Open Poetry #34 |
Sentimental Values |
BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
~*~ The highs and lows of hopes and dreams gleams, but has no meaning. Passing like a fancy, blowing smoke behind a screen. I knew for not, investing my all when agreeing to your terms. But a spade is still a spade and I had no clue what it would cost me. A quest mapped out from here to there, divided by the line of love. Hearts embezzled and tapped out, just to see how hard they fall. It was a careful ploy that drew me in another failed attempt of my investments. Those little sentimental values, I would rather not remember. How the sun rose in my hay day while losing interest in your eyes each plan and diagram fit to scale, like every broker that would break me. And so I'm pulling up all the stops and every blue graph, categorized. Excelling in their rightful columns, I here by, forfeit my number. ~*~ |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
oh God Lori, you have no idea how our thoughts are similar on this day.... heart huggin you gal... The greatest beauty on earth, is |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
And so I'm pulling up all the stops and every blue graph, categorized. Excelling in their rightful columns, I hear by forfeit my number. Lori, you shine of independence and soul music....this was indeed, a pleasure to read |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
Hearts embezzled and tapped out, just to see how hard they fall. seems to be the case don't it girl? forfeit sounds good, gett of of town before the heart sinks one too many times along with you you keep choking me up here as i go on your ride, which is my ride too i guess gotta luv ya for it |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
I'm not the first to lose my shirt, and probably won't be the last. It's like watching a rerun, except for the names have changed. Thank you so much for reading me, ladies. |
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Lighthousebob Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725California |
How you combined relationship with business in your poem here just made for most excellent poetry. The smoke screen, agreeing to terms, embezzlement...etc. etc. really all worked together for me in perfect context. I loved this poem and the ending was a knock out!!! "I hear by forfeit my number." A perfect ending I thought. -Bob |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Liked the analogies, Lori -- alot. ....jo |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
good to see you on the blue again bluesy |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
sigh of understanding here |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
Nice write Blues... ~Alli~ Happy 2005! |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
Excellent - well crafted and it's nice to see you- Susan If I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . . |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
The highs and lows of hopes and dreams gleams, but has no meaning. just keep mapping it out...all life has its meaning~~ missing you love and hugs M |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
hugssss you --understanding this..... ~~*~~ |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"But a spade is still a spade and I had no clue what it would cost me." know this... *hugs* |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Wonderful metaphor... carried well throughout. *S* I like this very much! *S* |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Thanks for all your nice replies, everyone, they are worth their weight in gold to me. |
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kayjay Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015Oregon |
Others above have noted your fine phrasing. I can only echo theirs. Heartsick poems are so real to both writer and reader. Well done. Ken Through rubble and trouble and dark of night |
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