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Open Poetry #34
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Shifting Sands (Duet with Karilea/Sunshine)
| Open Poetry #34 |
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Shifting Sands (Duet with Karilea/Sunshine) |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... 
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Shifting Sands Sands of time long ago washed in seas deserted now, feel my footprints under skies set up there in highest galaxies that bathed the likes of intelligent eyes those eons ago…until our destiny Our destiny?... scarce fragment of a star safe cradled here in constellation's keep to dream... become a comet soaring far beyond the worldly boundaries of my sleep awakened now... to this... reality Reality? No, nothing stills these sands of time though destiny draws my hand into his blindly, I falter, though faith keeps entwined and I wonder at the sense of all of this and count each grain that runs to the sea The sea?... oh yes, her sands I surely know for long ago in innocent belief naive to perils of the undertow constructed, I, my castle near the reef I thought it 'home'... the sea did not agree Not agree? Nay, no surprise in these eyes for she, the sea, is no willing, misty mistress though seduction is her claim ‘neath gray skies of undulating blues shimmering, her salty kiss stole my soul, long ago, so no lament from me. Lament from me?... Nay, wish her no ill fate and leave her be to comfort whom she deem though others may be moved to so debate my soul finds peace in trickle of a stream 'tis here... I count the stars in revery © Karilea Rilling & Vicky L. Raynes |
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| © Copyright 2005 Vicky L. Raynes - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
 oh I bet you two can guess I loved this!! beautifully done.  |
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Lighthousebob Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725California |
Even though I am a Sea kind of guy, (Smiles)I do like the structure and the progression that your poem takes here. I like that you begin and end with our most dreamy astrological roots, I like the expressed childhood memory of the sea, and.... (hmmmmm) heck, I just like the whole darn thing. Most Excellent Writing. -Bob |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
wonderful together, you two are! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Thank you Susan, Bob, and Dixie. Vicki is an exceptional poet, and we had a wonderful time constructing this poem... personally, methinks it's a Keeper! Thank you, Vicky! Karilea - if I whisper, will you listen? Keeping in mind, I must stand close...and keep my promises... |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
love the questioning format...you did good~~  M |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Barvo! Much applause....  Great job....I'll have to come back and read this again... ____________ice/ford ><> |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
You (Sun) know that you both have written a topic that is so captivating. A write of the sea is an A+ to me. And this one is certainly that...beautiful blending ladies, thanx for sharing your talents. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I only wish I could have WATCHED you two write this--both of you, I know from experience are so easy to work with, I'm sure this must have been a joy for you two. and yes, the quality shows the caliber of poets here. Absolutely lovely. |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
Beautiful write you two! ~Alli~ Happy 2005! |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Wowsers, this is fabulous, (I knew it would be)absolutely! Well done both of you and please? duet again..yes?  Mxx and i knew in the crystalline knowledge of you |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
very nice |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
It was like being at the theatre ... a play of exceptional skill and charm. Beautifully done! Bravo Signore Poetesse! Love, Margherita |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Thanks so much to each of you... I truly do appreciate all the kind words... and thank you, Karilea, for writing with me... "When the power of love overcomes the love |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
It was fun... and best of all ~ painless! |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Lovely ladies! Do it (duet) again soon!! |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Painless? Because you're so well matched - Your styles flow nicely together - And this piece is as smooth as shifting sands on a balmy beach day... |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Karilea and Vicky...Loved it! Especially liked the way you each picked up on the last line of the preceeding stanza. Very well done...by two of my favorite people and poets!! |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
Excellent form and you pulled it and meshed it together beautifully... Quite well done, ladies. I look forward to more! Always, Alyssa He was a man of sorrows |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
What a wonderful collaboration ladies! Applause for the delightful flow of both thought and design throughout. Really well done Karilea & Vicki, very much enjoyed this!  Best wishes to you both! /Kit |
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JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
E x c e l l e n t!! JL |
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