»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #34
»
If I Go First
| Open Poetry #34 |
|
If I Go First |
|
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana 
|
When it is time Please bring me back here To this place my heart never leaves Where love and laughter Linger in the air And the sight of your face Is only a thought away. Waves embrace the shore In mimicry of our magic With both the power And gentleness of your caress While soft ocean mist is your kiss Dissolving pain’s remnants And infusing me with strength Cast me onto these winds That remember when One word said everything This heart yearned to hear I will mingle with sands From faraway lands My eyes never managed to see Don’t despair in alone I am yours; I will be here Warmth of sun will be my touch Brush of breeze will whisper love Feel and listen until someday Our atoms find each other And entwine for eternity. |
||
| © Copyright 2004 suthern - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
"Our atoms find each other And entwine for eternity." ~ I understand this... A very moving and emotive write, Dear Belle of the South.  Linda |
||
|
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
suthern Excellent write, but that is no surprise.  |
||
Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
SweetSuthernGal~ 'Cast me onto these winds That remember when One word said everything'  Beautiful ~*Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, the spirit rejoices over what it has left. - Sufi epigram <))>< Email [email protected] |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Don’t despair in alone I am yours; I will be here Warmth of sun will be my touch Brush of breeze will whisper love Feel and listen until someday Our atoms find each other And entwine for eternity. ~*~ We are on the same wave, suthern, but it never surprises me that the deeper feelings are only felt through Extra Shudder Perception... |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Waves embrace the shore In mimicry of our magic With both the power And gentleness of your caress While soft ocean mist is your kiss Dissolving pain’s remnants And infusing me with strength ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ What????? you went to the ocean with out me????? (hmmm me thinks 3's a crowd would take on new meaning)   (I could have took pics though!!!!!) hehe Cast me onto these winds That remember when One word said everything This heart yearned to hear I will mingle with sands From faraway lands My eyes never managed to see ===================================== oh how I love that verse... its a "I wish I had wrote it" kinda verse.  this is just lovely lovely lovely poetess Ruth...you may be more comfortable in rhyme..but this free verse looks mighty fine on your pen. Beautiful, inspired write Ruthie!! Poetry is emotion put into measure. |
||
|
myheart Member
since 2004-11-05
Posts 160lost in your eyes |
Cast me onto these winds That remember when One word said everything This heart yearned to hear This is lovely suthern. ~myheart~ |
||
|
Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Cast me onto these winds That remember when One word said everything This heart yearned to hear I will mingle with sands From faraway lands My eyes never managed to see ********** Now this is poetry delight and the above verse is the icing on the cake ( or green in brussel sprout) choose one. LOL Superb write and might I say that free verse looks good on you. |
||
|
JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
Beautiful thoughts in this write. Enjoyed! JL |
||
|
LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
Cast me onto these winds That remember when One word said everything This heart yearned to hear I will mingle with sands From faraway lands My eyes never managed to see Don’t despair in alone I am yours; I will be here Warmth of sun will be my touch Brush of breeze will whisper love Feel and listen until someday Our atoms find each other And entwine for eternity. Loved the entirty of this poem, but these last two paragraphs were...well...intimacy with narrative pen....stunning write! |
||
|
Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
beautifully emotional writing Ruth. Well done! The greatest beauty on earth, is |
||
|
James_A_Fraser Senior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 972Out Making Anticlines |
This is stunningly beautiful, young lady -- one of the best I've seen here. Agreeing with JM on this, free verse is gold for you. |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
suthern So very beautiful, this heart song! |
||
|
Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Suthern beloved one, Oh dear Lord, how exquisite is this, I wish so much I had even half your ability darling one, but its no use I never will. You know I’m going to say this is utterly perfect don’t you? Well, of course I am because it is. The structure, the flow, that ending all combine to reveal the genius that is you, your writing is truly outstandingly good. That you can write so that I can see the scene and almost hear the waves is just an example of how brilliant and emotive this perfect piece of beauty from you is. Truly exquisite beloved one, I love this, I love it utterly Love you always And forever more Mushy  Tomorrow is another day I don't know what it holds |
||
|
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
how touching |
||
|
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
My friends... I can't begin to thank you adequately... this one is special to me... Thank you for receiving it so kindly. *S* |
||
|
jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
am glad to see this one up...won't even chide you for how long it took to get here *well just a little maybe* *smile* this is beautiful...this is 'til death do us part' at its finest |
||
|
2dalimit Member Elite
since 2000-02-08
Posts 2228Mississippi coast |
Don’t despair in alone I am yours; I will be here Warmth of sun will be my touch Brush of breeze will whisper love Feel and listen until someday Our atoms find each other And entwine for eternity. Fantastically penned comfort of remembrance. Thank you, Melton |
||
|
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
had to read it again |
||
|
vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
nice write |
||
*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
very emotional write... ~Alli~ *:.AIM = Alli4000.:* My Journal |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
