flare them to the breeze; but I can feel it still, remember, climbing this stalk as I must do. I remember too the vibrant flash of you, your almost sparkle over the leaves. I climb slow now past thistle spines, specks of pollen clinging to my legs, remembering our days, how the sun would warm us in the morning and the moon’s cool flow in darkness when the moths would come to share while we were sleeping. I’m nearly high enough now and where are you, I wonder? I hope your wings still have their color sheen to lift you in that almost magic that mine lost bit by bit in chances, touches and collisions and one frantic flight from a bird. I wish I could pull past the coarse spikes of the thistle bud, taste the warm smooth nectar again, but this will do, it’s high enough. I feel the breeze; in a moment I’ll fling myself out, and if it catches me turning spreading, flailing for time, I may still feel the joy of it for just a moment, as I fall. |
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| © Copyright 2005 Ed Ratledge - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ed I have often wished for wings, but never really considered the possibility of falling if I had them. I loved the metaphor you used in this, the strength to try through fear.  |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
climb slow now past thistle spines, specks of pollen clinging to my legs, remembering our days, how the sun would warm us in the morning and the moon’s cool flow in darkness when the moths would come to share while we were sleeping. I’m nearly high enough now and where are you, I wonder? I wonder too, and will be pondering this for some time. *Just beautful* I have always loved the way you write, Ed~ |
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Greeneyes 
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
I hope your wings still have their color sheen to lift you in that almost magic that mine lost bit by bit in chances, touches and collisions and one frantic flight from a bird. I wish I could pull past the coarse spikes of the thistle bud, taste the warm smooth nectar again, but this will do, it’s high enough. I feel the breeze; in a moment I’ll fling myself out, and if it catches me turning spreading, flailing for time, I may still feel the joy of it for just a moment, as I fall.'' ____ these lines blow me away, there is so much emotion woven all through this....you're soaring and it shows!  Lauren~ I don’t mind spending everyday |
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Beki Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569Newport Beach, CA, USA |
wow! Ed you have outdone yourself -- this absolutely ROCKS!!!!!!!!!! I love the metaphor, I love the message...I love the presentation...it is one awesome poem, dude!  |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Excellent! Bravo, marty |
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Goldenrose Member Elite
since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665 |
An unusual subject...putting yourself in the butterflies place...and usuing metaphor...but using words not expected...enjoyed this read ED..thank you.. Goldenrose. Justice cannot be for oneside alone, but must be for both. (Eleanor Roosevelt) |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
wow |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
there was someone once, a long time ago, it was one of the happiest moments of my life, then...but, we both failed each other, and...hard as it may seem, we could never go back, but the wonderful thing about life is, if both are willing a friendship may flourish from the relationship...and two may learn a great deal from each other that way...your poem reminds me of the progress two people could make, if there are no expectations from each other, other then to share thoughts...and maybe in the end, the two might realize, that even though once, they shared a great love, they grew apart seperately, into different worlds...which was best for them....for from that great love, they learned the brutal pain of they're own mistakes which caused the other great heartache? I dunno, but, see what your poem did? Many thoughts to ponder, hugs hun...and thank you for a wonderful thought provoking, heartfelt write. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Even though the butterfly may fall... it took grit and strength to climb the prickly stem for one last attempt. The responses here are provoked[?] by the seriousness...and hope...of this wonderful work. Consider flying high, leave the bad behind and look for the good...for even though evil exists...the beauty of the artful butterfly consists of dreams on wing. Bravo! |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
This one climbed straight into my heart... I think it's one of your best!!! You paint so vividly with your words... leaving the reader feeling the yearn as intensely as they see the ragged wings struggling towards height... to feel flight again for one more moment... even if it means being willing to fall... I could chatter forever and not do this justice... it's absolutely superb! |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
The air was alive then and I was in it all the bobbling lift and fling and oh the rise of it, pulsing under my outspread wings! I could take a tree on an updraft or hover like thought over a dandelion to sip. Such a wonderful feeling! You describe it perfectly! As always, I enjoy reading your poetry! Wishing you a great week! Whoops--as we're almost to the weekend, perhaps I should say, "have a great weekend!" miscellanea |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
This one touches deeply Ed. Each verse holds so much depth. Well done sir. |
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Copperbell Senior Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 956 |
This is beautiful - as others have said - this so connects with our experiences including my own |
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Startime55 Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148Alberta, Canada |
Your words bring to life colors and feelings filled with magic and wonder...A stunning poem that ripple in the mind long after it is read....BRAVO!!!... |
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MGROVES
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802california |
like spirits, little angels of gods My spirit will rise |
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