Open Poetry #35 |
Irony #3 |
Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
Such is the spring rain to you As you look up to the blue Kissing the tears like elixir As evenmore... you hurt her. And I? I am no better. I told her in a letter Like her life, she threw it away And knew what the stories would say And us? we will never be. Like the moon and stars you see Millions of light years apart The tragity of the art Illusions cruel Fantacy I refuse hypocracy So you'll watch through the window The steps I take when I go... Juju [This message has been edited by Juju (04-12-2005 07:34 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2005 Juju - All Rights Reserved | |||
DavePage Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917 |
I like this It is woven and a spell checker would help but the meaning is in the vision and the words and you have talent Dave |
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
Thank you. If you find errors tell me so I can change them. |
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
What do you mean by woven? I looked it up and I thought it was a bad thing, but the difenition, isn't bad thing for poems. Juju |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...James |
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
Thank you! Juju Juju - 1.) a magic charm or fetish 2.)Magic 3.)A taboo connected woth the use of magic |
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adagio Member
since 2005-03-19
Posts 449Marrero, La. |
I liked it. I too sometimes have trouble with spelling so what. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Juju, spell checking your poem is simple enough if you use a Word or even WordPerfect program. Spelling is an important part of poetry - especially for us picky readers who cringe when we see misspelled words. It draws our thoughts away from the poem, and we miss the beauty of the words that you are attempting to portray. If you are typing it straight to the screen, and are unsure of a word, scroll up, and Ron has provided Dictionary.com. Sometimes, however, we aren't aware that a word is misspelled. A good practice is to type your poem in Word or WordPerfect or other such programs, run a spell check, and then copy and paste your poem into the new topic page. With spell-check, here is your poem again: quote: And yes, I enjoyed your weaving of words, as well. |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
Thank you for your replies. I will make the changes in a bit. Juju - 1.) a magic charm or fetish 2.)Magic 3.)A taboo connected woth the use of magic |
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netsky Member
since 2005-03-29
Posts 148Miami |
Yeah, it's a nice poem. Many, myself included cannot spell reliably. It's not a character flaw but it does spoil good poems for many readers for the reasons well stated above. Keep up the great ideas, Juju. I like your inventive spirit. Nothing -broken- about you cheers, net/reid |
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
Thank you, Juju |
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