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Saviour
| Open Poetry #35 |
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Saviour |
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LukeatNFFC Junior Member
since 2003-07-09
Posts 42Nottingham, England |
Some might call this a "Jesus" poem, but as an atheist, I'm not sure of the inspiration. A mere scratching of my mind, you might call it: Saviour The world lay broken, And into the chasm he came, His death-defying tongue unspoken, In shadow, wrought with blame, When lance broke the darkness, And heaven smote the night, There, an anomaly, waiting, Made all that once was, right. A complex mind need not endeavour, Though toil aches inside, Memory alone can last forever, Like a chasm, gaping wide. |
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| © Copyright 2005 Luke - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Luke, Even memory has its time of change. Enjoyed the read. |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
I think you are not the athiest you claim to be. He has a way of reaching us all. Well done. Joyce |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
scratch some more...I'll look forward to the next poem |
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Red Dreams Member
since 2005-01-09
Posts 90massachusetts |
This doesn't need to be about Jesus at all. It's very nice--has such a deep and timeless feel. But also, it seems less an ode, and more a mourning...a declaration of the impotence of the savior figure over personal darkness. the endless and delicate struggle of light and dark forces at war within us all the time. am I off base? anyway, very nice  |
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LukeatNFFC Junior Member
since 2003-07-09
Posts 42Nottingham, England |
I daresay a poem is in the eye of the beholder - let it be whatever you wish for it to be. The x-ray breakdown of poetry in schools, etc nowadays is so pathetic it is untrue - how can you possibly convey to another your thoughts on a poem, when it touches each of us in a different way. |
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DavePage Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917 |
If you had put this in about 8 poems of three lines they would be talking your name Your deep honesty on this I like dave |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nice writing...James |
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yv Senior Member
since 2003-05-30
Posts 574 |
Despite differing beliefs as regards religion, I must say this poem is beautful. In its essence, it is a poem that I connect with...spiritual and otherwise. Lovely. Yv-Goddess of Her Domain. Symbol of Truth Passion Pain. Let Her Smile Rain on the Hearts of the Innocent. |
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