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Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

0 posted 2005-01-25 02:50 PM

The Buyers

They sell Christmas trees
and wine barrels by the road,
their pungence mixing in the mud air
with flowers at random from the trucks
that work the fields around Salinas.

Rain poignant holes in the sand road
bottom out our low-slung city car
until I shift it down and drive
by country hopscotch toward the barn.

A broken down school bus serves
as an afterthought billboard, motor gone,
its top hacked away to the seats;
half the tail door flaps in slow motion.

My hand strays to my knife
as I see him in the barnshadow,
but his slit eyes see money
and he knows a better way.
He follows us inside.

[This message has been edited by Ratleader (01-25-2005 04:52 PM).]

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

1 posted 2005-01-25 03:19 PM

Oh... this has an edge to it that makes the reader feel they're there... It's either real... or your imagination truly is extraordinary! *S*

And along with everything else... you ask us to study our own assumptions... Sheer excellence, my friend!

And the picture.... wow!!! Your words speak for themselves... but your photos are never extraneous... they always add depth... Superb!

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

2 posted 2005-01-25 03:23 PM

Dead-level description of the place....including the Deliverance type lurking in the shadows. Interesting place!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

3 posted 2005-01-25 03:27 PM

whew...

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

4 posted 2005-01-25 07:00 PM

Amazing write! ^_^

~Alli~

Happy 2005!

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

5 posted 2005-01-29 08:33 PM

Ed

I don't know how I missed this one...and I'm so glad that I didn't. You made the scene come alive using all the senses....not easy to do...and the photo makes me realize that it really happened just as you say. So very well done!!

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

6 posted 2005-01-30 10:23 AM

dang

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

7 posted 2005-01-30 10:27 AM

It was fairly hair-raising....I don't know if I could have handled that guy, at least not on his home turf. He was 20 years younger than me and he moved like an alley fighter. I sure didn't want to have to find out with Ratette two feet away.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

8 posted 2005-01-30 02:14 PM

I'm glad what could have been wasn't and the knife wasn't needed... so glad the buyers didn't suffer anything more than a few bad moments... and a hit to your wallet for the tree. *G*

Excellent, gripping write! *S*

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

9 posted 2005-01-30 03:10 PM

Egads! ~ But he still wouldn't be any match for our Leader who is brave of heart!

I always enjoy reading ~ and experiencing ~ your slices of life! Your observant eye, philosophical mind, and your poetic heart make for mighty fine poetry!

Love & Light,
Linda

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