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A home without a wall, |
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| How to Join | Member's Area | Private Library | Search | Sanctuary | Login | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Main Forums | Discussion | Tech Talk | Mature Content | Archives |
A home without a wall, |
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| Open Poetry #34 |
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Singleness Not Separate |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296
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Loneliness is not being single I was married and never lonelier There was despair, pain, sorrow Emptiness, like I’ve never before felt Now, there are no expectations No blame No fear of disappointing someone Or hurting them…with unintentional words There is no anger I can listen to music I enjoy…without condescension I’m a mountain climber climbing my own hills Only insight…independence And a wonderful world of perspective Becomes my relationship Ahhhh, yes, I did love, fully and completely And enjoyed being married… My heels kept jamming into crevices And He left me to drown… Torn apart on sharp rocks… For someone…always younger and prettier? I’m nothing to all people, but something to myself Men are wonderfully fascinating but I Grew weary of sticks and stones I’ve not had a good marriage, so there is nothing To compare with, but bruised elbows Constantly sliding down hills Feeling like a failure…feeling betrayed Now there are no expectations of whom I should be I’m a single life lady making decisions in minutes Not having to ask for permission to be content Nor feeling guilty because I am… Never again will I be a match made in minutes No regrets, only further choices & experience Abstinence is deciding Not to go out with someone I wouldn’t potentially marry Physical interaction so severely impacts the lives of so many And quit frankly, I never want to feel that kind of pain again…. Nor have someone walk away… Accountability is essential to remaining happy Relating to each other with humility, respect and concern For the other person’s best interest Means being honest… Believe me, I’ve done my share Of hurting others…to. It isn’t always black and white… Compatibility is avoiding grey hairs… I want to compliment any interactions Even if we decide, we’re not meant to be Sharing faith wins my heart Casual friends are all I can handle So, abstinence is a choice and the biggest part Of what makes me…me…. I don’t have to be in a relationship to feel good about myself There are no more night fears Or swimming with sharks It’s me…and love Love has a whole new meaning Which doesn’t rely on anyone for happiness Being single is not being separated It’s not a task, it is however a time Of total resolution, about oneself… It’s a real life story With no more bad dates Or Halloween parties I'm no longer apart from society but a part of society In my own name and I love this world |
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| © Copyright 2005 Lee J. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
how about a match made in disneyland wanna ride along in mr toad's tunnel and pretend enjoyed your art here lady LeeJ |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
you said it Lee, be proud of you, I know this quite well: I’m a single life lady making decisions in minutes Not having to ask for permission to be content Nor feeling guilty because I am… exactly, no guilt. |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
except for loving the world of aloneness I can relate to every word here: especially: Now, there are no expectations No blame No fear of disappointing someone Or hurting them…with unintentional words I wish many things..that I can't even express on here..because Lee at our age ( ahemmm...) that is what the opposite sex thinks, at least those I have run across..and they prefer to keep the commitment out of the relationship description. Some people are made( have the constitution for) or able to be alone and I am not one of them...I can't tell you how this both touches and hurts. I live in limbo right now...wondering which direction to go  M |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
Strength of character is a quality that I truly admire. Enjoyed reading your thoughts LeeJ! ~tier  |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
the similarities are astounding between our lives Lee. And now I know why my dad chose to stay single after my mother passed when I was little. Independance, and maintaining ones individuality is so very, very important.. I'll not get started...  Thank you for this. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
thanks for sharing you |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
LeeJ - your beauty and strength shows here - and yes, one can be terribly lonely when the world does not see the alone - am touched by your words - and moved by your strength - and yes, love makes the world - love of self allows us to move in the world with love and consideration for others - beautiful this - Love and hugs - Susan If I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . . |
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Ericc Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178 |
Wow...what an awesomw write..it holds so much in the flow of perfect words! Eric |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
reading this on the fence, wondering if i'll ever take the leap, youre a poster child tho for the happy divorcee one thing tho........ you should have got some nice juicy revenge with some young stud, o well, i'll not say more....... |
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DavePage Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917 |
The message and the words flowed well. Well said. Dave |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Lee~ I am convinced that if you stick your head out an open door or window right now ... you will hear my  for the dignified beauty and honesty in this write~To love and respect yourself is the FIRST PLACE to start ... and I've no doubt that you win in life with a beautiful attitude like this~ You are beautiful ... just beautiful~  *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Interesting...I believe if a person can be content as a single, they have no motivation to seek a romantic relationship...but those that want more have every reason...I'm always happiest when I'm with someone...I feel wanted and needed...James |
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HopeS Member Elite
since 2000-12-22
Posts 4596Perth Western Australia |
What a wonderful introspection poem !!! a truly "loving me as I am " Hope |
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MGROVES
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802california |
your words are so true. i have felt my lonliest when with another and i feel more complete when alone. i enjoy myself and life, and dont care to be pulled down again, one must first love self and have no fear of being alone then maybe someday one will come along with true love and allow you to be you and grow together. yet independently. thanks for sharing |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I read this yesterday, LeeJ... and again today... and probably tomorrow... |
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JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
True, artistic poetry. Very nice read Lee J. . JL |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Lee, This is a keeper. I have read it more than twice. You have made some good statements and decisions. I have at one time felt more lonley in marriage than I had ever felt being alone. Even within a happy marriage it can happen at times. I have felt more lonley in a crowd of happy faces than I have ever felt alone. Something creeps inside you and you just feel the tears daring to fall. So you up and make excuses to leave. A library, a garden, a few friends will do until someone special one comes by, and if they should not, I can enjoy my own company. Some of us are meant to be alone. best, marty |
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Goldenrose Member Elite
since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665 |
Very personal and something not easy to share, but you do it with no fear, and give people a light at the end of the tunnel...very good Lee thank you... Goldenrose. Love comforteth like sunshine after rain. (William Shakespeare.) |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
thanks to everyone, for your support and kindness. I'm trying to reinterate the long term effects of marriages going array and cheating. I wish society would focus so much more on teaching our children confidence in themselves, stop the fantasy romance goop...yes, intimacy is wonderful, but it goes way beyond and above (which movies never show you), unless you have a solid working relationship with two mature and considerate people...intimacy and all else is lost. We don't have to be a couple to be sucessful...and quit frankly that is, unknowingly, what our parents didn't teach us....they didn't encourage education experience & travel...my gosh, they were all afraid of leaving their safe little towns...afraid of experiencing new things...and that concept is passed down from generation to generation There is so much peace now, for me...I cannot tell you how happy and relaxed I am....not to mention the fulfillment in self...unfortunatly I chose the wrong men...who were not confident in themselves, had no respect for themselves and in turn not respecting me or the sanctity of marriage. And to, I've made some terrible mistakes...hurt people to...and the guilt of that is most certainly isn't washed away. I know people who have very solid loving marriages...and they are happy...and yes, perhaps someday someone will come along who wishes to share life as a we...but I have to know that compatiblity is in sync, in our thoughts, upbringing and independence, love for life, people, nature and experiences. You don't stop living as you grow older, and so many people do. Fear of dieing alone? My gosh...I'm never alone? I wouldn't want someone to watch me die or bear that grief? A relationship is not selfish, it is encouraging the other person to go ahead and flourish, it is respect for oneself, confidence and trust That said...I hope no one misunderstands and realizes, that its ok to be alone...it's ok to say no, it's ok to enjoy you, to travel alone and experience...it's ok to want peace...but... it's not ok to use people, simply b/c of fear of being alone, or because you are afraid to go somewhere by yourself...or to depend on someone else for happiness...if you do not don't like yourself...then no one else can make you feel better...and you will contaminate the relationship. Not to mention, perhaps scar that person maybe for life. It's not courage, really, it's what I believe and feel, and the mind powers the body to do it's will... I hope we all take concern and treat others with courtesy, understanding & awareness, before we act out on our selfish needs, fantasies...and overbearing desires...it's nice and beautiful to be in love...but goes way beyond that thought... Its not just about us...but our children who suffer greatly, our families and perhaps leaving such a bitter impact on someone, that it stagnates their journey for the rest of their lives. The mind is a powerful entity, and can convince us of many things...both good and not so good, but if we learn to train our minds to be conscienscious, maybe there wouldn't be as many divorces...and if we do this, then for generations, it might be passed down and our world might be a little better for the wear? Nuff said...sorry for the soap box |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
hugging you because I need one and I think you can use one too M |
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Rick Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903Victoria, Australia |
So very well written and full of truths my friend, much enjoyed your thoughts on life and love. Sincerely Rick |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Lee, You said it correctly. I wish others could learn as much. Why women or men think that magic other person will make them whole is a mystery. We are the only ones who can do that. We have the power of the mind that we should control, not give it away to any one else and expect them to "make us happy". Can't say it as well as you. But you have here a kindred spirit. marty |
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